REAL LOVE

Good to the morning y'all!

I haven't been to the hospital in a WHOLE week (YAY!) and I am eating meat again (DOUBLE YAY!).. I know that is random, but ANYONE who has been following the blog will understand those two points *waits while the semi-loyal readers check past blogs to 'catch-up'* (LOL)

Anyhow, I hope everyone is having a blessed week and I am SURE glad it is WEDNESDAY!!!! YIPPEE!!!! Friday afternoon can NOT get here QUICK enough....

So, today my topic is REAL LOVE... And I am not pitting it against anything, just freestyling about this topic because it something important: Some people want it, some have it, some avoid it, some abuse it, some misuse it, some manipulate it.... I could go on and on!.... I do feel like love (when it is REALLY REAL) takes work to maintain and improve. There is always room for improvement. One of my favorite movies is 'Love Jones' and a quote that I LIVE by and offer up to others as a way of enlightenment is said by Isaiah Washington to Larenz Tate at their friends' get-together.. Isaiah Washington looks at Larenz and says: "Everybody all trying to fall in love and shit. Falling in love ain't shit. Somebody talk to me and tell me how to stay there." To me, that quote is the epitome of REAL LOVE: Anything worth having, enjoying and reaping the benefits from is worth working hard for.

REAL LOVE takes REAL TIME to develop, mature and hone. That ish is stronger than infatutation and can either propel people into greatness or be ones' demise. Love is something simple, such as rolling over in the middle of the night while your eyes are still closed, feeling your mate there and smiling. Sometimes that is just enough, if you get my drift. Love can be a high, a sort of addiction, but REAL LOVE, is dealing and coping with the highs and lows, the ups and downs, and knowing when all of that has come to past, then you two will still be there for each other.

***I know I said I was NOT going to pit REAL LOVE against anything else, but the COMPARISON (ooohh, that's a big word boys and girls) was so natural and uncanny for me not to point out.**

REAL LOVE stands the test of time; it can weather anything and become stronger because of it. REAL LOVE is full of compromise, sincerity, thoughtfulness, selflessness and understanding.... In various forms and sometimes, simpler or smaller is SOMETIMES better and more meaningful. LOVE is about action, not just words (spoken or unspoken) or material bullsh*t.. REAL LOVE is all about sacrifice, adventure, sometimes vulnerability and fearlessness.

For the last two years, I have not given out the label 'boyfriend' for various reasons, but during my time off, I did have A LOT of time to reflect on what REAL LOVE is, what exactly is infatuation, was I ready for love, etc... All the things necessary to do BEFORE you plunge into a committed relationship. I won't say what exactly drove me to NOT do these things before, but I can say that I will chalk that up to life experiences: I AM NOT WHO I WAS YESTERDAY, NOR WILL I EVER BE AGAIN!

Today, I challenge all of my faithful readers out there to do this one thing (regardless of your relationship status): Make a DEFINITIVE/SPECIFIC and DETAILED list of what you hope to gain or learn from a relationship rooted the right way. Things are not weighted equally, so you may have to priotitize your list, in order for this activity to REALLY show you something about yourself. DO NOT think about what others want from love or what people may think or your list; do not even think about how to 'trick' your list into forming what u think ur current / ideal mate is all about. NOW: Compare how many of the items your mate (or intended mate) exudes; You mite be surpised to see that what you think is important can ACTUALLY be nonexistent or extremely dominant in your attraction to finding love. This exercise will show you that sometimes what YOU SAY you need is not exactly what your vibe (or nonverball communication) is sending out to people. Sometimes, what you say you need or THINK you need is NOT really for you anyway. Those of you who TRYING to be something that you are not, PLEASE BE AWARE that true colors come out.


****THANKS AGAIN FOR TUNING IN WITH ME THIS WEEK! HAVE A BLESSED WEEK!!!!! HOLLLLAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!****

Honesty is the ONLY Policy I KNOW.... Part 2

Hello and a GOOD MORNING out there to everyone in e-world!



First off, I want to thank all of you for reading my most recent post on being HONEST with yourself. I got SOOOOO many texts about that..

I know some people were happy to tell me how much my blog was the truth.. and for that, I appreciate their honesty.

Thanx for ya support!



Today, my topic for blog discussion will be focused on the mentality of males....



Follow me if you dare... mu-ah-ah-ah! * evil laughter*



I have been watching 'For the love of Ray-J' since it aired; the first show was against my will. However, after seeing the first show and the second, I was hooked!! Yesterday was the finale and I am sooo excited because Cocktail is the winner. Personally, I was sad to see Chardonnay go because I truly felt like she was the one for Mr. Willie Ray Norwood Jr. (Don't ask how I know his real name; I used to be a Ray-J fan back when he was singing 'Let It Go' lol).. However, Ray-J let Chardonnay because he felt like she was more of a "homey" than a "wifey".



To me, it was kind of ironic as to why Mr. Ray-J did not swoon over Chardonnay. After the first nite, if he felt she was the type of woman that was not good for him, then maybe he should have eliminated her sooner. However, I do think that Ray-J has issues. How do you explain keeping Ms. Unique (who LIED the MOST during her lie detector test) and get rid of Chardonnay (who told the TRUTH on the VAST MAJORITY of her questions), keeping Danger's crazy a$$ (after her lie detector test proved she was an 'unstable creature') and CHOOSING Cocktail (who admitted needing a man to complete her, yet Ray-J NEEDS a STRONG woman)? To me, it was wrong and Ray-J knew it. But, men (like most women) can not justify 'CHEMISTRY'..



Chemistry (or lack thereof) can be defined as that intagible something that draws you toward (or repels you) from a person in a way. It can be decribed as the burning feeling (or ice cold repulsion) you have for people. Chemistry can not be measured, but it's something 'you just know' when it's right or wrong....

Chemistry is a very strong thing people! It can make sooo attracted and addicted to being around someone or their aura or it can draw you away from someone, like a funky odor.. Chemistry is a powerful thing.... Whether you want to believe it or not..

Anyway, Back to Ray-J.. He ditched Chardonnay because he felt like he had TOO friendship chemistry with her and not enough love chemistry (I assume since the show is 'For the LOVE of Ray-J).. However, I feel like he already knew this.. Sometimes when you and someone hit it off like those two hit it off, romantic things seem to be awkward because you are looking at this person like a homeboy/homegirl.. I also feel like ANY good relationship that wants to have a solid foundation should have that 'friends' basis in it.. Friends get to know each other in a relaxed-type of environment, which can sometimes eliminate the pressure or stress of romantic overtures....

I feel like if some MALES would be MORE honest with these females, then they wouldn't have so MANY broken hearts and hurt feelings out there. Yes, we as females are sometimes emotional and look ahead with our hearts instead of opening our eyes and seeing what is REAL.. Sometimes males brag about their "game" but TRUST!!!! It is NOT GAME when you are lying, deceiving or manipulating people to get what you want from the situation. (It's actually called LYING!!!!!!!!! lol)

I hate it (I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT!) when girls make up excuses for guys who are nothing but weak liars.. UGH! Grrrrrr.... I also hate it when guys don't "MAN UP" and just admit to their infidelities, their lack of self-esteem (ooh there's a GOOD ONE!!), their fear of sometimes not being good enough for THAT ONE lady so they over-compensate by having MULTIPLE females (whome may or may not be very different from one another) in order to make themselves feel more like a 'man'..

For example, these reality shows are FULL of insecure men (and women) wishing to be pampered with attention and love from women who want their attention for whatever reason.. These men (or at least they seem to be) sooo desperate for some attention that they set up challenges and missions that pit the ladies against one another for the time and affection of the pseudo-celeb dude (or gal).. I mean let's be REAL for a minute.... What celeb in YOUR mind has trouble finding a date?? Even the ugliest of celebs have a flocking of some sort... Who can find love in a month????? OMG!

Well... That's all I have to say on that.... Stay TUNED!!!!

**** AGAIN, THANKS for giving me all the love and visiting the blog VERY often!!!! Until next time, HOLLLLAAAAAA!!!!!****

I been GONE for a MINUTE, but I'm Biz-ack on the BLOGSPOT

Good Morning guys!!

I sooo want to apologize for not writing in OVER 2 weeks.... I have been in & out urgent care for the last 2 weeks with VARIOUS things.. But anyhow, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I AM HERE: Alive and Kicking!!!!

So, things for me have been VERY blessed.. I have SEVERAL interviews (some successful and some not as successful), but I have learned PLENTY from EVERYTHING and EVERYONE I met..

My topic for the day is HONESTY & MEN. Being honest with yourself and being honest with your situation (being grounded in reality, so to speak). *takes a deep breath*

I am SPEAKING on stuff I USED to do, but I learned from. Learn from my mistakes. I know for MANY of you readers out there, you WILL know someone that sounds like the situation I am describing (heck it mite be YOU) but LEARN! You can't live for the past, but you can LEARN not to make that decision again!

First, people (sometimes females most often) are not honest with themselves. Do not claim to be able to handle certain situations, predicaments and emotionally-charged situations with logic: You WILL NOT accomplish this feat. We, as humans, are emotionally driven. Everything we do drives or invokes an emotion. Do not set yourself up for what I call an "emotional disappointment" which WILL lead to you becoming an emotional wreck.

-For example, do NOT agree to be a guys' "cutty-buddy" knowing good and d$#@ well you WANT to be his girlfriend. BY sleeping with him, you are releasing him of EVER having to really take you serious. By giving in to his/your physical needs, you are denying your (maybe more than his) emotional, spiritual, mental needs that are REQUIRED from a girlfriend. We as females CLAIM to be able to handle this, but in fact, we are REALLY saying that we are willing to settle for what PLEASES you more than what would please us. Essentially, we are putting your needs before our own, which is too self-less of an act that makes you vulnerable for being disappointed.

By being honest with yourselves, we (as humans in general) must STOP "reading between the lines" or "decoding" things people say to us. Yes, some people do speak in riddles, but for MANY and PLENTY of us, we SAY EXACTLY what we MEAN and MEAN EXACTLY what we SAY!... Thus, DO NOT or rather DON'T NOT (Yup a double negative cuz its that bad lol) be doing the following (I was QUEEN of this b&$%*%$@)

- He said that he might get around to calling me later if he isn't too busy. I know it does not sound like much, but girl, you shoulda seen HOW he said it!
- He said See you later baby! He called me baby! Yea, I know he uses that term a lot with other ladies and he has a girlfriend, but I'm different. You don't know him like I do.

..... I think you get my drift now, eh?

Take words for FACE VALUE cuz in the end, ACTIONS (Yea, s&^% that you ACTUALLY SEE, WITNESS, EXPERIENCE and can ATTEST TO are the BIG things that count!)

Lastly, I want to talk about being HONEST with those around you. Friends, family, significant ones, etc... You get what I mean..

However, I guess this blog is for people that used to be like me, the girl described in this blog. I did a lot of dumb things because I wasn't grounded in reality. I used to think when a guys said "I'm not ready for a g/f" that that MEANT "Can you change me? Are you up for the challenge?" Me, being naive and young, said 'YES' every single time.. However, taking things at FACE VALUE (say that ALTOGETHER children: FACE VAL-YOU!) can save you FACE and UNNECESSARY HEARTACHE in the long run....

Ladies and men, we got to do better....

**** I LOVE YOU ALL FOR SUPPORTING MY BLOG! Please come back and read again soon!
Be blessed! HOLLLAAAAA!*****