Letter Advice - We Aren't Compatible, but I still want him..

Good afternoon good people..

Last night, I went to Zumi.. Nice spot, but I gotta go back when I'm not tired and when I have some time to bliggity blow..

S/O to KP- my homey may have the flu.. Feel better hunny....

S/O to this thunderstorm watch going on in the Nash right now.. Dude, when it rains here, IT RAINS!.. NO WAY JOSE!

Anyway, let's get into another letter....

Dear Jen,

Love the blog. Great job. I've known you for quite a  bit and I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your level of writing, expertise, humor and candor. Anyway, I write to you because I am interested in this guy but it seems like we are incompatible. We are still in the 'getting to know you' phase after 5 months of hanging out, getting drinks or grabbing dinner. Is that normal? He seems to be a bit more reserved and I'm not shy by far, but he seems to make me shy. What does that mean? I really don't know if he is interested or not. He wants me to go out and meet people, but when I do, he always has a crass opinion or comment about any of the other guys I may have dates with. I've come to the understanding that he is not interested in me, but then he will try to flirt with me and encouraging me to flirt back with him. Please help.

Sincerely,
Confused & Not Compatible

Dear Confused & Not Compatible,

Thanks for the love and support. You have known me for awhile, but I am glad this blog is taking you a level deeper into my own insight. Refreshing, isn't it? Wow, still in the 'getting to know you' phase after 5 months? Sounds like the friend zone to me, unless this guy is socially retarded or awkward. IJS. Maybe that is normal for him, but obviously it is not normal for you based on your past or preconceived notions. Maybe you should talk to him about. Even if you are friends, you need to be able to communicate freely with him. So, ask him are you guys friends? If he responds yes, then tell him you don't understand why you two are still in the "getting to know you" phase after 5 months. If he makes you shy, then maybe you like him and are feeding into the insecurities that he may not feel the same. Sounds like he definitely sending you mixed signals. Le Sigh. Call bullshiggity and place your cards on the table. He can't suggest you go on dates, but then act super salty when you bring it up... C'mon son!!!

What do you think? Does Confused have a reason to be confused? Is he suitor sending mixed signals?

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

Letter Advice - My Boyfriend is fading away....

Good Morning....

Daily double people..... And I'm tired lol

This letter was sent to me asking for advice. With their permission, I have posted the following:

Dear Jen,

I love the blog. Love your writing style and quirky ways of keeping it real. Please stick with the blog this time. It is very refreshing and the highlight of my day. Anyway, I write to you as a 28 year old AA woman who has her stuff together. I have a career and I pay my bills on time with no assistance. That alone is simple enough, but rare to find. You know what I mean? Anyway, my boyfriend is 26 and it seems like our fire has fizzled. We have been together for about 3 years and we are content. He has not mentioned marriage, but we both agree that long term commitment is something that we both would like to work on together. However, he is still struggling to make his mark on the world professionally, if you get my drift. As of late, it seems that the romance in our union has fizzled. He kisses me and we go through the motions, but he seems distant. He seems as if his mind is elsewhere. When I called him on it, he said he had a lot on his mind and he was stressed out. He did apologize, saying he would do better. What should I do? Should I give him time? Should I give him space? Is he telling me the truth? Please help.

Thanks,
Neglected & Not Happy About It

Dear Neglected & Not Happy About It,

Thanks for showing the blog love. I appreciate it greatly.... However, after 3 years, you and your man have discussed long term commitment, but not marriage specifically. Are you worried that you have invested 3 years and you may not get that return on your investment? I ask that because you mentioned the long-term commitment talk and stated not marriage specifically piece first, before you went in to explain how the romance has fizzled. Maybe you should examine that with yourself a bit deeper.

Now, maybe your man is telling the truth. When a man is stressed out about he can provide for himself and future, that becomes his main focus, especially at his ago. He can't even begin to fathom marriage, commitment, kids, etc until he knows he can provide financially. Sometimes, a man can't feel like a man unless he is the breadwinner and provider, so why take a wife when you are not together.. A man wants to offer his best, not his subpar. Yes, give him time. Yes, give him some space. Yes, communicate this to him. Say something like "I know you are going through a lot. I'm here if you need to talk. I love you. I appreciate everything you are doing right now. I just want to let you know that I feel your stress and I really want to help. Just know that I'm here and I love you." That will speak volumes because you aren't prying, you aren't mandating a confession, you're not being accusatory or nagging..... It opens the door of communication and leaves the ball in his court.

BEST OF LUCK,
JEN

What do you think? Any words for Neglected & Not Happy About It? Was I dead on or dead wrong?

UNTIL NEXT TIME....

Food Review - McDougall's

Good Morning All!

Still recharging my dead battery.... Going home - Sleep + Partying EXTRA hard = 1 Drained Chick

Yea, Yea, I know....

Over the weekend, I did some tutoring and yesterday, I had my orientation to begin volunteering at a women's crisis center. When you get, you give. When you learn, you teach. Thus, why I am doing both.

Anyway, Sunday, I was driving around and got hungry. When I put "good food" in my GPS, a place called McDougall's came up.

When I got there, I realized that the place was a hole in the wall student wing joint. O..k..

I ordered my food and waited about 15 minutes.

OMG - THIS FOOD WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! SIMPLY PUT, A-MAY-ZA-ZING!

I got the HoneyBee sauce and the BBQ with plain fries and ranch on the side. LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY!

They have earned the Jennifer Stamp of Approval.. IJS

This is NOT a date establishment, but it is a nice place to grab food with friends. They even give away free ice cream for customers.. (How awesome is that?!)

I think they also sold beer, tenders, salads and sandwiches....

Right next door is a sushi place called Zumi's and my friend, Sharese, had previously told me about that place, so that is next on my schedule of "quick - yet fulfilling- eats"..

NEXT TOPIC IS A LETTER FROM A FOLLOWER, Relationship advice.....

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

....Recharging.... (Birthday Post)

Good Morning to all of you!!!!

Just a quick few check-ins..

Yes, I had an awesome time visiting home..

Yes, I partied hard..

YES, TODAY IS MY 26TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE!!!!

No, I did not get enough rest..

Yes, I sound just like Mama Jones or Frankie (Keyshia Cole's mom)

Yes, my hair still looks good..

Yes, my mom drove back with me..

No, I'm not doing anything remotely special for my birthday..

Yes, I am homesick..

Yes, I realize I have been slacking on posting...

Yes, I will get rest and do better..

Yes, my battery is diggity dead to the miggity max....

Yes, I got GREAT presents for my birthday....

Yes, I only wanted ONE THING for my birthday and I may not get it..

UNTIL NEXT TIME........

This is ME right now.... I need to some riggity rest before I kiggity collapse! lol

3 Necessities for A Fun-Filled Weekend

Good Morning To All Of You Out There In E-World *e-air kisses*

Well, I colored my hair.. To see pictures, you have to go to my twitter... Follow me @ImPattyWag Yup, that is my alias.. Im thinking of a twitter name change, but we shall see.. Im debating @ImPattyMelt or @JayP Hmm, Idk, but PLEASE send suggestions.....

Tomorrow, I go home to visit my Detroit and all of my family...

My Hometown ~ Yes, I'm proud!

In a previous blog, I went over some of the places I would go. Some of you who follow me on twitter or Facebook have messaged me places I should try - THANKS!!!! I will definitely try to go to those places, possible post reviews..

This post will cover the NECESSITIES for a fun-filled long weekend..

1 - Cell Phone Chargers (Wall and Car)

I don't think I need to outline why this a necessity, but for people who are having a fun-filled weekend, you must expect the unexpected. Yes, your phone is fully charged, but who knows how many calls, tweets, texts and facebooks you will get (especially if its your birthday weekend like me.. heyyyyy!!) Always, always, always.... Keep that phone charged!! Who wants to miss out on socializing because that there battery is dead???????????

Don't you just HATE it when this happens? AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS?!

Grandma says, "Oh no, you didn't Mr. Celly Cell!" lol

2 - Always pack extra outfits (Lounging and Party Wear)

Again, expect the unexpected. You never know what could happen. You could have a spill, something could not fit right, wardrobe malfunction, attires and weather can change and comfort is always the most important. Dude, channel your inner Barbie (Mattel not Nicki Minaj....) and think of her wardrobe.. She had an outfit for EVERYTHING.. So why shouldn't you?

This chick has an outfit, a back-up, an alternate and some....

3 - Makeup

Okay, sometimes we ladies love to play up our features (i.e. eyes, lips, cheekbones, etc.) with makeup. If you will be out and about all day, think neutral. You dont want to go overkill at high noon. Think neutral or eye highlights (no dark colors), neutral blush or a bronzer with a simple gloss. Mascara is a must. Stay away from smoky eyes until later in the evening. Don't cake on, but have enough makeup on to keep the shine off and make your face and features glow with excitement.

This is a BIT much for an afternoon tea with Grandma.

This is a fresh and clean look..

So, now you know what I find most important for my trip home.... But, you can feel free to use these tips for an amazing time on vacation or a Girls Weekend Getaway, maybe a night out.

What do you think?? What are your three must haves or necessities?

UNTIL NEXT TIME.........

First Date Etiquette - 4 MAJOR Rules of Adherence

Good Morning,

Today is Wednesday and I am UBER excited about going home this weekend.. Whooo hoo!

Anyway, happy belated Valentines Day to all of you out there.. Yesterday was a bit much for me. I'm single, but ironically, I had a pretty awesome Valentines Day. I got a bunch of texts and tweets wishing me a Happy Valentines Day, I made $100 using my intelligence / math skills and I went go workout.

However, when I got to the gym, a guy strolled up on me and said, "Girl, you are wayy too cute to be working out on Valentines Day."

.... Gee, thanks! >_<

This topic is in light of Spring and Summer (and all these NEW romances that are awaiting on your horizon..... ohhh kayyy?!)

Anyway, today covers first date etiquette... For guys and girls..

Since I have been on quite a few first dates, some good, some bad, and some were gut-wrenchingly terrible!!!!

Rule #1 - Be Aware of Attire and Presentation

Please make a good impression by wearing something suitable, cleaned and pressed. Nothing too clingy, too sparkly, too tight, too little, or too big. lol Please people, let's wear our right size.

Ladies watch for "over-cleave" (too much cleavage), ass cleavage :-( and painting on the makeup. No one wants to be out with an extra from UniverSoul Circus.

Men, watch for the ass cleavage *insert side eye*, grooming tactics and the controlling of bodily functions at the table. THANK YOU!




Not only is this a NO, it's an "Oh He** Naw!"



This is just nasty.. Should be illegal.. IJS..

.. which leads me to....

Rule #2 - Offensive Behavior

Ladies, you have no right to be offended about a guy using a groupon or discount of some sort when you go out. Are you paying? Um, well, HELLO then.. Shut up and enjoy being treated.... Also, ladies, texting the whole time on the date.. Can you say rude?! Muy mal, muy mal.. (Thats Spanish for 'very bad')..

Men, please do not, I repeat DO NOT talk about your ex girlfriend and her issues allllll night, especially if you are not asked. This is a first date.. Please don't unleash the crazy.... on the first date at least.. TRUST< we take note of these things and change your name to "CRAY-CRAY" or "DO NOT ANSWER" in our phone book..




JUST SAY NO takes on a WHOLE new meaning!


Yes, 'Ye, that sh** cray!

Rule # 3 Smooching

Smooching on the first date is no longer a bad thing. For me, it depends if our first date is our first meeting, or if our first date is our first romantic date, given we have known each other and were acquaintances of some sort.

I guess this is an independent thing. To each their own. However, I will say that smooching should be done in good taste. Don't wolf down a sh**load of onions, then not pop a mint/piece of gum, when your breath is humming and coming at me.. Now, this is OFFENSIVE. Then, on top of that, your lips are chapped, your biting my lips in an aggressive, non sexual and hunger-like manner... Um, stop.. Please.. I want to live without getting a blood transfusion.. Please check that breath, read for non verbal cues.. Because if you go in and Im not feeling it, I will back the he** up with a NINJA LIKE QUICKNESS!! lol

Do you need one of these when you go in for sweet lip??

Face should not look like this trying to get some sweet lip!!

Rule #4 - Eating Styles

Please, please, please take heed to this one....! LAWDY, LAWDY, MY LAWDY!!!!

Do not slurp ANYTHING! Do not lick your plate. Do not scrape your silverware. Do not take with a mouthful of food. Do you lick your fingers and make that popping noise. As a matter of fact, all that hoody hood stuff you do when nobody is looking, just don't.. You are in public.. with somebody who you are trying to learn more about. Don't ruin your chances before they even have a decent chance..

Please don't be "that person".. It's embarrassing.

Well, I think that covers 4 major rules. This list is not all inclusive.... Just 4 things which I wanted to highlight..

What do you think? What are your rules on a date? Have you done anything of these? Are these too blatant? Should people have common sense that this is a NO NO?

Until next time..........

Moment of Silence

Good Morning..

Sorry for my brief hiatus.. I got my eyes dilated and I couldn't friggin' see at ALL yesterday..

PLEASE.... Let's get a moment of silence out of RESPECT for the late, great. multi-talented, multi-faceted, uber-beautful and stunning- Whitney Houston..

She is so stunning.... Receiving her Grammy at the 30th celebration, I think..

Out of respect, I want to say that Whitney was the epitome of black soul-stirring music. Music that crawls inside you and is welcomed to stay awhile. Comfort music. Feel good music. Mad as he** music.

Shoop Shoop. You Give Good Love. I will Always Love You. Greatest Love of All. Saving All My Love. How Will I Know. I Want to Dance with Somebody. Why Does It Hurt So Bad. I have Nothing. Run to You. I'm Every Woman. Your Love is My Love. Heartbreak Hotel. I Look To You. I Didnt Know My Own Strength. Who Could Imagine a King. I Believe In You and Me. It's Not Right But Its Ok. Gosh, I really could go on and on.. And On and On.

She is so elegant and regal.

We have lost an Icon. A mother. A sista. A wife. An activist. A sister in Christ.

I remember MANY a Saturday morning my dad (RIP) or my mom would get up and be cleaning or cooking to some Whitney. My mom would alternate between Whitney and Anita Baker before dragging us to the skating rink with her..

Rest In Peace, Ms. Whitney Houston. I hope you see my father and grandmothers on the other side. They ALL loved you.

Make Me Over, Make Me Nice.... Hair Edition

Good Morning to all of you's out there.. lol

I gave the site a much NEEDED makeover - Just something new for the year '1-2.. :-)

Since the site and blog got a much needed makeover, I'm thinking of doing a makeover on myself..

Going to darken my hair color.. That should be hot.. I want a jet black hair color with barrel curls or either bone straight.. That will definitely turn heads.. Me thinkey and Me likey..

Also, S/O to the person that told me "I command a room when I walk into it...." Guess I'm better than a Nene Leakes - PLUNK! :-)

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of people get a bit "blah" around this time and are in need of a makeover, so let's delve into that today.

Hair

If you have long, blah-zay tresses, try evening the ends out all around for a blunt, more crisp look. Or, if you are feeling gutsy, try going to the shop and getting some layers put in. Layers are a surefire way to add more bounce and fullness to hair. It also brings out facial features.

Like this kind:

Best picture of layers I have seen.... IJS

If you have short hair, try a cute pompadour style. Something like Rhianna is known for or maybe the Chrissy.. Chrisette Michele has awesome pompadour styles.. Like this one:

I love her - She is so underrated!!

Or you could be like me and go natural. Yes, I am natural and have been for over a year.. I'm not quite up to twisting yet, but I am slowly working my way. For the natural gals, Jill Scott is a trendsetter. Try this style:

Jill Scott rocks - Pure awesomeness!

 That's just some ways to make your hair over.... Tomorrow, we will cover makeup tips..... A full-on instructional for Spring 2012..

What do you think? What advice do you have to share? What works for you? What has not worked for you?

Stay tuned folks... Until next time....

Get Ahead of the FASHION Game: Spring 2012

Good Morning....

Since Spring is right around the corner (at least it is here down in the South), I decided to take a detour off Lover's Lane and give out some fashionable tips for the upcoming 2012 Spring Session..

Just wanting to help out some people.. Or offer a little insight..

Everybody knows that fashion is open to interpretation, but this is just my .08 cents..

UPCOMING FASHION TRENDS

Color Blocking

Yes, you read that right. Color blocking has made its' way to the side of Fashion Do's. This means Bold, Colorful and flowing pieces. Dare to be different. Try sticking to two or three colors, so you won't be a complete Crayola Box. I said, dare to be different, not dare to be dumb.. lol

Anoraks (or Jumpers)

These are those one piece type romper sets. Whether the sports, capris or full length slacks, all three types are sporty enough to be dressed down with a nice Gladiator Sandal for a casual stroll out with that special someone you just met and can be dressed up with a stiletto and lots of glam and gloss to give off that special "it" factor when out for a Girls Night Out.

Prints (Animal or Futuristic)

Animal or futuristic prints are definitely a risk worth taking. Now, when I say "print", I don't mean "head and toe" adornment of every piece of leopard, cougar, zebra, etc.. that you own. A nice blouse with the print and solid bottom. Or switch it up: A solid color outfit with print shoes and accessories to tie it all in together.

Ladies, please remember that everything in Lycra MAY NOT be your friend, print or not..

Citrus Colors

Citrus colors are no longer a thing of the 60s and 70s :-) Try adding that splash of color to your wardrobe once Spring hits. I'm sure it works wonders on flattering your figure, aura and mood after such a gloomy (yet mild) winter. A nice tangerine blazer, or a nice lemon camisole under your blazer or cardigan would liven up the wardrobe.

I suggest shoes and accessories for those of us who choose not to be decked out in Tangerine Gear and want to take "baby steps". For those of us who are bold enough to take the plunge, KUDOS!

Pinks (And All Pastels)

My fave!! I mean, who doesn't love pink?! It comes in all shades and tones. It can be dressed up and down. As a matter of fact, I have a pink dress that I can NOT wait to wear when the weather breaks.. Anyway, I digress.. Pink is a universally loved color that has transitioned over to a more neutral color, like brown, gray and black.. This color pairs well with MOST combos.

Pastels are any woman's (and man's) best friend. A nice lilac or lavender button-up with khakis or slacks can take any man OVER the top sexy in my book. Blouses, polo's, cardigan sweaters, blazers.... You really have to be crazy to GO WRONG when choosing pastels in an outfit pairing..

Peplum

Peplum is a new trend to me. This is the dainty flaring out on a suit, skirt, blazer or blouse. They extend it about an inch or two. It definitely adds a bit of finesse, elegance, class and professionalism to ANY outfit. Try it out.

Well, that is my take on the Spring 2012 fashion trends to come.... You have been told so there are no exceptions to being lost in the shuffle and coming out of the house in a CLEAR CUT Fashion Don't..

As always, thanks for stopping by....

What do you think? Did I leave out a trend? What fashion trend excites you? Any fashion trends you wish to see come back? Any trends you plan to avoid altogether?

2012's Sexy

Good Morning....

Well, as I write, we are at 1,099 views for the page... This growth is AMAZING and honestly, I am so thankful to each and every one of you who tune in daily to the blog.... Now, how to increase traffic to the site, let me get on my "ra-search" lol

Last night of The Game.. ehh, that dang Tasha Mack is being OUTDONE (yes, I said outdone by Jason Pitts) His freestyles were hilar!!!!

"J.Pity. All the ladies feel me. I'm so witty. I brought a ring to the city...." #ICantNOTHandleHim

Anyway, I will lay off The Game and get to the topic at hand.. I got a text request to write about what's SEXY in 2012.... Ooooohh, me likey, me likey... *e-clap*

Well, you know how much I like clear cut understandings and universal meanings, so let's define sexy, shall we?

Let's ask ourselves - What Is Sexy? Part 1
Sexy - Is the confidence and self-esteem exuding from one; does not have any direct correlation with one's physical attractiveness; can be defined as one's swag; the intangible certain 'something' that draws you to be attracted to somebody else..

So, now that we have defined sexy.. Let's talk about what is sexy..

Let's ask ourselves - What is Sexy? Part 2

For a woman, sexy is wearing clothes that fit, flatter and compliment her shape and femininity. It's wearing a nice scent that doesn't overpower the office and offends somebody's allergies. Sexy can be working out in the morning. Sexy can be a confident smile. Sexy is internal and shines through the external. Sexy is embedded in your DNA and sometimes it is a learned behavior.

For a man, sexy can be a nice fitted suit. Sexy can be confidence in your career. Sexy is focus, being loyal and honesty. Sexy is being ready for life. Sexy is not half-naked. Sexy is a state of mind. For the men I know, sexy is an afterthought, because it is second nature.

Generally speaking, sexy is showing off what works for you and makes you feel good. Sexy is not trashy. Sexy is not crass. Sexy is classy. Sexy is elegant. Sexy is humility. Sexy is endearing. Sexy is magnetic. Sexy is doing you: Nobody can show you how to do you but you.

Let's ask ourselves - What is NOT Sexy

Mmm, it's a lot of DIRECT examples of what is not sexy....

- Arrogant
- Cheap
- Body Odor/ Poor Hygiene
-NO Sense of Humor
- No Financial Independence (no plan/route either)
- No Goals
- No Purpose
- Lack of Focus
- Afraid of Living Life / Taking Chances
- Lack of 'Emo'
- Insensitive
- Bad Weave
- Being physically unfit
- Being a skank

Well, I hope that we are all clear on what is and what is not sexy....

Let's ask ourselves - How can I be sexy?

Learn more about yourself.. Learn what makes you happy and what doesn't. If it helps, make a list of Pros and Cons to define your happiness if you are a bit confused or overwhelmed. Make sure that you are being honest and start the process of finding your "happy." You can't be sexy unless you are TRULY happy with yourself. Even if you are not satisfied, be content with the progress and make a goal that you can strive for.

Happiness + Confidence + Humility - Ego = SEXY

What do you think? What is sexy? How do you define sexy? How do you personify sexy? Can sexy be a learned behavior?

Until next time bookies and bookettes....

"Unforgivable": My Opinion of Emily B

Good Morning Again!

So, I hope you enjoyed my review of Love & Hip Hop: Reality Check, but what I REALLY want to talk about is Emily B.

Emily's life folded out in front of the cameras both seasons. From her claiming to be Fab's girlfriend for the past 8 years, living with him, having a son with him (who was misbehaving in that studio during the family photo shoot-my mom would have karate chopped me in the throat if that was me-IJS..) and then to this season kicking off, with her leaving him, meeting one of his groupies that gave it up to Fab, moving out and then dating him again.. >_<

I really feel that a lot of women could relate to Emily's story, whether it portrayed their own relationship or that of a friend. Emily was claiming to hold him down as his family, accepting the disrespect and mistreatment and in return, her self-esteem and ego were at an al-time low.

My question that I pose today is "Can a man ever do a woman soooo wrong that it's truly unforgivable???"

Mmmm, that's a good one! *e-pats self on the back*

Honestly, I think whether we want to admit it or not, we all have played the role of "Emily B." in one form or another. Emily was being too loyal to a guy.. (check out this blog on LOYALTY if you missed it: http://realrawuncuttruth.blogspot.com/2012/01/too-loyal.html Obviously, at one time, Fab was the guy who didn't deserve it (and probably still doesn't, but hey, I don't know dude or her..)

I really feel that Emily is at a level of comfort in her life where Fab has always been there. Maybe she is afraid of the unknown. Maybe she is afraid of starting over.

Honestly, she was content with her and Fab's arrangement for 8 years, EIGHT YEARS, 8 FRIGGIN' YEARS UNTIL she saw the dram-edy play out on national television. It's one thing to play the fool in the private of your own home, but it's another to be played for a dayum fool on national television. To quote Milli Vanilli "Girl, you know it's true....!"

Honestly, Emily should be thinking of her kids right now. Setting a good example for her teenage daughter, who will begin to date soon and think its "ok" for a guy to mistreat her and be unfaithful and her son, who will begin to treat women as discards..

I do commend Emily for taking a stand and moving out on her own. KUDOS CHICA!!!! Also, I want to warn Emily that every chick that smiles in your face is not your friend (ahem.. Not to throw shade, but that Winter chick (Fab's ex-ASSistant) seemed that she was handing Fab more ass than actual assistance.. Just my opinion of how I received the edits of their segment.

I also commend Emily for not trying to be friends with Kimbella. Honestly, could you be friends with a chick who slayed your boyfriend while you were pregnant?!? I commend her for being cordial, but saying she was not open to friendship because she had enough friends. I mean, maybe that is immature, but I think it was a good step in Emily actually asserting her backbone, whether her decision was perceived as right or wrong.

I'm not so sure that Emily should have started dating Fab right away. I mean, Kudos, that he came out to her fashion show and supported her from the front row. That was awesome, Stunna shades and all, but honestly, just because you can admit to infidelities after the fact that they were blown up in my face on NATIONAL television, doesn't excuse the fact that it was an infidelity.

Since we are on that, I would have been MORE impressed with Fab admitting to his infidelities without somebody opening his closet release his skeletons. Nobody should have to tell you something about your man except your man.. Dishonesty and lies of omission are "unforgivable" because it TRULY is an insult of a woman's intelligence. Don't be so underhanded - be forthcoming and put your cards on the table, okay?!

In this case, I agree with what Emily said on the first episode of Season 2: "A man is honest. A man is exclusive. A man is committed. A man is loyal. And until I can have that, I'm single." *snaps fingers* That was music to my ears because I believe in that wholeheartedly and would like to add my own tidbit "A man who says he loves me is honest. He has no issue proclaiming his love for me. He is soft enough to to cater being in love and handle love's demand, yet he has masculine enough to protect me in all ways. He is loyal, he is trustworthy, he is God-fearing and he is not a follower. He doesn't complete me because I am already whole, however, he is the perfect compliment."

In the words of Forrest Gump: "And that's all I have to say about that...."

UNTIL NEXT TIME, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.....

What is your opinion? Do you agree with Emily's approach? What is Fab's side of the story in yur mind? What is unforgivable to you?

REVIEW: Love & Hip-Hop - Reality Check

Good Morning....

Today I am a tad bit under the weather.... Curse these ovarian cysts.... *e-shakes fist*

I'm an avid watcher of Love & Hip Hop. Yes, I know the show is bad. Yes, I know it depicts African American women in a bad light to the public. But, I still like it. I don't act like that and nobody can give me a title to something I am not owning.. Can't label somebody who marches to the beat of their own drum, but I digress..

I GOTTA address some of my WTF?!?! moments from the Reality Check/Reunion show for L&HH.

1 - Somaya calling Mona a bi**h was THEE funniest thing I had seen in QUITE some time.. Not going to lie.. Pretty hilar.. I laughed because she got feisty, then backed down and apologized. You said it - Own it!! lol

2 - Chrissy going all "GodFather" on Yandy in her Green Room interview.. lol "Bow down?!" Really, REALLY Chrissy?!?! Tell us how you REALLY feel lol. Idk how she can say that with a straight face..

3 - Olivia being "upset" because she felt the show portrayed her as pathetic. *gasps* That's because you ARE pathetic lol lol Couldn't help it.. But, Olivia expressing emotion on her face makes me feel and makes her look like she just got snatched through a closed door.. IJS..

4 - Yandy being interviewed by Mona and Yandy said she didnt quit because "they were paying her.. " -__- This chick will DO ANYTHING For a check.... Even make an ass of herself and get fired..

5 - Jim Jones is too real for reality TV. I will repeat: Jim Jones is too real for reality TV. Again, JIM JONES IS TOO REAL FOR REALITY TV. I shouldn't have to go into detail, but everytime he is on TV, he shows us ANOTHER reason why he is too real to be directed....

6 - Kimbella admitted that Juelz has been unfaithful to her. Kimbella was the other woman when Fab was being unfaithful to Emily B. Pot, meet Kettle. lol lol Chat amongst yourselves, Pot & Kettle....

*BONUS* WHY THE *bleep* are the moving the show to Atlanta?!?!? mmmm... k..

Anyhow, on to the meat and potatoes of today's post.. "Unforgivable": My Opinion of Emily B, which will be posted later today.. Stay tuned!!

"I Cry For You" - Why SOME Dudes Can't Get Down With The Emo Movement

Good Morning Everybody!

S/O to all of you out there in e-world that have been faithful to the site, offering topic/blog suggestions; you have been instrumental in helping us reach OVER 1,000 views.. Whoop-Whoop!

Today's topic came to me yesterday when I texting a friend of mine who, at one time, was "more than a friend" to me.. ;-) (I would shout them out, but I'm sure he don't want his "bid-ness" all on this here "inna-nets".. lol Anyway, we were talking about why we fizzled and I said, "Truth moment? You don't like to display feelings or get emo. Why? Do you not like being vulnerable or do you feel that is a female trait?"

At that very moment, a light bulb went off in my head: "Why are SOME (not all!!) dudes afraid to get emo? Why do som avoid it like the pliggity plague?" IDK, but let's dissect this a BIT further..

First off, what is EMO?

EMO is short (or text lingo) for emotional. Basically, anything mushy, sappy, romantic or anything with feelings attached that allows one to be vulnerable and lower that wall of protection is sure to be in the realm of "emo"-osity. I, for one, love an emo dude. Granted, he can't be crying 24/8 lol but, a dose of feelings, emotions and vulnerability is realllyyy sexy.. Thats IMO (IMO is In my Opinion; IMO is not related to or to be confused with EMO)

EMO is a sliding scale of tender, lovey-dovey, wovey emotions. With category one being as small as a dude holding a chick's hand, looking her in the eyes with deep sincerity and spouting mush from the heart all the way to a category 5, which is all out bawling, snot rolling, on your knees singing a Robin Thicke ballad out of tune... The visual makes me shudder lol

Second, what situations is it ok for EMO to be displayed?

We all know that there is a time and place for everything. Crying and carrying on (the category 5 should not be displayed in public, if at all IMO, but I have seen it...), as well as certain PDA should be kept for behind closed doors (another topic for another day...)

EMO is ok and welcomed to be displayed at random. That's the the best way to show its' true sincerity, innocence and genuine honesty.... When EMO is displayed at random for your girl, when you bare your soul and she is not expecting that, IT REALLYS BLOWS OUR MINDS!! No, really.

It's ok to display EMO when you are being sincere, when you and your S/O are fighting and you gotta concede defeat: let that wall down and wave your white EMO flag.

Take Drake for example. His emo (which he wears on his sleeve) can be categorized as a strong category 2, maybe a weak category 3 on a bad day.

Last, why do (some, not all!) guys avoid EMO at all costs?

Last night, I was told that EMO was avoided and not a viable option because it makes him feel vulnerable and that is not a good feeling. Today, when I asked another guy how being EMO was not seen as a "cool" and "regular" thing for guys, I was told that "emotions make you cry sometimes and crying can be viewed as a weakness."

So, I take this "real" data and I am making an educated inferential conclusion that asks: Can ish get TOO REAL for guys at times and emotions are something that they can not control, so they just avoid them?

Avoid what you can't control? Or a cop-out? You can make that decision. I'm just showing both sides..

Personally, if a guy gets emo and shows his vulnerability, it shows me that he cares enough to trust me wholeheartedly to do the right thing with his heart. Plus, actions speak louder than any words. A guy can say he loves you but if he is unwilling (or afraid) to take a chance on me like I am taking a chance on him in the vulnerability department, I would have to question his feelings for me.

Then again, some men vie to be like their father and if Dad is hard as nails, then I am sure he groomed his sons to be the same as well. "Crying is for girls and sissies" is something I remember my brother's dad always saying to my oldest brother.

Also, if Daddy was not around, your guy could have a "Daddy Issue" complex.... Which is a whole 'nother blog topic discussion in itself....

Like I say, I love you, but I will always love me more.. I love the brothers, but sometimes, you don't have to be so hard..

What do you think? Was I right? Was I too hard on the guys? Are the guys holding themselves to unbelievable standards? Is EMO bad for men to display?

UNTIL NEXT TIME, LOVES....

Self-Improvement - 5 Goals

Good Morning All!

Ok, last night Zumba wore me out like my mom used to wear me out when I had been misbehaving lol.. My calves ache, my butt hurts and my legs are tired.. I should have been warned that Zumba was A** Shaking 101.. And they take that ish serious!! Zumba is not for any amateurs.. And might I add, the "heaux" population is definitely winning in this class because they know all the risque moves lol lol.. Couldn't help it.. Me on the other hand, I don't think I have ever popped my "razz-ma-tazz" so much.. lol

But, anywho, Welcome Friday-I missed you babycakes..

Since I feel so refreshed this morning, I think I want to tackle a Top 10 List, which will cover the things that I am working on.. Not listed in any particular order..


1 - Fitness/Health

I have taken to light jogging on Saturday mornings.. Around my apartment there are a bunch of hills and I commit to jogging up and down, up and down and up and down every Saturday morning.. Not that my booty needs to sit ANY more higher than it already is, but I feel so refreshed and good after I do this.. Then, I come in and do sit-ups, push-ups, squats, wall push-ups and 6 inches..

2 - Growing in Christ

Just because I have a really close, one-on-one type relationship with God does NOT mean that I don't want to grow more. One can NEVER stop growing in Christ.. I always want to GROW in Christ..

3 - Savings

I would like to save more money. Yes, I save almost 10% of my income, but you can never save too much.....

4 - Me

Yes, even though I may seem like I have it allll together, there is always room for improvement. I'm working on bettering myself, my career, my goals, which is great for me to do at this point since I am single. I don't have to worry about thinking as a couple. I can be as selfish as I want to at this point, which is perfectly fine.

5 - Self-Expression

Yes, this could have been filed under the previous number, but honestly, I feel that I could do a better job at expressing myself better. That means communication, how I allow others to view me, how I define myself, what I will and will not tolerate.. Yup, all of that. Plus, I am one of a kind and how I choose to express my individuality is totally up to me and me alone.

These are 5 goals I've set for myself for improvement. I want to strive to be a better me everday.. You should too =)

What are 5 goals that you have set for yourself this year? Do lists help/hinder your progress? What do you think? Do you like resolutions?

UNTIL NEXT TIME....

Are You Good Dating Material?

Good Morning All

This week has been pretty busy.. And I no appreciate it very much..

I have been working out, eating right, and getting fit and trim.... I mean, my birthday is 21 days from yesterday lol On the 22nd.. I so excited.. Hip Hip Hooray..

Please feel free to let me know if you want to take me out when I come to Detroit (ha-ha) and also please feel free to suggest new things I should try..

For now, I think I want to go to MGM and enjoy a corned beef sammitch, go to Centaur for those world-class martinis.. I'd love to make it out to Royal Oak to hit that wine bar up called "Vino-something..." I also want to go to my friends' party on Friday, I want to go to OHOP (The Original House of Pancakes).... I also want to go to this sushi bar in Troy by my old job.. Um, I also want to find time to hang out, as well as rest.... And of course, Church on Sunday Morn!

But, yea, that should be doable between Friday afternoon-Sunday night, right?? Me thinky.. Me thinky..

Anyway, today's topic is on "dateability", which I'm certain may not be a real word, but let's talk about what makes ANYONE (man or woman) "dateable". Of course, being attractive is a given, but that is up to personal opinion. What I may think is "poo-butt ugly", you may consider as being "Denzel Worthy" *blank stare*

1 - PERSONALITY

If somebody has a really nice, magnetic personality that draws people in like a moth to a flame (which is a saying that I never got), then you will attract many people who want to know the person behind the personality. Personalities (real ones) can and should be the windows' to somebodys soul. Like, a great personality can make a not so attractive person seem a bit more cute than what they are, but a bad personality can make a very attractive person seem very unappealing to you. It's like putting a steak on a trash can lid and attempting to serve that to guests.. Really.. It is..

2 - CONFIDENCE

This kind of ties hand in hand with PERSONALITY. Confidence is another booster that gets people "brownie points".. If you are confident in yourself, your style of dress and are genuine in that confidence, it will shine through. And when true confidence shines through, it brings out the most radiant glow in people.... Which is undeniably sexy or as a made-up word I used to use in undergrad.. it's so "skin-tee".. lol

3 - INTELLIGENCE/DRIVE

Intelligence is something that attractive by default, at least it is in my book anyway. When you are intelligent and driven, it is one of THEE most "skin-tee-est" things a man can do in my eyes. Don't worry, women can do it too. Case in Point: Last week, I was talking to some guy and he asked me what brought me to Tennessee. When I told him I had an M.A. in Social Justice, emphasizing on Non Profit Administration, I wanted to come to Tennessee because it was the Volunteer State. He was kind of floored by my answer and his became kind of glow-y a bit lol.. Yes, yes, it is a VERY simple equation.. Intelligence + Drive + Sass - Ego + = ATTRACTIVE.. Study now; there will be a test later lol

4 - HUMILITY

This is a quality that a lot of people do not really understand its' value. Humility is one of the most endearing, sensual and sexy qualities a man can have in my book. Humility is knowing that with great success, great responsibility is a given. Humility is knowing that life has its' ups and downs and not looking down those who are still on that track headed for success. Don't be so confident that you are egotistical; it's always sexy to show your vulnerable side and true humility doesn't need boast, brag or have ego trips. Humility is knowing that success is a blessing and accepting that you did not get to where you at on your own. PREACH SISTA GIRL!! *waves funeral home fan at self*

5 - RESPECT/CHIVALRY

For men, this is being chivalrous, which is pulling out a lady's chair, opening her car door, opening the doors to restaurants, walking on the outside of the street, holding her hand, etc.. To quote Princess Jazmine from Disney's Aladdin: "It's all so magical!" LOL Im laughing but I am serious. Chivalry is NOT dead. Chivalry IS NOT dead. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD. I had to say it three times, so you guys would really believe me. Chivalry is the type of thing that goes a lo-o-o-o-ong way with a lady. That's some honesty for you.

For women, showing respect to a gentleman is a requirement. Even if he is being a dooty head, which in case, you should have known he was a dooty before you agreed to go out with ol' Booty Face lol. Yes, dooty and booty are synonymous and they make me laugh for no reason in particular lol lol. But, saying "PLEASE" and "Thank You" is NOT doing too much. It's not assumed and it's something really small that goes a long way with anybody, but especially on a date.

Well, that's my take on this topic..

What do you think? Do you excel at these 5 points? Is there any areas you feel you need to work on? Are you good dating material or are you "damaged goods"?

Until next time..... That's all for now!!