Good Morning Everyone!
I really thought I would be able to post yesterday but the day really got away from me.. I had an eye appointment and made another appointment in two weeks to go back to be dilated.. Uh-oh!
.... I afraid.. I real afraid..
Anyhow, today's topic is something that has been on my mind for QUITE some time.. It's catered to the ladies, since it is what I experience it as, but I am sure my male followers will have some insight or agree with a few points in this post..
People, why do we feel the need to compete with one another??? Honestly, as black people we should be able to band together and not compete with one another on EVERYTHING..
Last Thursday, I went to a Kappa After Work Engagement called Kocktails and Kufflinks *insert side eye for their love of K* Since I don't know many people, I went by myself since I was told at the last minute and decided to venture out at the last minute.
When I got there, it took me about 15 minutes to drive around looking for parking that wouldn't rip me off. I finally found a garage that was connected to the hotel that was reasonable. Since it has started raining, I was glad that I had an umbrella and this place connected to the hotel.
Anyhow, when I got off of the elevator, there were no signs pointing to the bridge or walkway and I saw an older white man who asked me was I lost. I nodded my head and asked could he point me in the direction of the Renaissance Hotel. He pointed and said, "Go through those double glass doors, walk up the four stairs and turn to your right and you're in the lounge." I said thanks and hurried off.
Once I walked in, I was not greeted by anyone and didn't see any signs, so I walked past a few empty tables and saw two ladies sitting by themselves. I went up to them and asked "Are you guys here for the Kappa social? Or is that contained to the bar area?" One of them turned to me and smiled and mouthed a "hi." But the other one, smdh, she looked at me down up and down again, flipped her dry weave and said, "Yes, you can sit anywhere, but these seats are for my boo's when I find 'em." Then, she gave me a fake smile.
I mean, I wasn't trying to sit with her, so I said a quick "Thanks" and kept it moving right on to the bar.
What made the girl, whom I shall refer to as "Dry Weave" or "DW" for short, be so curt and short with me??
Competition!!
She saw me as competition, when I saw her as an ally, which is a situation I always seem to find myself in.
Honestly, no, she was not my friend, I had never seen either of them a day in my life, but you don't see men (real men anyway) act that way with each other.
Even though she did not know me, as a woman, she could have at least been cordial. The jealousy and competitive nature was written all across DW's face. She stated that she was "saving seats for her potential boo's!!"
C'MON SON!
I don't understand why we as black women view each other as competition in unnecessary situations like the one I found myself to be in. If I am dressed cute, giving another chick a compliment does NOTHING to take away from my fly-osity.. It's a sign of maturity and being secure in which I can acknowledge somebody else for doing, wearing or saying something that is "alright with me." I "gives" props when props are in order to be given. It's a sign of immaturity and insecurity in which you can not give a simple compliment that is genuine.
If the roles were reversed, and I was there with my friend and a friendly-looking girl came up to us asking questions, I would have asked questions, like are you new to town? Did you come alone? Something to effect to show I was trying to be friendly and warm, extending an olive branch and being nice to somebody you don't know. If she would have reciprocated my niceness, I would have offered her a seat or offered to relocate to the bar with her just to kick back and people watch. IDK what to say, maybe I have an outgoing personality (maybe?!), but I do have a warm, inviting aura and I am a nice person. I like to help out whenever I can and I am naturally friendly until I have reason to not be friendly. I'm a social person and I like to make sure people are having fun.
If she would have offered me a seat, it definitely would have been begrudgingly and I would not have taken it, because no one wants to feel like a charity case. And charity case, I am not! lol Why are girls not nice to each other? Why are guys more nice to guys or girls? Crabs in a barrel.... I tell ya..
I mean, I can't see a guy sitting there with his other guy friend and another guy coming up to him asking was this the venue and the guy being all *insert deep dumb dude voice* "yea, but don't sit here because you're flyer than me and I don't want these freaks to find out....ha ha ha ha" lol lol Sorry, but thats how some guys talk..
To let you know how my night went, I ended up sitting at the bar, meeting 4 Alphas, whom were really cool and we chatted it up all night and casually kicked it, while DW and her sidekick sat on the outskirts of the event being viewed as outcasts and were avoided by the men all night.. I win!! Boo-fricking-hoo.. That's Karma boo-boo! *PLUNK*
What do you think? Am I wrong to view every woman as my ally? Is better for women to compete? Are all men this way too?
Until next time, folks....!
January 31, 2012
January 27, 2012
Ultimatums: Is you is or is you ain't?
Good Morning Everybody!
Yesterday, I took a day off.. I felt it was needed, however, I got a lot of emails and texts asking me where my daily blog was. Sorry guys.. I will do better.. Please know and trust that I will slack off like I previously did.
Anyway, I got a blog topic request the other day that I have been thinking about. I'm really excited to give my opinion on it and I appreciate the love and support being shown that people want to read what I have to say on certain topics..
The topic is THE ULTIMATUM, more specifically, when women force marriage proposals out of their men.. mm hmm, basically pulling a "Chrissy" out of that a** and buckling down your Jim Jones....
What is the ultimatum, and in this case, pulling a "Chrissy"?
For those that have been living under a rock, that ultimatum is "give me this or I'm leaving" type attitude or resolve to a disagreement in a relationship, in this situation.
I've never had to give the ultimatum because honestly if I can't get my significant other to at least meet me halfway, then ADIOS hombre. I may love you, but I love me wayy more. I've heard of women giving THE ULTIMATUM for several reasons which include the following, but are not limited to these areas: Years spent together, relationship has stalled, would like a higher, more specific type of commitment, would like kids with this person, feels unfulfilled/bored with themselves or their accomplishments. That's just IMO. Again, that's just IMO. I could be wrong.
Pulling a "Chissy" is a phrase I have coined. Yup, that's all me, boo-boo. If you have ever seen Love & Hip-Hop on Vh1, then you know EXACTLY what I mean!! If you do not watch that tv show, I will explain a bit further. Pulling a "Chrissy" is the ultimate wench/coat tail rider move in my eyes. You can kick, scratch, bi**h, nag and moan in your relationship for the type of commitment you feel is needed or entitled to you at this point. You give reasons on top of reasons on top of explanations of why what you want is best for all parties involved. At one point, you start acting out for attention, i.e. fighting, being standoff-ish, over protective of friendships, material things, getting up in arms and defensive about situations that don't even concern you. You're crying all the time, feeling sad, until you realize you have to play that "trump" card: You drop the bomb and say "I need time to reevaluate us. I'm not happy."
Honestly, maybe I am stretching it, because I actually like Chrissy's character and I feel for her, but I really feel that she could have communicated better. It was NEVER what she wanted in the end, it was her way of approaching the issue to find her resolve, which a selfish at times. For instance, it was never an issue that she felt she deserved some type of commitment from Jim Jones, but it was the way in which it was approached. The Mom issue, the manager issue, the Kimbella (misdirected anger) issue by way of Emily B. (which I feel is a whole 'nother TWO blogs; one for Em and one for Chrissy's misdirected anger or frustration) and a whole other bunch of thangs.
I said it before and I will say it again: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I repeat: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I am tired of women saying, "Well, if we were [married/together/in a relationship/etc], this is how we would act anyway. I mean, it's kinda like the same thing, just without being [married/together/in a relationship/etc].
No, Dumbelina!!!! If it was the same thing, what you are doing would be the same word or a synonym for what you would like to be doing. smh..
Honestly, we have all been there one time or another.. Where we have wanted something so bad.. But, sometimes we as human beings, will hold to the very same things that God himself is trying to rid us of, but we are too ignorant or blind to realize how toxic and detrimental "our wants" can be to us. Mmm, that's deep.. But real..
If a guy wants to be with you (or if a girl wants to be with you), there is nothing and no one that can stop them from doing so, besides God himself. If that attraction or love is so strong (like Jim professed his to be for Chrissy), what was the real deal Holyfield for him being just her boyfriend for 8 years?? I mean, honestly, if she holds you down like says you do, why wouldn't you put a ring on it? All jokes aside, you're not on the team until you have a ring. So, for Chrissy, to hold him down with such fevered allegiance is not ridiculous, but it is a risky investment of her life and time. Time waits for no (wo)man.
In summation, if you are at the point of issuing your significant other an ultimatum, then you need to keep it moving and drop them. Because obviously, they are not at the level you are on in terms of commitment.
What do you think? Have you ever issued ultimatums to anyone in your life? If so, how did it go? If not, why not? Do you feel ultimatums are a move of desperation?
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!
Yesterday, I took a day off.. I felt it was needed, however, I got a lot of emails and texts asking me where my daily blog was. Sorry guys.. I will do better.. Please know and trust that I will slack off like I previously did.
Anyway, I got a blog topic request the other day that I have been thinking about. I'm really excited to give my opinion on it and I appreciate the love and support being shown that people want to read what I have to say on certain topics..
The topic is THE ULTIMATUM, more specifically, when women force marriage proposals out of their men.. mm hmm, basically pulling a "Chrissy" out of that a** and buckling down your Jim Jones....
What is the ultimatum, and in this case, pulling a "Chrissy"?
For those that have been living under a rock, that ultimatum is "give me this or I'm leaving" type attitude or resolve to a disagreement in a relationship, in this situation.
I've never had to give the ultimatum because honestly if I can't get my significant other to at least meet me halfway, then ADIOS hombre. I may love you, but I love me wayy more. I've heard of women giving THE ULTIMATUM for several reasons which include the following, but are not limited to these areas: Years spent together, relationship has stalled, would like a higher, more specific type of commitment, would like kids with this person, feels unfulfilled/bored with themselves or their accomplishments. That's just IMO. Again, that's just IMO. I could be wrong.
Pulling a "Chissy" is a phrase I have coined. Yup, that's all me, boo-boo. If you have ever seen Love & Hip-Hop on Vh1, then you know EXACTLY what I mean!! If you do not watch that tv show, I will explain a bit further. Pulling a "Chrissy" is the ultimate wench/coat tail rider move in my eyes. You can kick, scratch, bi**h, nag and moan in your relationship for the type of commitment you feel is needed or entitled to you at this point. You give reasons on top of reasons on top of explanations of why what you want is best for all parties involved. At one point, you start acting out for attention, i.e. fighting, being standoff-ish, over protective of friendships, material things, getting up in arms and defensive about situations that don't even concern you. You're crying all the time, feeling sad, until you realize you have to play that "trump" card: You drop the bomb and say "I need time to reevaluate us. I'm not happy."
Honestly, maybe I am stretching it, because I actually like Chrissy's character and I feel for her, but I really feel that she could have communicated better. It was NEVER what she wanted in the end, it was her way of approaching the issue to find her resolve, which a selfish at times. For instance, it was never an issue that she felt she deserved some type of commitment from Jim Jones, but it was the way in which it was approached. The Mom issue, the manager issue, the Kimbella (misdirected anger) issue by way of Emily B. (which I feel is a whole 'nother TWO blogs; one for Em and one for Chrissy's misdirected anger or frustration) and a whole other bunch of thangs.
I said it before and I will say it again: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I repeat: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I am tired of women saying, "Well, if we were [married/together/in a relationship/etc], this is how we would act anyway. I mean, it's kinda like the same thing, just without being [married/together/in a relationship/etc].
No, Dumbelina!!!! If it was the same thing, what you are doing would be the same word or a synonym for what you would like to be doing. smh..
Honestly, we have all been there one time or another.. Where we have wanted something so bad.. But, sometimes we as human beings, will hold to the very same things that God himself is trying to rid us of, but we are too ignorant or blind to realize how toxic and detrimental "our wants" can be to us. Mmm, that's deep.. But real..
If a guy wants to be with you (or if a girl wants to be with you), there is nothing and no one that can stop them from doing so, besides God himself. If that attraction or love is so strong (like Jim professed his to be for Chrissy), what was the real deal Holyfield for him being just her boyfriend for 8 years?? I mean, honestly, if she holds you down like says you do, why wouldn't you put a ring on it? All jokes aside, you're not on the team until you have a ring. So, for Chrissy, to hold him down with such fevered allegiance is not ridiculous, but it is a risky investment of her life and time. Time waits for no (wo)man.
In summation, if you are at the point of issuing your significant other an ultimatum, then you need to keep it moving and drop them. Because obviously, they are not at the level you are on in terms of commitment.
What do you think? Have you ever issued ultimatums to anyone in your life? If so, how did it go? If not, why not? Do you feel ultimatums are a move of desperation?
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!
January 25, 2012
Confidence
Good afternoon to all of you out there in e-world.... A lovely, big, juicy e-smooch to all of ya's out there.. lol
Yesterday, I had to go get my hair done because I was started to look like somebody who was not Jennifer lol
Now, I feel all luxurious and cute.. maybe a bit bougie too lol
.... Is this just a female thing??
Today's topic is CONFIDENCE.. I was asked about confidence and what makes me feel confident.
Everyone should be confident in a few areas of their life. People should be confident in who they are, what they can or can't deal with, as well as what they can offer somebody else.
A fresh hairdo always ADDS to my confidence.. Like if I feel like my hair is on point, then ALMOST nothing else matters. Dress is in the eye of the beholder. Most people think they are "killing 'em" everyday, but they are really "killing me" with their friggin' shotty opinion of style, but.... I digress :-)
What is confidence?
Confidence is knowing who you are and being comfortable in your skin. Confidence is sticking to your guns at all costs, regardless of what the "popular" choice may seem to be at the time. Confidence is a certain smile that you wear all day because everybody notices true confidence. Confidence is being able to give a compliment and really mean it, because you know it takes nothing away from you.
How do you gain confidence?
For me, I have been naturally confident because I am not a follower. A lot of people are followers because they are trying to get along with people and make friends. But, who wants a friend who can't think for themselves? If you learn to truly love yourself for who you truly are, flaws and all, your confidence will shine through.
What makes me feel confident?
Security brings me comfort which allows for my confidence to shine through. If I am secure in myself, my relationship, my friendships, etc., then my confidence is apparent and very noticeable. Thats an honest personal answer. Also, I am confident in my God, my talents, my accomplishments, my loyalty, my personality and my drive. I know that confidence can be measured as an indicator of strength, which sometimes can be dead on or dead wrong. Let that sink in and "mur-ehn-nate" a bit.. Plus, I can't be accused of being a "Thirsty McThirsten Thirsty Ass" le sigh..
This whole relocation thing has made me a bit wavering in my confidence, but it's all a process. Without struggle, there is no progress, right? Moving away from everyone I know, everything I know, leaving familiarity for the unknown has been rough and wayyy more than I bargained for. Everyday is an adventure and struggle that I love and despise at the same time, if that makes sense. I know (and I hope) somebody in my shoes is reading this blog because sometimes it's ok to be "uncomfortable" in a situation. It motivates me to work harder, not rest on my laurels, at the same time, doing a better job in grinding for that shine.
I have made a few acquaintances, but time will tell if these people are dependable, good souls who are confident in themselves to be a friend without being a "hater". That's where true hating comes from: a lack of self-confidence and a jealous/envious undertone in their personality. They are missing something on the inside which effects them on the inside, but after awhile, it builds up and that person starts showing their true colors on the outside. Maybe that's why they say what's done in the dark shall come to the light, right?
Again, all just IMO.. Maybe Im emo lol
What do you feel is confidence? What makes you confident? How do you think you can gain confidence? What brings you comfort?
Until next time, TTFN ;-)
Yesterday, I had to go get my hair done because I was started to look like somebody who was not Jennifer lol
Now, I feel all luxurious and cute.. maybe a bit bougie too lol
.... Is this just a female thing??
Today's topic is CONFIDENCE.. I was asked about confidence and what makes me feel confident.
Everyone should be confident in a few areas of their life. People should be confident in who they are, what they can or can't deal with, as well as what they can offer somebody else.
A fresh hairdo always ADDS to my confidence.. Like if I feel like my hair is on point, then ALMOST nothing else matters. Dress is in the eye of the beholder. Most people think they are "killing 'em" everyday, but they are really "killing me" with their friggin' shotty opinion of style, but.... I digress :-)
What is confidence?
Confidence is knowing who you are and being comfortable in your skin. Confidence is sticking to your guns at all costs, regardless of what the "popular" choice may seem to be at the time. Confidence is a certain smile that you wear all day because everybody notices true confidence. Confidence is being able to give a compliment and really mean it, because you know it takes nothing away from you.
How do you gain confidence?
For me, I have been naturally confident because I am not a follower. A lot of people are followers because they are trying to get along with people and make friends. But, who wants a friend who can't think for themselves? If you learn to truly love yourself for who you truly are, flaws and all, your confidence will shine through.
What makes me feel confident?
Security brings me comfort which allows for my confidence to shine through. If I am secure in myself, my relationship, my friendships, etc., then my confidence is apparent and very noticeable. Thats an honest personal answer. Also, I am confident in my God, my talents, my accomplishments, my loyalty, my personality and my drive. I know that confidence can be measured as an indicator of strength, which sometimes can be dead on or dead wrong. Let that sink in and "mur-ehn-nate" a bit.. Plus, I can't be accused of being a "Thirsty McThirsten Thirsty Ass" le sigh..
This whole relocation thing has made me a bit wavering in my confidence, but it's all a process. Without struggle, there is no progress, right? Moving away from everyone I know, everything I know, leaving familiarity for the unknown has been rough and wayyy more than I bargained for. Everyday is an adventure and struggle that I love and despise at the same time, if that makes sense. I know (and I hope) somebody in my shoes is reading this blog because sometimes it's ok to be "uncomfortable" in a situation. It motivates me to work harder, not rest on my laurels, at the same time, doing a better job in grinding for that shine.
I have made a few acquaintances, but time will tell if these people are dependable, good souls who are confident in themselves to be a friend without being a "hater". That's where true hating comes from: a lack of self-confidence and a jealous/envious undertone in their personality. They are missing something on the inside which effects them on the inside, but after awhile, it builds up and that person starts showing their true colors on the outside. Maybe that's why they say what's done in the dark shall come to the light, right?
Again, all just IMO.. Maybe Im emo lol
What do you feel is confidence? What makes you confident? How do you think you can gain confidence? What brings you comfort?
Until next time, TTFN ;-)
January 24, 2012
A Real Lady
Good Morning All..
A Special S/O to all of the people who really enjoyed yesterday's blog topic.. Today we are switching the shoe and taking a look at a "real lady" defined, inside and out..
First- What is a real lady?
A real lady is somebody who always know that the love she has and displays for herself is something that exceeds the price of any jewel. She is of "noble character", exactly like the woman described in Proverbs 31. She knows her worth and the worth of others. She defiantly identifies her "intimate goody parts" and her body as her temple and not that of a "hole in a wall" or a doorknob (everyone should not get a turn - As Jay Z said, "It ain't for everybody!"). She also is educated, financially independent, strong, classy and balanced. She is a woman of God, through and through. She knows that no man walking this Earth defines her existence. She is aware of her beauty and confident in her being herself.
Second- What does a real lady expect from the dating world?
A real lady should always expect to be treated with class, courtesy and respect at all times. She should expect a man to court her with chivalry and honesty. She understands that commitment and trust is to be earned and not given away freely. She also is aware that every guy she meets will not be familiar with these ways and sometimes, it is ok to show a man the way, especially if he is willing to learn and apply his new found knowledge.
A real lady is also aware that the words "guy" and "male" does not equate with the word "man". I will say this again: A real lady is also aware that the words "guy" and "male" does not equate with the word man. That's so nice, I had to say it twice :-D Every "guy" and "male" should not be granted an opportunity at getting to know and date you, especially if he is not ready to elevate his dating game to manhood by a courtship.. Please let that ish marinate..
Third- Why isn't every female a lady by nature?
Again, I am ecstatic that you asked this question. "Female" is not synonymous with "lady". I repeat: "Female" is not synonymous with "lady". Female merely means you have the plumbing for procreation, working or not. Females are born, ladies are developed and matured over time, like a fine wine. [S/O to wine lol- sorry, I couldn't help it!] Ladies know the difference between right and wrong, ladies make mistakes, but they are woman enough to admit when they are wrong and ready to rectify the situation and mend any offenses. A female lies at all costs to cover up her shortcomings. A lady is strong enough to be confident in her own skin, while commending other ladies on their strides as well. A female oozes with jealousy and always claims her "haters" are on her head at all times. A lady can accept her shortcomings and always strive to be better. A female looks at her shortcomings and is content with them being the status quo.
That is my take on the sit-chee-ay-shun..
What do you guys think? Are females and ladies one in the same? Are females asking for too much? Do you think females are not asking for enough? What ever happened to Girl Power and all that Jazz? IJS.. Le Sigh
Until next time, DEUCES and JUICES lol
January 23, 2012
A TRUE Gentleman....
Good afternoon All!
Thanks to all the people who prayed for my migraine to disappear .. it did.. :-D
ALSO, a MAJOR s/o to the new follower.. Heyyy girlll!
My weekend was semi-uneventful, but I digress..
When I was driving home on Friday evening, I suddenly wanted to blog about gentleman.. What defines a true gentleman, how to find one, etc.... When I got home, my migraine had kicked up to full-full speed and I had to lay it down..
Anyway, today, I will touch on this topic to the best of my ability, seeing that I am a woman and not a man. I'm merely on the outside looking in to the world of "Gentleman"-dom
First- WHAT DEFINES A TRUE GENTLEMAN?
A true gentleman is a man who has respect for his fellow man and all ladies. He opens doors for women, he offers up his seat if a lady is standing, he offers his jacket on a date if it is chilly, he is quick to be the "go to" guy for any and everything that a lady needs, if they are romantically involved or not. The only time he prefers Dutch is if he in the country (which is never) LOL. If you know a true gentleman, consider yourself lucky. These men seem to be a dying breed, nearly extinct in our society.
Second- WHY AREN'T ALL MEN GENTLEMEN BY NATURE?
All men aren't gentlemen naturally because they are uninformed. They are not knowledgeable of what a true gentleman is, how he acts, how he courts (FUTURE BLOG TOPIC BTW), how he communicates, how he disagrees, etc.... I could go on! lol But, men are creatures of habit in a way and followers in a way. Since the majority of men are not gentlemen, the masses tend to migrate and conform to what "everybody else" is doing. If Tyrone can't treat his women right, then why should Nathaniel? Gentlemen are groomed from Day 1, by their fathers. Children are like sponges and if they see that "Daddy isn't there" or Daddy treating Mama like a Welcome mat, then the young lad will copy and conform to Daddy's actions, even if he is absentee.
Also, women do play a role in the formation of a gentleman. For one, if she is single, she can not bring all types of random dudes around her son. The son may begin to devalue women and resent mommy for the lack of respect she is showing for herself, her kids, her household and her values. For two, if you are married, please do not emasculate your husband, especially in front of the kids. A young boy can be emotionally scarred from these types of encounters and think every woman is here to devalue all men.
Third- Where are these creatures called "gentlemen" located?
I'm glad you asked!! Prayer is the #1 way to find that true gentleman God has intended for you. This should be said first. As a single woman, please know that God is working on all of us. There's nothing wrong with exuding a bit of patience. For two, gentlemen are EVERYWHERE. They could be at church, at the movies, at the grocery stores, etc. The key to finding a gentlemen is COMMUNICATION. When I say communicate, I mean communicate clearly. When you are getting to know a guy, let him know up front, as to what kind of guy you require (NOT superficial things, but those oh sooo yummy internal qualities). If he is not the type of guy, PLEASE do yourself a favor and STOP thinking you can change or mold him. He is being upfront with you, so please play that honesty card and let his butt go! No need to waste your time.
No offense, but I think we as women need to start talking to our young boys. We as women need to start telling our young men how to treat a young lady, how to date, how to court, how to be respectful, how to cater to a deserving woman, how to be honest, how to be loyal. We as women also need to be careful.. Steve Harvey said it and I am echoing it: "Women know how to get pregnant and they know how not to get pregnant." Don't spread your legs to the highest bidder, the guy with "the pretty eyes" or "nice ride". You could end up with a boy as your child's father.
Which brings me to another point....
BONUS- Women need to step up to the pliggity-plate..
When dating, women have tunnel vision. They may overlook a lot of key info about a guy hoping to "snag" him for the long haul. Chivalry is NOT dead. There is nothing wrong with telling a guy what you will and will not tolerate. Please let's not forget our self-worth and devalue ourselves hoping to get "hitched". We are the givers of life, so why should you sacrifice your life for an unhappily ever after? I mean, who wants to get "hitched" with a dirt bag clown? That is defined as a guy who thinks that chivalry is dead, courting is played out and thinks marriage and monogamy is for idiots. I'm sure a few other guy types fit under "Un-Hitchable", but the gist of what I am saying is, don't settle.. ever.. You will NEVER be happy, no matter how you slice the pie, chile..
Again, I am just a blogger, kicking it to you as real as I can be.... I hope I did not offend anyone and if I did, maybe you should look in the mirror, mmm hmm?
What do you think? Was I a bit harsh? Are gentlemen a thing of the past? Are we women too passive to want more for ourselves?
Until next time, DEUCES and JUICES.... lol
Thanks to all the people who prayed for my migraine to disappear .. it did.. :-D
ALSO, a MAJOR s/o to the new follower.. Heyyy girlll!
My weekend was semi-uneventful, but I digress..
When I was driving home on Friday evening, I suddenly wanted to blog about gentleman.. What defines a true gentleman, how to find one, etc.... When I got home, my migraine had kicked up to full-full speed and I had to lay it down..
Anyway, today, I will touch on this topic to the best of my ability, seeing that I am a woman and not a man. I'm merely on the outside looking in to the world of "Gentleman"-dom
First- WHAT DEFINES A TRUE GENTLEMAN?
A true gentleman is a man who has respect for his fellow man and all ladies. He opens doors for women, he offers up his seat if a lady is standing, he offers his jacket on a date if it is chilly, he is quick to be the "go to" guy for any and everything that a lady needs, if they are romantically involved or not. The only time he prefers Dutch is if he in the country (which is never) LOL. If you know a true gentleman, consider yourself lucky. These men seem to be a dying breed, nearly extinct in our society.
Second- WHY AREN'T ALL MEN GENTLEMEN BY NATURE?
All men aren't gentlemen naturally because they are uninformed. They are not knowledgeable of what a true gentleman is, how he acts, how he courts (FUTURE BLOG TOPIC BTW), how he communicates, how he disagrees, etc.... I could go on! lol But, men are creatures of habit in a way and followers in a way. Since the majority of men are not gentlemen, the masses tend to migrate and conform to what "everybody else" is doing. If Tyrone can't treat his women right, then why should Nathaniel? Gentlemen are groomed from Day 1, by their fathers. Children are like sponges and if they see that "Daddy isn't there" or Daddy treating Mama like a Welcome mat, then the young lad will copy and conform to Daddy's actions, even if he is absentee.
Also, women do play a role in the formation of a gentleman. For one, if she is single, she can not bring all types of random dudes around her son. The son may begin to devalue women and resent mommy for the lack of respect she is showing for herself, her kids, her household and her values. For two, if you are married, please do not emasculate your husband, especially in front of the kids. A young boy can be emotionally scarred from these types of encounters and think every woman is here to devalue all men.
Third- Where are these creatures called "gentlemen" located?
I'm glad you asked!! Prayer is the #1 way to find that true gentleman God has intended for you. This should be said first. As a single woman, please know that God is working on all of us. There's nothing wrong with exuding a bit of patience. For two, gentlemen are EVERYWHERE. They could be at church, at the movies, at the grocery stores, etc. The key to finding a gentlemen is COMMUNICATION. When I say communicate, I mean communicate clearly. When you are getting to know a guy, let him know up front, as to what kind of guy you require (NOT superficial things, but those oh sooo yummy internal qualities). If he is not the type of guy, PLEASE do yourself a favor and STOP thinking you can change or mold him. He is being upfront with you, so please play that honesty card and let his butt go! No need to waste your time.
No offense, but I think we as women need to start talking to our young boys. We as women need to start telling our young men how to treat a young lady, how to date, how to court, how to be respectful, how to cater to a deserving woman, how to be honest, how to be loyal. We as women also need to be careful.. Steve Harvey said it and I am echoing it: "Women know how to get pregnant and they know how not to get pregnant." Don't spread your legs to the highest bidder, the guy with "the pretty eyes" or "nice ride". You could end up with a boy as your child's father.
Which brings me to another point....
BONUS- Women need to step up to the pliggity-plate..
When dating, women have tunnel vision. They may overlook a lot of key info about a guy hoping to "snag" him for the long haul. Chivalry is NOT dead. There is nothing wrong with telling a guy what you will and will not tolerate. Please let's not forget our self-worth and devalue ourselves hoping to get "hitched". We are the givers of life, so why should you sacrifice your life for an unhappily ever after? I mean, who wants to get "hitched" with a dirt bag clown? That is defined as a guy who thinks that chivalry is dead, courting is played out and thinks marriage and monogamy is for idiots. I'm sure a few other guy types fit under "Un-Hitchable", but the gist of what I am saying is, don't settle.. ever.. You will NEVER be happy, no matter how you slice the pie, chile..
Again, I am just a blogger, kicking it to you as real as I can be.... I hope I did not offend anyone and if I did, maybe you should look in the mirror, mmm hmm?
What do you think? Was I a bit harsh? Are gentlemen a thing of the past? Are we women too passive to want more for ourselves?
Until next time, DEUCES and JUICES.... lol
January 20, 2012
Under the weather.... Random-osity
Hi All..
I have the absolute WORST migraine today..
I had a topic all set, but I will save that for Monday.. Maybe, I will post a bonus blog this weekend.. Wait, I will have my niece this weekend.. Scratch that pimping lol
Anyway, today we are random, since my brain feels like scrambled mo-fo'ing eggs, you are going to get treated to some random facts about me.. Random thoughts..
1 - Where do migraines come from? From the bowels of hell
2- I hate when people call you on the phone and are whispering.. WTF.. IDK what the hell you saying? You sound like a serial killer
3- Somebody just had to tell me what "DTF" means LOL LOL
4- Also, if you are not DTF, you should not take shots on a first date lol lol
5- Bobby Brown's oldest son, Landon Brown, is pretty FOINE
6- I can not see when people subscribe to my blog, but to all of you out there that do, THANKS BOOKIE BOOs.
7- I still don't know anybody in Nashville, which sucks MAJOR titty balls
8- The few people I DO know in Nashville are too busy for life, let alone being social
9- I'm glad I blocked so-and-so's number lol lol S/O to T-Mobile
10- Today was the shaft. And not the good kind. I left my lunch at home, in my bedroom.
11- Jill Scott voice is like liquid aspirin
12- Not certain why people still knock on my office door when I am at lunch and CLEARLY there is a sign on my door that announces this
13- This bottled water is giving me life, just in small baby doses.
14- I can't wait to go home and cuddle up with my.... body pillow, pillow pet and/or Snuggie
15- My birthday is February 22nd and somebody today told me that I looked like I was born on February 28th.. whatttt??!!!
Anyhow, that is about all I can muster up today.. Didn't want to fall off and not post, plus some of y'all love my random banter, so hey, why not?
Until next time..........
I have the absolute WORST migraine today..
I had a topic all set, but I will save that for Monday.. Maybe, I will post a bonus blog this weekend.. Wait, I will have my niece this weekend.. Scratch that pimping lol
Anyway, today we are random, since my brain feels like scrambled mo-fo'ing eggs, you are going to get treated to some random facts about me.. Random thoughts..
1 - Where do migraines come from? From the bowels of hell
2- I hate when people call you on the phone and are whispering.. WTF.. IDK what the hell you saying? You sound like a serial killer
3- Somebody just had to tell me what "DTF" means LOL LOL
4- Also, if you are not DTF, you should not take shots on a first date lol lol
5- Bobby Brown's oldest son, Landon Brown, is pretty FOINE
6- I can not see when people subscribe to my blog, but to all of you out there that do, THANKS BOOKIE BOOs.
7- I still don't know anybody in Nashville, which sucks MAJOR titty balls
8- The few people I DO know in Nashville are too busy for life, let alone being social
9- I'm glad I blocked so-and-so's number lol lol S/O to T-Mobile
10- Today was the shaft. And not the good kind. I left my lunch at home, in my bedroom.
11- Jill Scott voice is like liquid aspirin
12- Not certain why people still knock on my office door when I am at lunch and CLEARLY there is a sign on my door that announces this
13- This bottled water is giving me life, just in small baby doses.
14- I can't wait to go home and cuddle up with my.... body pillow, pillow pet and/or Snuggie
15- My birthday is February 22nd and somebody today told me that I looked like I was born on February 28th.. whatttt??!!!
Anyhow, that is about all I can muster up today.. Didn't want to fall off and not post, plus some of y'all love my random banter, so hey, why not?
Until next time..........
January 19, 2012
For The Ladies: How To DECODE If A Guy Is Feeling You
Good Morning!
Even though this blog reads that it is for the ladies, men, please feel free to read this and add ANYTHING I may have missed in my covert research :-)
I got the following urgent request from one of my fellow faithful subscribers. Please read below:
Second, I did ask a few guys for their opinions. Being a guy is like being in a "members only" club because you guys' actions, words and such are so covert and secretive sometimes lol. Anyway, you will find my research below:
Guy #1 is 26 y/o, African American, FOINE, no kids, no girlfriend, no prospects.... He is taking time out to focus on his career, on the graduate school track. He is open to the opportunity for love and marriage down the line.
Guy #1 says this to you:
"You know us guys are simple. If a guy really likes you, it's two things to out for. First thing is if he goes out his way to do things for you. Things that are just really out the way for them. [Things can vary from guy to guy... It can be picking up your women personal items or something that the guy does NOT have to do] The second thing is when they REALLY pay attention to the small things that you like. When a woman says smalls things, she often times thinks that he wouldn't remember and when he does, that effort goes a long way in showing you are. Overall, the guy will always put your needs and feelings over his. That's how she should know."
Well, well, well! Well dayum said Guy #1..... *e-winks*
Even though this blog reads that it is for the ladies, men, please feel free to read this and add ANYTHING I may have missed in my covert research :-)
I got the following urgent request from one of my fellow faithful subscribers. Please read below:
Well, first off, Budding Romance, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading the blogs and enjoying the content. I try to keep it as real as possible. Well, I have been in your situation, but I try to be a straight shooter, especially if I am reading some non verbal chemistry. There is not a true sign for reading nonverbal chemistry, but if you are around and he's all giddy, smiling and such, then just ask him is he interested in getting to know one another, maybe as something more than friends.Hi Jay,
Girl, good job with the blog so far. You are dead on and
I look forward to the daily inspiration and various topics that you are so
accurate on. Kudos lady! I know that you write blogs based on personal
experience or by request and today I have an urgent request. Can you write an
honest blog on how to tell if a "guy friend" is feeling a chick? I think this
guy is giving me the green light, but I really do not know. I mean, who wants to
make a fool of themselves.Thanks,
(Hopeful) Budding Romance
Second, I did ask a few guys for their opinions. Being a guy is like being in a "members only" club because you guys' actions, words and such are so covert and secretive sometimes lol. Anyway, you will find my research below:
Guy #1 is 26 y/o, African American, FOINE, no kids, no girlfriend, no prospects.... He is taking time out to focus on his career, on the graduate school track. He is open to the opportunity for love and marriage down the line.
Guy #1 says this to you:
"You know us guys are simple. If a guy really likes you, it's two things to out for. First thing is if he goes out his way to do things for you. Things that are just really out the way for them. [Things can vary from guy to guy... It can be picking up your women personal items or something that the guy does NOT have to do] The second thing is when they REALLY pay attention to the small things that you like. When a woman says smalls things, she often times thinks that he wouldn't remember and when he does, that effort goes a long way in showing you are. Overall, the guy will always put your needs and feelings over his. That's how she should know."
Well, well, well! Well dayum said Guy #1..... *e-winks*
Guy #2 is a 30 y/o businessman and a FOINE professional IT whiz. He is steady in his career track and a "socialite" in the making. He has no kids, no girlfriends and is evasive if he is looking or not. However, he is careful, when it comes to handing out his heart.
Guy #2 says:
"Well, it's really different case by case. It kind of all goes back to knowing your guy or your man. If you know him as well as he can be known, if that friendship is genuine, sharing and on an honest foundation, then you will know intuitively. However, if I am feeling somebody, I verbally let her know and then I show it through my actions."
Well said Guy #2..... Kinda short, but I guess, that will do, because it is straight to the point.. lol
Ok, now that we got the guys' opinions out of the way, I'm sure you, Hopeful Budding Romance, and the rest of my readers want to know what I think, hmmmm.... kay!
Here goes nothing....
If a guy really likes you, I mean really, really likes you, then nothing and nobody can keep him from at least telling you. Even if he is shy. I mean, if the guy is shy and you make the first move, then either way, you are good. You will either A- Confirm his feelings and go forth to having some blissful whirlwind romance or B- Stop your feelings in the tracks cuz he ain't feeling you, bookie. Honestly, if he is not feeling you, that is his loss and your gain. You won't have wasted your time and energy on somebody that was not right for you and you are not occupied when Mr. Right finally DOES come along. Please keep in mind, I am single, so err umm, maybe you should listen to the guys.. lol jk.. I truly hope that helps out..
I hope that Hopeful Budding Romance found some wisdom between myself, Guy #1 and Guy #2..
So, guys, I pose this question to you: How do you show a gal you're ga-ga for her? Were we dead on? Dead wrong? Lost with no hope of getting back even with a talking GPS?
Until next time, CIAO!!!!!!
January 18, 2012
Guy, Girls and the Shake-Shake Club
Good Afternoon to all you
S/O to the new guy who told me he was following my blog :-)
S/O to Wednesdays! lol
I've had a VERY interesting morning.... I'll leave it at that lol.. Still laughing from some of the personal, yet harmless, tomfoolery. Cheese and bread guys, cheese and bread...
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!
Today's topic is Guys inviting their girls/female friends to the Shake-Shake Club (i.e. Female Ta-Ta Bar, Female "Scrip" Club, etc)
What?!?!?! IKR.. If you don't know, you better call & ask somebody *picks up ringing cell* "Helllloooo..." lol I'm so corny.. anyway.
Apparently, the new phenomenon is girls going to the strip club with their guy friends, boyfriends or husband.... When did this happen?
When I was a young gal, a few summers past, back in high school, all of us seniors used to look forward to turning 18 to go the "shake-shake" clubs for the first time. It was kind of like a "rites of passage" type deal at my high school.
It was always a group of us girls that turned 18 around the same time. My friend's birthday was in December, my cousin's birthday was in January, my birthday was in late February and another good friend of mine's birthday was in early March, so right after that March, we went to a popular Detroit 'male' strip club to see some fine gentlemen in the nighttime hour lol.. Strippers words, not mine lol
Anyhow, we had a blast, hanging out, tipping a few bucks, even sneaking some wine because checking ID's for alcohol was unheard of at this place, which were unaware of.
Anyway, that was the good ol' days, when girls hung out at the strip club for a laugh in the name of sisterhood and fun lol
However, I must have missed the memo because the new "joint" hangout spot is at the women's shake-em-up club.
Now, I have heard about husbands and wives going there for a bit of "inspiration" to spice up a weak date night, which is a bit weird to me, but hey, if that is your cup o'tea, sip on people.
However, guys inviting girls their as "dates" or "hangout spots" seems a bit raunchy and tacky.. Like, do I have to be in the presence of another chick's tig-o-bitties to get your attention? If so, then maybe I am not flaunting the right biz-ait lol I mean, that seems as if you are trying to make a bad first impression.. Better yet, I'll tell you my first impression of you when you actually "impress" me, boo
Back to this married people nonsense.. If my husband were to say "Hey baby, let's go to *insert name of female shake joint*. I think that would spice up our date night and maybe give us ideas for later. Are you down?" If I were this guy's wife, I would feel like this is what he is saying: "Hey wife, let's go to this ti**y bar. You're wack in the sack and could learn a hot trick or two from these chicks. Also, tonight, when we do it, I am probably going to be thinking about that hot piece of a**. Are you down for my visual cheat?"
Ok, maybe that is a bit extreme, but c'mon son... Somebody's dramatic woman read that scenario and "heard" part 2 only. You know I'm right..
But, what's wrong with guy wanting to spice it up with his woman? If it works for him and her, then as previously said, tip away my brother. However, if the woman is only going to: 1- spy on her man or 2- check out other women on the sly *insert side eye*, this duo is diz-oomed for destruction.
I think a woman going to the strip club to "keep an eye on her man" is holding on to something wayy too tight that she knows deep down is not hers. Im just saying... If I got to keep a pair of eyes on my man always, that should not be my man and I would have to re-evaluate this relationship.
So, in summation, ladies and fellas, let's be honest with one another and communicate.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!!!!
Talk to your lady (or man) before heading out to see some shake'em Mc Shake'Ems lol No need to set "rules" because everyone involved should be an adult, however, make sure that you both are clear with your expectations with night of "semi" voyeurism...
Until next time, CIAO!!!
What do you think? Is communication key? Are people turning into general slore bags obsessed with sex?
S/O to the new guy who told me he was following my blog :-)
S/O to Wednesdays! lol
I've had a VERY interesting morning.... I'll leave it at that lol.. Still laughing from some of the personal, yet harmless, tomfoolery. Cheese and bread guys, cheese and bread...
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!
Today's topic is Guys inviting their girls/female friends to the Shake-Shake Club (i.e. Female Ta-Ta Bar, Female "Scrip" Club, etc)
What?!?!?! IKR.. If you don't know, you better call & ask somebody *picks up ringing cell* "Helllloooo..." lol I'm so corny.. anyway.
Apparently, the new phenomenon is girls going to the strip club with their guy friends, boyfriends or husband.... When did this happen?
When I was a young gal, a few summers past, back in high school, all of us seniors used to look forward to turning 18 to go the "shake-shake" clubs for the first time. It was kind of like a "rites of passage" type deal at my high school.
It was always a group of us girls that turned 18 around the same time. My friend's birthday was in December, my cousin's birthday was in January, my birthday was in late February and another good friend of mine's birthday was in early March, so right after that March, we went to a popular Detroit 'male' strip club to see some fine gentlemen in the nighttime hour lol.. Strippers words, not mine lol
Anyhow, we had a blast, hanging out, tipping a few bucks, even sneaking some wine because checking ID's for alcohol was unheard of at this place, which were unaware of.
Anyway, that was the good ol' days, when girls hung out at the strip club for a laugh in the name of sisterhood and fun lol
However, I must have missed the memo because the new "joint" hangout spot is at the women's shake-em-up club.
Now, I have heard about husbands and wives going there for a bit of "inspiration" to spice up a weak date night, which is a bit weird to me, but hey, if that is your cup o'tea, sip on people.
However, guys inviting girls their as "dates" or "hangout spots" seems a bit raunchy and tacky.. Like, do I have to be in the presence of another chick's tig-o-bitties to get your attention? If so, then maybe I am not flaunting the right biz-ait lol I mean, that seems as if you are trying to make a bad first impression.. Better yet, I'll tell you my first impression of you when you actually "impress" me, boo
Back to this married people nonsense.. If my husband were to say "Hey baby, let's go to *insert name of female shake joint*. I think that would spice up our date night and maybe give us ideas for later. Are you down?" If I were this guy's wife, I would feel like this is what he is saying: "Hey wife, let's go to this ti**y bar. You're wack in the sack and could learn a hot trick or two from these chicks. Also, tonight, when we do it, I am probably going to be thinking about that hot piece of a**. Are you down for my visual cheat?"
Ok, maybe that is a bit extreme, but c'mon son... Somebody's dramatic woman read that scenario and "heard" part 2 only. You know I'm right..
But, what's wrong with guy wanting to spice it up with his woman? If it works for him and her, then as previously said, tip away my brother. However, if the woman is only going to: 1- spy on her man or 2- check out other women on the sly *insert side eye*, this duo is diz-oomed for destruction.
I think a woman going to the strip club to "keep an eye on her man" is holding on to something wayy too tight that she knows deep down is not hers. Im just saying... If I got to keep a pair of eyes on my man always, that should not be my man and I would have to re-evaluate this relationship.
So, in summation, ladies and fellas, let's be honest with one another and communicate.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!!!!
Talk to your lady (or man) before heading out to see some shake'em Mc Shake'Ems lol No need to set "rules" because everyone involved should be an adult, however, make sure that you both are clear with your expectations with night of "semi" voyeurism...
Until next time, CIAO!!!
What do you think? Is communication key? Are people turning into general slore bags obsessed with sex?
January 17, 2012
Honesty, Liars and all that other miggity mess
Good Morning to all you out there!
First off, a very belated Happy Founder's Day to the women of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated (Especially my gal Rashae and my sis, Amber)
Second off, a very belated Happy Birthday to MLK!
Thirdly, a VERY Happy Birthday to the First Lady, Michelle Obama aka Chelly O!
Last, but certainly not least, a very, very Happy Founder's Day to all those oh sooo pretty girls of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated! Skee wee, my sorors, skee wee!
S/O to Beta Eta (UofM), Xi (EMU), Beta Mu (WSU), Beta Pi (B'ham), Theta Tau (MG/UDM), Delta Zeta (MSU), Iota Iota (BGSU), Delta Chi (WMU), Pi (Fisk) and of course, the LOVELY sorors from my chapter, Nu Theta (GVSU).
Whoo..
Now, that I got that out of the wayyyy.... Today's topic is HONESTY.. Yup, I said it: HONESTY..
Now, we as humans are infallible and we are programmed to eff up, make mistakes and not be perfect.
Does this mean that we are programmed to tell "untruths" and be sneaky as well? Are little white lies a factor or a non mother- *bleep* -ing factor, to quote Evelyn? I guess that is personal opinion.
Me on the other hand, I try my BEST to tell the truth at all times, especially on important matters. Yes, I may tell the white lie from time to time ("Cute sweater", "That is a cute baby", "Your head isn't that big", etc) But I really can not think of times where I have told a whopper of a lie and not come clean.... Still pondering....
Anywho, women lie. Men Lie. It's that simple and it doesn't get any simpler than that..
However, I think the severity of the lies told between the two genders are equal and it all depends on the person.
For example, when I was in high school, I lied to ALL of my boyfriends... It's true, it's true.. It was ALWAYS about me and getting a "one up" on somebody, but TRUST, they were all small white lies ("No, I don't like such-and-such", "Yes, we can go to prom together", "Yes, you are muscular", etc....) I'm sure they lied to me too.. But, Whatev..
I'm sure that is why my luck with my male counterparts has not been the best.. My karma wasn't right.. *shrugs*
However, as a grown woman, I would and could NEVER look a man in the eye and tell him a falsehood, if I cared about him or not, but especially if I cared about him.. On the other hand, some of my male counterparts may not be ready to be honest with me or themselves. I'm very direct, I try not to assume and I ask direct questions. If I have the balls to do that, please have the same balls to be honest in answering my question. I was grown enough to ask, so be an adult and reciprocate some honesty.. IJS
I do know some adults (men and women) that lie on the daily to their friends, family and/or significant other and I think it is pretty disgusting that they can claim how "grown" and independent you are, but you are lying to somebody you claim to care about.. You are manipulating and playing with peoples' lives.. and it is not right.. Honestly, that kind of karma that you are putting out in the atmosphere is not good and once it comes back around on that booty of yours, all I will have to say is "Holy Moly Donut Shop.." lol
Somebody once told me, "Why lie when the truth is so much MORE interesting?" That's the realest ish I NEVER wrote..
But, with every good lie, you have to continue the deceit and web of lies with more lying to cover up and account for the original lie.. It's pretty stressful, I would think..
Just do everyone a favor: Be Honest.
Until next time, CIAO Babies!
What do you think? Am I right, wrong, or indifferent? Have you ever told any whoppers or white lies? Is the truth that much more interesting?
First off, a very belated Happy Founder's Day to the women of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated (Especially my gal Rashae and my sis, Amber)
Second off, a very belated Happy Birthday to MLK!
Thirdly, a VERY Happy Birthday to the First Lady, Michelle Obama aka Chelly O!
Last, but certainly not least, a very, very Happy Founder's Day to all those oh sooo pretty girls of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated! Skee wee, my sorors, skee wee!
S/O to Beta Eta (UofM), Xi (EMU), Beta Mu (WSU), Beta Pi (B'ham), Theta Tau (MG/UDM), Delta Zeta (MSU), Iota Iota (BGSU), Delta Chi (WMU), Pi (Fisk) and of course, the LOVELY sorors from my chapter, Nu Theta (GVSU).
Whoo..
Now, that I got that out of the wayyyy.... Today's topic is HONESTY.. Yup, I said it: HONESTY..
Now, we as humans are infallible and we are programmed to eff up, make mistakes and not be perfect.
Does this mean that we are programmed to tell "untruths" and be sneaky as well? Are little white lies a factor or a non mother- *bleep* -ing factor, to quote Evelyn? I guess that is personal opinion.
Me on the other hand, I try my BEST to tell the truth at all times, especially on important matters. Yes, I may tell the white lie from time to time ("Cute sweater", "That is a cute baby", "Your head isn't that big", etc) But I really can not think of times where I have told a whopper of a lie and not come clean.... Still pondering....
Anywho, women lie. Men Lie. It's that simple and it doesn't get any simpler than that..
However, I think the severity of the lies told between the two genders are equal and it all depends on the person.
For example, when I was in high school, I lied to ALL of my boyfriends... It's true, it's true.. It was ALWAYS about me and getting a "one up" on somebody, but TRUST, they were all small white lies ("No, I don't like such-and-such", "Yes, we can go to prom together", "Yes, you are muscular", etc....) I'm sure they lied to me too.. But, Whatev..
I'm sure that is why my luck with my male counterparts has not been the best.. My karma wasn't right.. *shrugs*
However, as a grown woman, I would and could NEVER look a man in the eye and tell him a falsehood, if I cared about him or not, but especially if I cared about him.. On the other hand, some of my male counterparts may not be ready to be honest with me or themselves. I'm very direct, I try not to assume and I ask direct questions. If I have the balls to do that, please have the same balls to be honest in answering my question. I was grown enough to ask, so be an adult and reciprocate some honesty.. IJS
I do know some adults (men and women) that lie on the daily to their friends, family and/or significant other and I think it is pretty disgusting that they can claim how "grown" and independent you are, but you are lying to somebody you claim to care about.. You are manipulating and playing with peoples' lives.. and it is not right.. Honestly, that kind of karma that you are putting out in the atmosphere is not good and once it comes back around on that booty of yours, all I will have to say is "Holy Moly Donut Shop.." lol
Somebody once told me, "Why lie when the truth is so much MORE interesting?" That's the realest ish I NEVER wrote..
But, with every good lie, you have to continue the deceit and web of lies with more lying to cover up and account for the original lie.. It's pretty stressful, I would think..
Just do everyone a favor: Be Honest.
Until next time, CIAO Babies!
What do you think? Am I right, wrong, or indifferent? Have you ever told any whoppers or white lies? Is the truth that much more interesting?
January 13, 2012
Too Loyal??
Good Morning to all of you out there in e-world *e-airkisses*
S/O to alllll of the people out there who are faithful and read my blogs daily....
Big Ups to the personal texts I receive making sure I keep this up lol
ALSO, a MAJOR S/O to the Devastating Divas of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated..... Especially my mother :-D
Anyhow, today's topic will be LOYALTY
I read something today that made me question the loyalty sisters give to the brothers. Are we to loyal to the men that do not deserve our allegiance?
Situation #1- Girls befriends Dude. Dude proclaims to be her ride or die. Dude and Girl start kicking it. Dude e-cheats with skuzzbucket slore, then lies about what Girls' eyes saw *insert side eye* Girl dumps Dude, but still holds Dude down and is Dude friend.
Situation #2- Guy professes to not want to date to Girl. Girl tells Guy she understands. Guy askes Girl out more than once. Girl starts liking Guy and think Guy likes her too. Girl wants to confront Guy on his feelings, but does not want to lose Guy's friendship. Girl continues to play the friend "role".
Situation #3- Chick meets Boy. Boy and Chick go out a few weeks. Boy asks Chick for exclusivity, but says he is not ready for a relationship. Chick agrees to exclusivity. Chick and Boy share "intimate goody parts". Chick waits for Boy. Boy leaves Chick for Woman 6 months later.
Based on these basic yet real-life scenarios, the answer would be yes. In CERTAIN situations, woman are too loyal when pledging their allegiance to somebody that does not deserve that type of loyalty.
Sometimes, we as women are so anxious to feel "wanted" that we unconsciously lower our standards. We sometimes think "something is better than nothing", when sometimes, nothing is better than just any old thing.
Plainly put *grabs e-bullhorn* TOO MANY WOMEN ARE SETTLING AND MEN HAVE GOTTEN THE MEMO
Thats my honest opinion....
When you settle for less than what you deserve, you end up getting even less than what you thought you had settled for. (Let that marinate.. Repeat as OFTEN as needed..)
...I CAN ATTEST TO THIS RIGHT 'CHEA!
We as women need to realize that it is US who sometimes hold ALL of the cards and we do not even realize it. True, sometimes we need to fall back, but sometimes, we need to step up and be honest. I'd rather be honest with my feelings and let a guy leave out of my life. That means he was not meant for me and he is done wasting my time. I'd rather not waste my time guessing, hoping, waiting and assuming that what a guy wants, needs, requires and dreams of is merely waiting in the comfort of my arms alone.
I know we as women are not perfect, but we are the givers of life. The nurturers. The lovers. The leaders. The teachers. However, we are falling short on giving, nurturing, loving, leading and teaching our STAR pupils: OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.
I hope all of you can take something meaningful from this post.. I know I did..
Until next time, CIAO!!
S/O to alllll of the people out there who are faithful and read my blogs daily....
Big Ups to the personal texts I receive making sure I keep this up lol
ALSO, a MAJOR S/O to the Devastating Divas of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated..... Especially my mother :-D
Anyhow, today's topic will be LOYALTY
I read something today that made me question the loyalty sisters give to the brothers. Are we to loyal to the men that do not deserve our allegiance?
Situation #1- Girls befriends Dude. Dude proclaims to be her ride or die. Dude and Girl start kicking it. Dude e-cheats with skuzzbucket slore, then lies about what Girls' eyes saw *insert side eye* Girl dumps Dude, but still holds Dude down and is Dude friend.
Situation #2- Guy professes to not want to date to Girl. Girl tells Guy she understands. Guy askes Girl out more than once. Girl starts liking Guy and think Guy likes her too. Girl wants to confront Guy on his feelings, but does not want to lose Guy's friendship. Girl continues to play the friend "role".
Situation #3- Chick meets Boy. Boy and Chick go out a few weeks. Boy asks Chick for exclusivity, but says he is not ready for a relationship. Chick agrees to exclusivity. Chick and Boy share "intimate goody parts". Chick waits for Boy. Boy leaves Chick for Woman 6 months later.
Based on these basic yet real-life scenarios, the answer would be yes. In CERTAIN situations, woman are too loyal when pledging their allegiance to somebody that does not deserve that type of loyalty.
Sometimes, we as women are so anxious to feel "wanted" that we unconsciously lower our standards. We sometimes think "something is better than nothing", when sometimes, nothing is better than just any old thing.
Plainly put *grabs e-bullhorn* TOO MANY WOMEN ARE SETTLING AND MEN HAVE GOTTEN THE MEMO
Thats my honest opinion....
When you settle for less than what you deserve, you end up getting even less than what you thought you had settled for. (Let that marinate.. Repeat as OFTEN as needed..)
...I CAN ATTEST TO THIS RIGHT 'CHEA!
We as women need to realize that it is US who sometimes hold ALL of the cards and we do not even realize it. True, sometimes we need to fall back, but sometimes, we need to step up and be honest. I'd rather be honest with my feelings and let a guy leave out of my life. That means he was not meant for me and he is done wasting my time. I'd rather not waste my time guessing, hoping, waiting and assuming that what a guy wants, needs, requires and dreams of is merely waiting in the comfort of my arms alone.
I know we as women are not perfect, but we are the givers of life. The nurturers. The lovers. The leaders. The teachers. However, we are falling short on giving, nurturing, loving, leading and teaching our STAR pupils: OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.
I hope all of you can take something meaningful from this post.. I know I did..
Until next time, CIAO!!
January 12, 2012
General Rambling - 16 Random Thoughts from Me
Good Morning All
Well, today is an awesome day.. I went out with a friend last night and we had a blasty.. S/O to those margaritas....
Today's topic will basically be a lot of rambling- no real specific topic.. To keep a tad bit of organization, I will number my riggity-rants....
Sidenote: Yes, I was asked to do a blog on my random rambling.. People want to try to figure out my thought process.. I suppose.. tee-hee-hee..
1- BET's 'The Game' Season 5 premiere started off with loads of driggy-drama.. IJS.. The best part of the episode was him punching Trey Wiggs, taking the present and leaving ol' boy comatose in the driveway.. Again, that's just IMO..
2- I don't know about you, but Pretty Little Liars is THAT DEAL.. All jokes aside.. The show can do NO wrong in my eyes.. S/O to ABC Family..
3- I really can not wait for The Secret Life of the American Teenager to come back on TV.. Yay March!
4- I'm really homesick for Detroit :-(
5- Downtown Nashville has NO WHERE to park
6- I think I have a type for the type of guy I like, but I have a different type for the guy I actually date.. Weird..
7- I will be 26 on February 22, 2011, which means in 2015, I will be 30.. Maybe I won't be man-less then too lol
8- I really love Anita Baker's voice... It's like a warm red velvet cake that is miggity-moist
9- I do not drink pop, unless I am sick, then it is some ginger ale, which I love.. Not Vernor's, but Canada Dry
10- Leggings were like the coolest and most comfy thing ever invented, next to skinny jeans..
11-Miracle Whip is the BombDotCom
12- I love myself, but I can always do a better job of loving myself more.
13- To gain a true friend, you must be a true friend first.
14- Footrubs are the way to my heart.. And if you add a sandwich and a flavored tea, I may propose marriage lol
15- Reality TV is THEE most funniest thing I have been able to indulge in in quite some time.... That dayum Chrissy and Yandy (i.e. Love & Hip-Hop- Vh1)
16- From what I hear, Nashville will have its' very first snowfall since I have been a resident.. a whole half of an inch and people are going B-A-N-A-N-A-S! lol
Ok, I think I just emptied my brain....
Until next time, Too-Da-Loo!
The next topic (by request, of course) will be Interracial Relationships.... Let's ALLL cross our fingers, toes and eyes to see if my bestest male buddy will collaborate with me on this topic....
Well, today is an awesome day.. I went out with a friend last night and we had a blasty.. S/O to those margaritas....
Today's topic will basically be a lot of rambling- no real specific topic.. To keep a tad bit of organization, I will number my riggity-rants....
Sidenote: Yes, I was asked to do a blog on my random rambling.. People want to try to figure out my thought process.. I suppose.. tee-hee-hee..
1- BET's 'The Game' Season 5 premiere started off with loads of driggy-drama.. IJS.. The best part of the episode was him punching Trey Wiggs, taking the present and leaving ol' boy comatose in the driveway.. Again, that's just IMO..
2- I don't know about you, but Pretty Little Liars is THAT DEAL.. All jokes aside.. The show can do NO wrong in my eyes.. S/O to ABC Family..
3- I really can not wait for The Secret Life of the American Teenager to come back on TV.. Yay March!
4- I'm really homesick for Detroit :-(
5- Downtown Nashville has NO WHERE to park
6- I think I have a type for the type of guy I like, but I have a different type for the guy I actually date.. Weird..
7- I will be 26 on February 22, 2011, which means in 2015, I will be 30.. Maybe I won't be man-less then too lol
8- I really love Anita Baker's voice... It's like a warm red velvet cake that is miggity-moist
9- I do not drink pop, unless I am sick, then it is some ginger ale, which I love.. Not Vernor's, but Canada Dry
10- Leggings were like the coolest and most comfy thing ever invented, next to skinny jeans..
11-Miracle Whip is the BombDotCom
12- I love myself, but I can always do a better job of loving myself more.
13- To gain a true friend, you must be a true friend first.
14- Footrubs are the way to my heart.. And if you add a sandwich and a flavored tea, I may propose marriage lol
15- Reality TV is THEE most funniest thing I have been able to indulge in in quite some time.... That dayum Chrissy and Yandy (i.e. Love & Hip-Hop- Vh1)
16- From what I hear, Nashville will have its' very first snowfall since I have been a resident.. a whole half of an inch and people are going B-A-N-A-N-A-S! lol
Ok, I think I just emptied my brain....
Until next time, Too-Da-Loo!
The next topic (by request, of course) will be Interracial Relationships.... Let's ALLL cross our fingers, toes and eyes to see if my bestest male buddy will collaborate with me on this topic....
January 10, 2012
Top 3 Types of Women that EVERY Good Man Should Avoid
Good Morning to everybody tuning in this morning!
S/O to everyone that has been a faithful follower of the blog.. Writing has alwyas been a passion of mine, especially when it is on my terms, just wanted to put that out there.
Also, a major S/O to everyone that is UBER excited for the new season of The Game (BOOM BOOM CLAP, BOOM BOOM CLAP!) It comes on tonight on at 10/9c... IJS..
Back to the regularly scheduled programming....
Since I went hard on the men yesterday, I hope the ladies KNEW that today was their turn.. I mean, we are ALL about fairness and equality.. The name of the blog IS 100% Real, Raw and UnCut Truth.. Not 50%, 98%, Not 47.5%, but 100%... If this was Maury, I would be 1,000% sure.. Well maybe not, because when those chicks say "Maury, I'm 1,000% sure that he is my baby's father" those dudes are not even the father.... But, I digress!
Today, we are going to identify the Top 3 types of women that a GOOD man should AVOID..
First off, let's define a GOOD woman, since EVERYBODY wants to classify themselves as such, even the slores and skuzzbucket chicks..
Good Woman - Educated, financially independent, hustler, proud, with or without children BUT is she has them, she doesn't accept having kids as being a "setback" or a "tax write-off" but a cherished blessing and investment of love :-)
I think that covers it..
BUT...
If you are still confused, I will do a BLATANT "CATCH" and "FUMBLE" example again.... I know you guys loved them yesterday :-D
Example #1- Gina just got her MBA, is working towards opening her own boutique temp agency that caters to a special population/clientele. Currently, she is a legal assistant at a moderately sized firm. She has her own loft, her own mode of transportation and she has a 4 year old son who's father chooses to not be in his life.
Example #2- Tish dropped out of high school 8 years ago. She refuses to get her GED, even though a she knows of a few programs that would not charge her anything in pursuing this opportunity. Tish is content living off of the government. She has 6 babies and is currently 2 month pregnant with twins. She is still stripping before she starts showing. Tish lives with her friend, Lena, who is also a stripper and mother of 4.
If you guessed that Gina was the "CATCH" and Tish was the "FUMBLE", then you were right. Tish is a BLATANT fumble because she can get a program to pay for her to better herself by getting a GED but chooses not to. By doing this, it does not set a good example for her children. Her being a stripper and on government aid is not the BLATANT fumble part, but the fact that she does not WANT more for herself and her children solidifies her "FUMBLE"-osity-ness. lol Yes, I make up words from time to time..
Sidenote: There is nothing wrong with dating somebody with kids, especially if they have their stuff together. But if the person is a hot mess and adds kids to the mix, RUN! AS. FAST. AS. YOU. CAN. IJS
Now, like yesterday, this list is NOT all inclusive for the "undateable" women, but this list does highlight the top 3 women that a good man should stay away from, unless he wants to be tainted and scarred for years to come....
Type #1- The Dashiki
Who is she? The Dashiki is the women with so many kids that she puts Mrs. Wayans and Mrs. Jackson to shame... The thing is, The Dashiki has so many baby fathers, her bedroom door has to be revolving one. The Dashiki is also known as "The Panty-less One".
How to spot her? You can spot her ANYWHERE with the tightest, most revealing outfit. Walmart, Target, Doctor's Office, The Club, etc.. Unitard and heels is her uniform and she is looking for a sponsor. The type of outfit that if she burps, her ovaries will be visible. The thing is, she NEVER takes her kids anywhere, so you may not know she is "The Dashiki". Another way to spot her would be to ask her, but she is trained to deflect and avoid these direct questions.
How to get rid of her? You can out her and get rid of her by hinting around how much you have always wanted a big family and you don't mind taking care of other people's responsibilities. After awhile, she will confess and you can show her the door for living that "trife life".
Type #2- The Stalker
Who is she? This Creepy Mc Creeperton is just a weirdo to the max. She is also known as the delusional one. She stalks Facebook and Twitter pages.. Subscribing to every tweet and status update. The bad thing is... most men do not know this h** is stalking that a** until you dump her.
How to spot her? The Stalker is a REAL chameleon. She will camouflage her crazy-ness until it is too late for you to realize that this h** is crazier than a fish with titties.. IJS lol.. Anyhow, you can spot her because she is toooo emotionally needy. She wants you to spend every waking moment calling, texting, tweeting, fb'ing her.. Or at least updating her on your location, who you are with, how long you will be there, who are there with, etc.. And if you miss an update, she will "spazz out irrationally". She is always speaking "long term" with dudes, she is EXTREMELY passive-aggressive.
How to get rid of her? Honestly, I am not sure. Once you dump her, she is going to believe that you are playing hard to get. She also is going to stalk that a**. *Kanye West Shrug* I would say when you break up with her, do it in a public place, have a tape recorder on you and witnesses on hand because this crazy fruit doesn't play fair.
Type #3- The Lazy Lounger
Who is she? This lady is lazy to the TEE. She doesn't like to go to work, she doesn't like to go to school (whether it is free or not), she has questionable hygiene and she wants to be a mooch. This chick prefers handouts and people (guys, friends, family, etc) doing stuff for her to make things easier for her.
How to spot her? This chick is forever whining about "What have you done for me lately?!!" and her last name is MOST CERTAINLY not JACKSON! You can spot her asking for something.. Always.. "Can I have .15?" "Can I have a $1?" "Can you pay for my gas?" "Can you do my homework for me?" "Can you get me a gift card?" etc.. You never will hear this person asking for what they REALLY need: "CAN I BORROW A JOB?" You can easily spot this chick because everytime you text her WYD, her reply is ALWAYS the SAME: Just Chillin' *insert side eye*
How to get rid of her? Everytime she comes over, start asking her to help clean up, pitch in with bills, etc.. Also, stop helping her out and complain of a "most recent cash flow issue." She will bolt faster than an aspiring model after leaving a buffet line LOL
Well, I hope I answered your question..... Please feel free to weigh in below.. What do you think? Was I dead on? Was I dead wrong?
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!
S/O to everyone that has been a faithful follower of the blog.. Writing has alwyas been a passion of mine, especially when it is on my terms, just wanted to put that out there.
Also, a major S/O to everyone that is UBER excited for the new season of The Game (BOOM BOOM CLAP, BOOM BOOM CLAP!) It comes on tonight on at 10/9c... IJS..
Back to the regularly scheduled programming....
Since I went hard on the men yesterday, I hope the ladies KNEW that today was their turn.. I mean, we are ALL about fairness and equality.. The name of the blog IS 100% Real, Raw and UnCut Truth.. Not 50%, 98%, Not 47.5%, but 100%... If this was Maury, I would be 1,000% sure.. Well maybe not, because when those chicks say "Maury, I'm 1,000% sure that he is my baby's father" those dudes are not even the father.... But, I digress!
Today, we are going to identify the Top 3 types of women that a GOOD man should AVOID..
First off, let's define a GOOD woman, since EVERYBODY wants to classify themselves as such, even the slores and skuzzbucket chicks..
Good Woman - Educated, financially independent, hustler, proud, with or without children BUT is she has them, she doesn't accept having kids as being a "setback" or a "tax write-off" but a cherished blessing and investment of love :-)
I think that covers it..
BUT...
If you are still confused, I will do a BLATANT "CATCH" and "FUMBLE" example again.... I know you guys loved them yesterday :-D
Example #1- Gina just got her MBA, is working towards opening her own boutique temp agency that caters to a special population/clientele. Currently, she is a legal assistant at a moderately sized firm. She has her own loft, her own mode of transportation and she has a 4 year old son who's father chooses to not be in his life.
Example #2- Tish dropped out of high school 8 years ago. She refuses to get her GED, even though a she knows of a few programs that would not charge her anything in pursuing this opportunity. Tish is content living off of the government. She has 6 babies and is currently 2 month pregnant with twins. She is still stripping before she starts showing. Tish lives with her friend, Lena, who is also a stripper and mother of 4.
If you guessed that Gina was the "CATCH" and Tish was the "FUMBLE", then you were right. Tish is a BLATANT fumble because she can get a program to pay for her to better herself by getting a GED but chooses not to. By doing this, it does not set a good example for her children. Her being a stripper and on government aid is not the BLATANT fumble part, but the fact that she does not WANT more for herself and her children solidifies her "FUMBLE"-osity-ness. lol Yes, I make up words from time to time..
Sidenote: There is nothing wrong with dating somebody with kids, especially if they have their stuff together. But if the person is a hot mess and adds kids to the mix, RUN! AS. FAST. AS. YOU. CAN. IJS
Now, like yesterday, this list is NOT all inclusive for the "undateable" women, but this list does highlight the top 3 women that a good man should stay away from, unless he wants to be tainted and scarred for years to come....
Type #1- The Dashiki
Who is she? The Dashiki is the women with so many kids that she puts Mrs. Wayans and Mrs. Jackson to shame... The thing is, The Dashiki has so many baby fathers, her bedroom door has to be revolving one. The Dashiki is also known as "The Panty-less One".
How to spot her? You can spot her ANYWHERE with the tightest, most revealing outfit. Walmart, Target, Doctor's Office, The Club, etc.. Unitard and heels is her uniform and she is looking for a sponsor. The type of outfit that if she burps, her ovaries will be visible. The thing is, she NEVER takes her kids anywhere, so you may not know she is "The Dashiki". Another way to spot her would be to ask her, but she is trained to deflect and avoid these direct questions.
How to get rid of her? You can out her and get rid of her by hinting around how much you have always wanted a big family and you don't mind taking care of other people's responsibilities. After awhile, she will confess and you can show her the door for living that "trife life".
Type #2- The Stalker
Who is she? This Creepy Mc Creeperton is just a weirdo to the max. She is also known as the delusional one. She stalks Facebook and Twitter pages.. Subscribing to every tweet and status update. The bad thing is... most men do not know this h** is stalking that a** until you dump her.
How to spot her? The Stalker is a REAL chameleon. She will camouflage her crazy-ness until it is too late for you to realize that this h** is crazier than a fish with titties.. IJS lol.. Anyhow, you can spot her because she is toooo emotionally needy. She wants you to spend every waking moment calling, texting, tweeting, fb'ing her.. Or at least updating her on your location, who you are with, how long you will be there, who are there with, etc.. And if you miss an update, she will "spazz out irrationally". She is always speaking "long term" with dudes, she is EXTREMELY passive-aggressive.
How to get rid of her? Honestly, I am not sure. Once you dump her, she is going to believe that you are playing hard to get. She also is going to stalk that a**. *Kanye West Shrug* I would say when you break up with her, do it in a public place, have a tape recorder on you and witnesses on hand because this crazy fruit doesn't play fair.
Type #3- The Lazy Lounger
Who is she? This lady is lazy to the TEE. She doesn't like to go to work, she doesn't like to go to school (whether it is free or not), she has questionable hygiene and she wants to be a mooch. This chick prefers handouts and people (guys, friends, family, etc) doing stuff for her to make things easier for her.
How to spot her? This chick is forever whining about "What have you done for me lately?!!" and her last name is MOST CERTAINLY not JACKSON! You can spot her asking for something.. Always.. "Can I have .15?" "Can I have a $1?" "Can you pay for my gas?" "Can you do my homework for me?" "Can you get me a gift card?" etc.. You never will hear this person asking for what they REALLY need: "CAN I BORROW A JOB?" You can easily spot this chick because everytime you text her WYD, her reply is ALWAYS the SAME: Just Chillin' *insert side eye*
How to get rid of her? Everytime she comes over, start asking her to help clean up, pitch in with bills, etc.. Also, stop helping her out and complain of a "most recent cash flow issue." She will bolt faster than an aspiring model after leaving a buffet line LOL
Well, I hope I answered your question..... Please feel free to weigh in below.. What do you think? Was I dead on? Was I dead wrong?
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!
January 9, 2012
Top 3 Types of Men that EVERY Good Woman Should Avoid
Good Morning
I hope everyone's weekend was awesome and relaxing - mine is vomit-filled. smh Death to my cysts..
Anyhow, today's topic is 3 types of men that EVERY good woman should avoid.
Of course, we as good women, should avoid the OBVIOUS bad choices in men (the liar, the narcissistic, the cheater, the downlow brother), but here are three types of men that I have personally dated that I did not think was sooo bad at first, then WHAM! I knew: THIS DUDE IS ILL!!
First off, let's define a good man..
A good man is a guy that is deemed a "catch" and has a combo of the following: personality, independence, financial security, education or at least "on the road" to financial security/independence
Example #1- Tyrone works at McDonald's, is 35 years old, has 6 baby mama's and a possible, does not pay child support, has some scattered credits at a junior college and has gold teeth. He also lives with his mama, writing his name on the Orange Juice and does not help out with bills around the house
TYRONE IS NOT A CATCH!!!!! Plainly put.... Not saying that he couldn't ever be a catch, but he ain't at this point..
Example #2- Alonzo is a substitute teacher, working his way through his last year of graduate school. He has his own place and mode of transportation. He also volunteers in his spare time. He has no children and plans to wait to have children until he is married
ALONZO IS A CATCH! DUHHH!!!
Now, those are two cut and dry instances..... We all know that it is NOT always that easy to spot a "CATCH" from a blatant "FUMBLE" lol IJS
Type #1- The Victim
Who is he? He blames EVERYONE for his downfall. Society, his parents, his friends, the "white man", etc.. Everybody but him played a role in his downfall and lack of success.
How to Spot him? He will be the LOUDEST in the room at ANY type of event, complaining and raising he**. He will fool you with his engaging conversation, wit and sublime fashion sense.
How to ditch him? Give him some type of responsibility and he will split faster than too little pants on Rosie O'Donnell with no lycra. Don't date the victim thinking he is a catch.
Type #2- The Crier
Who is he? He cries. At. Every. Dayum. THING. LITERALLY. He claims he is "so hard" but his eyes well up at LEAST 4 times a day.
How to Spot him? Most often, he is the funniest guy in the room at ANY function, keeping everyone in stitches from laughter. Maybe he does this to keep from crying and being the uber emo dude he is.
How to ditch him? Yell at him. That worked for me. And keep yelling until he cries his pansy a** right up out the door. Worked like a chiz-arm for me.
Type #3- The Charmer
Who is he? Literally, he is a charmer. Wears suits all the time, speaks with proper diction and grammar, has a fly car, in school with a clear-cut future in his career.
How to Spot him? You can spot him at any social function skinning and grinning in everybody faces. Mostly, he sticks to hanging with guys and winking at every lady in the room to make himself seem more desirable. Don't fall for this - he probably has dated all of you and trying to keep you guys from finding out, so he never approaches a female directly in public.
How to ditch him? Honestly, I had to change my number 6 times, block his number and get a restraining order to get rid of this dude. I don't know any other method to get rid of this psychadelic shack a** Weirdy Mc Weird Cakes lol
Well, I know this list is not comprehensive, but it is good to start with... Please feel freee to share your comments.. Did I miss a type? What do you think?
Tomorrow's topic: Top 3 types of women Every GOOD man should avoid
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!
I hope everyone's weekend was awesome and relaxing - mine is vomit-filled. smh Death to my cysts..
Anyhow, today's topic is 3 types of men that EVERY good woman should avoid.
Of course, we as good women, should avoid the OBVIOUS bad choices in men (the liar, the narcissistic, the cheater, the downlow brother), but here are three types of men that I have personally dated that I did not think was sooo bad at first, then WHAM! I knew: THIS DUDE IS ILL!!
First off, let's define a good man..
A good man is a guy that is deemed a "catch" and has a combo of the following: personality, independence, financial security, education or at least "on the road" to financial security/independence
Example #1- Tyrone works at McDonald's, is 35 years old, has 6 baby mama's and a possible, does not pay child support, has some scattered credits at a junior college and has gold teeth. He also lives with his mama, writing his name on the Orange Juice and does not help out with bills around the house
TYRONE IS NOT A CATCH!!!!! Plainly put.... Not saying that he couldn't ever be a catch, but he ain't at this point..
Example #2- Alonzo is a substitute teacher, working his way through his last year of graduate school. He has his own place and mode of transportation. He also volunteers in his spare time. He has no children and plans to wait to have children until he is married
ALONZO IS A CATCH! DUHHH!!!
Now, those are two cut and dry instances..... We all know that it is NOT always that easy to spot a "CATCH" from a blatant "FUMBLE" lol IJS
Type #1- The Victim
Who is he? He blames EVERYONE for his downfall. Society, his parents, his friends, the "white man", etc.. Everybody but him played a role in his downfall and lack of success.
How to Spot him? He will be the LOUDEST in the room at ANY type of event, complaining and raising he**. He will fool you with his engaging conversation, wit and sublime fashion sense.
How to ditch him? Give him some type of responsibility and he will split faster than too little pants on Rosie O'Donnell with no lycra. Don't date the victim thinking he is a catch.
Type #2- The Crier
Who is he? He cries. At. Every. Dayum. THING. LITERALLY. He claims he is "so hard" but his eyes well up at LEAST 4 times a day.
How to Spot him? Most often, he is the funniest guy in the room at ANY function, keeping everyone in stitches from laughter. Maybe he does this to keep from crying and being the uber emo dude he is.
How to ditch him? Yell at him. That worked for me. And keep yelling until he cries his pansy a** right up out the door. Worked like a chiz-arm for me.
Type #3- The Charmer
Who is he? Literally, he is a charmer. Wears suits all the time, speaks with proper diction and grammar, has a fly car, in school with a clear-cut future in his career.
How to Spot him? You can spot him at any social function skinning and grinning in everybody faces. Mostly, he sticks to hanging with guys and winking at every lady in the room to make himself seem more desirable. Don't fall for this - he probably has dated all of you and trying to keep you guys from finding out, so he never approaches a female directly in public.
How to ditch him? Honestly, I had to change my number 6 times, block his number and get a restraining order to get rid of this dude. I don't know any other method to get rid of this psychadelic shack a** Weirdy Mc Weird Cakes lol
Well, I know this list is not comprehensive, but it is good to start with... Please feel freee to share your comments.. Did I miss a type? What do you think?
Tomorrow's topic: Top 3 types of women Every GOOD man should avoid
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!
January 6, 2012
Can I be your tennis ball?
Good Afternoon Everyone!
S/O to us for having OVER 150 views yesterday alone.. Go us, go us, go us!!
Today's topic will be GOLD DIGGERS *cues up Kanye West/Jamie Foxx hit*
"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke n****!" ....
*insert side eye*
Personally, I have never been a gold digger. I believe in working for mine and not asking for a handout.. That is just me..
Yes, I have a dated a celebrity or two in my day (a rapper and a singer), but I was certain that I could not be classified as a gold digger. When this topic came up recently in an office game, somebody asked me was I a reformed gold digger?
Excuse you country bumpkin?!
*insert side laser beam from the Matrix to the miggity max*
I politely smiled and said, "No, my foundation, upbringing and DNA will never allow me to be one who digs for gold that does not belong to me."
What classifies a woman as a gold digger?
Personally, I think a gold digger can be classified or defined as the type of woman who slangs her intimate goodies to and fro while on the celeb man hunt for "financial greatness". Plainly put, she fu**s for bucks.. but only athletes, wealthy men, singers, rappers, etc...
Sidenote: 'Athlete' is a two syllable word, not a three syllable word. Pronounced 'ath-lete' not 'ath-a-lete'. Just had to squeeze that itty bitty tidbit in there for the hood babies :-)
What makes a woman aspire to be a gold digger?
Again, I really do not know, but if I had to be honest (which I always am), a woman who aspires to be a gold digger is really lazy. She wants to shop all day, sleep, eat all day and just spend up somebody's else's ends, in exchange for her high-mileage 'intimate goody parts'. And no, 'intimate goody parts' with high mileage are not like luxury cars lol i.e. the more mileage on a BMW, the better it drives.... That's just my opinion.. Let's classify ALL "intimate goody parts" as regular old Fords, shall we? :-)
How do we reform gold diggers?
I really do not know this either lol But again, I shall take a whack at this question.. Maybe we should make them watch For Colored Girls. Idk how it can help, but that movie sure as heck scared the "ba-jesus" out of me...
What do you think? What defines a gold digger? Do you know any professional gold diggers?
Until next time, BYE BABIES!
S/O to us for having OVER 150 views yesterday alone.. Go us, go us, go us!!
Today's topic will be GOLD DIGGERS *cues up Kanye West/Jamie Foxx hit*
"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke n****!" ....
*insert side eye*
Personally, I have never been a gold digger. I believe in working for mine and not asking for a handout.. That is just me..
Yes, I have a dated a celebrity or two in my day (a rapper and a singer), but I was certain that I could not be classified as a gold digger. When this topic came up recently in an office game, somebody asked me was I a reformed gold digger?
Excuse you country bumpkin?!
*insert side laser beam from the Matrix to the miggity max*
I politely smiled and said, "No, my foundation, upbringing and DNA will never allow me to be one who digs for gold that does not belong to me."
What classifies a woman as a gold digger?
Personally, I think a gold digger can be classified or defined as the type of woman who slangs her intimate goodies to and fro while on the celeb man hunt for "financial greatness". Plainly put, she fu**s for bucks.. but only athletes, wealthy men, singers, rappers, etc...
Sidenote: 'Athlete' is a two syllable word, not a three syllable word. Pronounced 'ath-lete' not 'ath-a-lete'. Just had to squeeze that itty bitty tidbit in there for the hood babies :-)
What makes a woman aspire to be a gold digger?
Again, I really do not know, but if I had to be honest (which I always am), a woman who aspires to be a gold digger is really lazy. She wants to shop all day, sleep, eat all day and just spend up somebody's else's ends, in exchange for her high-mileage 'intimate goody parts'. And no, 'intimate goody parts' with high mileage are not like luxury cars lol i.e. the more mileage on a BMW, the better it drives.... That's just my opinion.. Let's classify ALL "intimate goody parts" as regular old Fords, shall we? :-)
How do we reform gold diggers?
I really do not know this either lol But again, I shall take a whack at this question.. Maybe we should make them watch For Colored Girls. Idk how it can help, but that movie sure as heck scared the "ba-jesus" out of me...
What do you think? What defines a gold digger? Do you know any professional gold diggers?
Until next time, BYE BABIES!
January 5, 2012
Income Tax Refund Ballers....
Good Morning All!
S/O to my new follower, Tie!!
ALSO, A BIG HAPPY FOUNDER'S DAY TO THE MEN OF KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INCORPORATED!!!!! SKEE-YO NUPES!
S/O to us getting another 40 views from last night ... Hip Hip Hooray Haters! lol
Now, that my shoutouts are done, I got a topic suggestion last night, but I debated did I want to write about it.. However, I chose to weigh in and give my "Oh Eight" cents on this topic which is Income Tax Refund Ballers... Whoop-Whoop to all of y'all - I am not hating!!
Anyhow, let me break this down for my people who aren't hip or down to the lingo of "INCOME TAX REFUND CHECK BALLERATION"
Plainly put, the government gives you money back when you file saying that you paid too much in taxes based on your income, family size, claimed dependents, etc.. from the previous year.. They either send you a check or do an EFT (electronic funds transfer) directly to your bank account. Now, that you are caught up, I want to give a few DOs and DON'Ts for your balleration season..
Now pay very, very close attention....
Dos
1- Please DO invest some of that money. Even if it is a small amount. Whether you increase your % going into your 401K for a while, put the extra cash into a small CD or even getting an interest bearing savings account, they are allll good options instead of blowing that cash on his and her matching Jordans and coordinating "get-ups"
2- Please DO tithe. I'm just saying, this really does not need an explanation. God blessed you! Like Spike Lee says, "Do the right thing!"
3- Please DO give a portion to others that are LESS fortunate than you. Whether it be someone you know or not, it is ALWAYS a blessing to give back to others. Plus, who doesn't like that warm and fuzzy feeling?
4- Please DO volunteer. Some of you will NOT give any of that luchini away, so why not volunteer and DONATE some time to those that are less fortunate.. Again, those warm and fuzzies are FREE!
5- Please DO remember that your child(ren) are watching you. Be a good example for them and also a good steward of your money.... Even if you do NOTHING else, please DO this!
DON'Ts
1- Please DON'T take ANY sort of FB/Twitter/MySpace pic (or any pic POINT BLANK PERIOD) with your money thrown all over the place on your bed with the caption *insert Lil Wayne nasal alien druggie voice* "BALL 'TIL I FALL I DUN DID IT FO' MY DAWGS!" Please. Don't. Not. Ever. Thanks, Management!
2- Please DON'T lose your job/regular income by losing your darn-tooting mind. i.e. Calling in to work, no call/no shows, etc.. Let's be smart people.... Or at least for some of you, let's pretend to be smart with our actions.
3- Please DON'T forget that rims, daytons, "them thangs" or sounds, "bumps", etc are not MADE FOR and suited to be propped up and installed in EVERY car model. Just don't. Just stop. Please. I beg of thee.
4- Please DON'T claim other people's child(ren) or sell your child(ren). GOSH! This is soooo tacky and ILLEGAL, by the way. Now, if you really are the primary caregiver, my hats off to you, but if you are looking for a hefty pay day for somebody else's "chi'ren", shame on you and your HotGhettoMess.com-isms.
5- Please DON'T buy EVERY piece of expensive REMY, Indian Hair, Black Diamond, and all of those other expensive brands of weaves that celebrities wear.... Gosh, I hate seeing Income Tax Refund Weaves... Your hair can not be short enough to roll with Uncle Ben's rice and then overnight, you have Beyonce tresses with your Body Magic on and green eyes smh lol I cant.. I just cant. I wont. Ever.
Now, that you have these OH SO IMPORTANT DOs and DON'Ts, please take heed! Pass along to others, even if this does not apply to you...
I, for one, do not have kids and I don't any kind of refund... worth balling out of control for.. IJS..
WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!
But, until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!!
S/O to my new follower, Tie!!
ALSO, A BIG HAPPY FOUNDER'S DAY TO THE MEN OF KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INCORPORATED!!!!! SKEE-YO NUPES!
S/O to us getting another 40 views from last night ... Hip Hip Hooray Haters! lol
Now, that my shoutouts are done, I got a topic suggestion last night, but I debated did I want to write about it.. However, I chose to weigh in and give my "Oh Eight" cents on this topic which is Income Tax Refund Ballers... Whoop-Whoop to all of y'all - I am not hating!!
Anyhow, let me break this down for my people who aren't hip or down to the lingo of "INCOME TAX REFUND CHECK BALLERATION"
Plainly put, the government gives you money back when you file saying that you paid too much in taxes based on your income, family size, claimed dependents, etc.. from the previous year.. They either send you a check or do an EFT (electronic funds transfer) directly to your bank account. Now, that you are caught up, I want to give a few DOs and DON'Ts for your balleration season..
Now pay very, very close attention....
Dos
1- Please DO invest some of that money. Even if it is a small amount. Whether you increase your % going into your 401K for a while, put the extra cash into a small CD or even getting an interest bearing savings account, they are allll good options instead of blowing that cash on his and her matching Jordans and coordinating "get-ups"
2- Please DO tithe. I'm just saying, this really does not need an explanation. God blessed you! Like Spike Lee says, "Do the right thing!"
3- Please DO give a portion to others that are LESS fortunate than you. Whether it be someone you know or not, it is ALWAYS a blessing to give back to others. Plus, who doesn't like that warm and fuzzy feeling?
4- Please DO volunteer. Some of you will NOT give any of that luchini away, so why not volunteer and DONATE some time to those that are less fortunate.. Again, those warm and fuzzies are FREE!
5- Please DO remember that your child(ren) are watching you. Be a good example for them and also a good steward of your money.... Even if you do NOTHING else, please DO this!
DON'Ts
1- Please DON'T take ANY sort of FB/Twitter/MySpace pic (or any pic POINT BLANK PERIOD) with your money thrown all over the place on your bed with the caption *insert Lil Wayne nasal alien druggie voice* "BALL 'TIL I FALL I DUN DID IT FO' MY DAWGS!" Please. Don't. Not. Ever. Thanks, Management!
2- Please DON'T lose your job/regular income by losing your darn-tooting mind. i.e. Calling in to work, no call/no shows, etc.. Let's be smart people.... Or at least for some of you, let's pretend to be smart with our actions.
3- Please DON'T forget that rims, daytons, "them thangs" or sounds, "bumps", etc are not MADE FOR and suited to be propped up and installed in EVERY car model. Just don't. Just stop. Please. I beg of thee.
4- Please DON'T claim other people's child(ren) or sell your child(ren). GOSH! This is soooo tacky and ILLEGAL, by the way. Now, if you really are the primary caregiver, my hats off to you, but if you are looking for a hefty pay day for somebody else's "chi'ren", shame on you and your HotGhettoMess.com-isms.
5- Please DON'T buy EVERY piece of expensive REMY, Indian Hair, Black Diamond, and all of those other expensive brands of weaves that celebrities wear.... Gosh, I hate seeing Income Tax Refund Weaves... Your hair can not be short enough to roll with Uncle Ben's rice and then overnight, you have Beyonce tresses with your Body Magic on and green eyes smh lol I cant.. I just cant. I wont. Ever.
Now, that you have these OH SO IMPORTANT DOs and DON'Ts, please take heed! Pass along to others, even if this does not apply to you...
I, for one, do not have kids and I don't any kind of refund... worth balling out of control for.. IJS..
WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!
But, until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!!
January 4, 2012
Single Motherhood
Good Morning to all of you out there!
First off, I want to send a big thank you to all of the people who came, viewed and read my blog yesterday. We got 105 visits yesterday.. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!! *e-tootsie rolls*
I'm at work today and I feel a wee bit under the weather. When I woke up, I was feeling fine. By the time I got dressed, I had a wee bit of nausea. By the time I got to work and sat at my desk, I was running out of my office to vomit.
When I came out, one of the managers asked me was I pregnant. *insert evil side eye to the miggity max*
I turned around and said, "Not unless Jesus himself deemed it appropriate!!" and I walked away.
After I hurled my life away, I felt a lot better. A little weak and dizzy, but better. It felt like I probably had eaten something bad, but who knows?
Anyhow, now people are sidestepping past my office and whispering to each other.. Childish.. Or as the French would say "Chi-la-dee-shay" lol
This kind of brings to want to write about my next proposed topic: Single Motherhood
Not certain why somebody would want my opinion on Single Motherhood, being that I am just single and never been anybody's momma lol But here goes nothing..... *drumroll please*
I think Single Mothers (the good ones anyway) are the undercover superheroes of our generation. They are looked down upon and frowned upon, however, these are the women that wake up, cook breakfast, clean the kitchen, take the kids to school, go to work 40+ hours a week to provide for their child(ren).. After working 8+ hours a day, they pick their kids up, take them home, cook dinner, do homework, give baths, do hair, dry tears, administer butt kickings/timeouts, clean the kitchen, load the dishwasher, load the washer, iron clothes, fold clothes, etc.. just to wake up and do it all again with no help (most often) from the male specimen who offered up his chromosomes.
Hats off to you sistas! (and sisters!)
Sidenote: {If you do not know the difference between a sista and a sister, then watch the "Lynn's Gotcha Day" episode on Girlfriends when Lynn's sister visits.. Toni's breaks it down as to whom is a sistahhhhh and a sisterrrrr) LOL JK, but the episode is PRETTY hilar and eye-opening.
Anywho, Single Motherhood (whether by choice or default) is unfair to everyone involved for obvious reasons:
1- The child(ren) are deprived of a father figure. For girls and boys, this can deal a heavy negative blow to the psychological development and have an adverse effect if the child(ren) does not understand "why Daddy is not around"
2- The mother is loaded down with not only being a good parent, but she must have a role of duality and be "good parents" by herself, which is downright stressful financially, emotionally and spiritually.
I do not fear a lot, but I do fear being somebody's "baby mama." Like, that reallllllyy scares me.. Honestly.. Anybody that realllly knows me, knows that about me *insert side eye to my "friends"*
Not saying that once I am married, divorce will be a non-factor, but I only want to get married once.. Kids will be something that we both decide we are ready for and our marriage/relationship is strong enough to handle kids.
But, they always say, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans...."
I'm sure God just bust a gut laughing at me..
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!!!
First off, I want to send a big thank you to all of the people who came, viewed and read my blog yesterday. We got 105 visits yesterday.. WHOO HOO!!!!!!!! *e-tootsie rolls*
I'm at work today and I feel a wee bit under the weather. When I woke up, I was feeling fine. By the time I got dressed, I had a wee bit of nausea. By the time I got to work and sat at my desk, I was running out of my office to vomit.
When I came out, one of the managers asked me was I pregnant. *insert evil side eye to the miggity max*
I turned around and said, "Not unless Jesus himself deemed it appropriate!!" and I walked away.
After I hurled my life away, I felt a lot better. A little weak and dizzy, but better. It felt like I probably had eaten something bad, but who knows?
Anyhow, now people are sidestepping past my office and whispering to each other.. Childish.. Or as the French would say "Chi-la-dee-shay" lol
This kind of brings to want to write about my next proposed topic: Single Motherhood
Not certain why somebody would want my opinion on Single Motherhood, being that I am just single and never been anybody's momma lol But here goes nothing..... *drumroll please*
I think Single Mothers (the good ones anyway) are the undercover superheroes of our generation. They are looked down upon and frowned upon, however, these are the women that wake up, cook breakfast, clean the kitchen, take the kids to school, go to work 40+ hours a week to provide for their child(ren).. After working 8+ hours a day, they pick their kids up, take them home, cook dinner, do homework, give baths, do hair, dry tears, administer butt kickings/timeouts, clean the kitchen, load the dishwasher, load the washer, iron clothes, fold clothes, etc.. just to wake up and do it all again with no help (most often) from the male specimen who offered up his chromosomes.
Hats off to you sistas! (and sisters!)
Sidenote: {If you do not know the difference between a sista and a sister, then watch the "Lynn's Gotcha Day" episode on Girlfriends when Lynn's sister visits.. Toni's breaks it down as to whom is a sistahhhhh and a sisterrrrr) LOL JK, but the episode is PRETTY hilar and eye-opening.
Anywho, Single Motherhood (whether by choice or default) is unfair to everyone involved for obvious reasons:
1- The child(ren) are deprived of a father figure. For girls and boys, this can deal a heavy negative blow to the psychological development and have an adverse effect if the child(ren) does not understand "why Daddy is not around"
2- The mother is loaded down with not only being a good parent, but she must have a role of duality and be "good parents" by herself, which is downright stressful financially, emotionally and spiritually.
I do not fear a lot, but I do fear being somebody's "baby mama." Like, that reallllllyy scares me.. Honestly.. Anybody that realllly knows me, knows that about me *insert side eye to my "friends"*
Not saying that once I am married, divorce will be a non-factor, but I only want to get married once.. Kids will be something that we both decide we are ready for and our marriage/relationship is strong enough to handle kids.
But, they always say, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans...."
I'm sure God just bust a gut laughing at me..
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!!!!!!
January 3, 2012
Getting In Your Own Way.. Stop.. Repeat.. Let it sink in
Ok, maybe I am blog happy today.. But, this blog is long overdue..
As humans, we are not perfect.. We are ALLLL infallible by nature. Of course, we have the nasty habit of getting in our OWN way.. Sabotaging something that could be for our own good..
A previous blog of mine (5/2009: Crossroads: Fear's Bitch) covers this topic a bit.. http://realrawuncuttruth.blogspot.com/2009/05/crossroads-fears-bitch.html In summation? Don't let fear make you its' bitch.. Good read!! I'll wait....
....
....
....... Ok, now that you are caught up, you see how we as humans can be become complacent or be ok with "NOT" winning that we become "Professional Losers" in a sense. :-) LBS
For example, women (I've done this before too) will sabotage a PERFECTLY good relationship with a guy trying to be loyal to something or somebody who is as loyal as their options.. Don't commit to somebody who can not fully commit to you on mutual terms, i.e. Don't let a guy keep winning when you are essentially losing.
What I mean is, if he is not ready for a relationship, that does NOT mean, play house with this clown and share intimate goody parts on demand.
Think about it: He is "not ready" to commit or put a label on what you guys are doing, but he is "ready" to do the following:
1- Share those private intimate goody parts
2- Wants you two to be exclusive on the dating scene
3- Spend the night
4- All other types of ill sh**
Why pretend with somebody who may NEVER be ready when you have somebody who is READY, WILLING and ALREADY THERE?? O_O
I'll just put it out there.. I gave up on what could have been "the real thing" for me for something that I thought had potential. Why give up potential when you have the real thing right in front of you?
Because we as women are wayyy too loyal for our own good, which is not a bad thing, but again, never be loyal to somebody who is keeping the title position "warm and open" for the next best thing that comes along.. That is just dumb..
Yes, I admit it... I had a DUMB moment.. *gasps*
"I once was lost, but now I'm found.."
Now that I am older, I can look back and learn from what I did. Never put somebody else's needs before your own. Don't be "so loyal" to the point that you are missing out for another person. Don't ignore what could be your blessings for a fork in the road.. A dumb fork at that.. lol You could be left STRANDED wondering what if, yelling "Why wasn't I the one?????"
BTW, I have made amends with my Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now has definitely bitten the dust..
I told somebody I would write this for them today.. So this is ANOTHER bonus blog..
BTW, I guess I was missed since I am getting requests on what topics to write about..
If you would like for me to write on a topic, please feel free to put that in the comments section below..
COMING SOON: Me and a male friend of mine will be working out the terms of doing a weekly joint blog.. Format, topics, etc.. are still under negotiations.. Hopefully, it all works out..
Until next time, Ciao!
As humans, we are not perfect.. We are ALLLL infallible by nature. Of course, we have the nasty habit of getting in our OWN way.. Sabotaging something that could be for our own good..
A previous blog of mine (5/2009: Crossroads: Fear's Bitch) covers this topic a bit.. http://realrawuncuttruth.blogspot.com/2009/05/crossroads-fears-bitch.html In summation? Don't let fear make you its' bitch.. Good read!! I'll wait....
....
....
....... Ok, now that you are caught up, you see how we as humans can be become complacent or be ok with "NOT" winning that we become "Professional Losers" in a sense. :-) LBS
For example, women (I've done this before too) will sabotage a PERFECTLY good relationship with a guy trying to be loyal to something or somebody who is as loyal as their options.. Don't commit to somebody who can not fully commit to you on mutual terms, i.e. Don't let a guy keep winning when you are essentially losing.
What I mean is, if he is not ready for a relationship, that does NOT mean, play house with this clown and share intimate goody parts on demand.
Think about it: He is "not ready" to commit or put a label on what you guys are doing, but he is "ready" to do the following:
1- Share those private intimate goody parts
2- Wants you two to be exclusive on the dating scene
3- Spend the night
4- All other types of ill sh**
Why pretend with somebody who may NEVER be ready when you have somebody who is READY, WILLING and ALREADY THERE?? O_O
I'll just put it out there.. I gave up on what could have been "the real thing" for me for something that I thought had potential. Why give up potential when you have the real thing right in front of you?
Because we as women are wayyy too loyal for our own good, which is not a bad thing, but again, never be loyal to somebody who is keeping the title position "warm and open" for the next best thing that comes along.. That is just dumb..
Yes, I admit it... I had a DUMB moment.. *gasps*
"I once was lost, but now I'm found.."
Now that I am older, I can look back and learn from what I did. Never put somebody else's needs before your own. Don't be "so loyal" to the point that you are missing out for another person. Don't ignore what could be your blessings for a fork in the road.. A dumb fork at that.. lol You could be left STRANDED wondering what if, yelling "Why wasn't I the one?????"
BTW, I have made amends with my Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now has definitely bitten the dust..
I told somebody I would write this for them today.. So this is ANOTHER bonus blog..
BTW, I guess I was missed since I am getting requests on what topics to write about..
If you would like for me to write on a topic, please feel free to put that in the comments section below..
COMING SOON: Me and a male friend of mine will be working out the terms of doing a weekly joint blog.. Format, topics, etc.. are still under negotiations.. Hopefully, it all works out..
Until next time, Ciao!
Single in the City: Yes, that's me
Good Morning Everyone!
Again, I am fulfilling my promise of coming back to my true love, writing. This blog really helps me with expressing the thoughts I have.
Today the topic is Single in the City..
I know all of you can not help but to be compare the title of my blog to the infamous tv show, Sex in the City, but ya girl is Single (Sing-gahl-lay as the Croatians pronounce it LOL) and I am okay with it.
It seems as if the types of guys that are interested in me right now are not on my level or caliber. Now, I am not one to judge, but... Just MARVEL at some of these HotMesses.com recently approaching me..
You can not be MARRIED trying to date me, saying, "My girlfriend and wife gave me permission via text message to take you out for drinks!"
You also can not STILL BE IN LOVE with your EX-girlfriend, talking about "Take a chance on me; I'm not as bitter as I used to be!"
You also can not proclaim to be moving on being SINGLE, but you are with your EX-wife saying, "This is my Queen; everyone else is secondary!"
People I could not make this stuff up if I tried.. *side eye to the max*
These are ALLLLLLL situations that have been presented to me..
Honestly, it probably should have soured me on dating completely, but it has not.
However, I am opting to take a break. On dating. I am focusing on me again.
Most guys at my age are in love with life or their career/career aspirations; maybe I should learn to "Think Like A Man" in this instance... (That book was stupid as waterproof hair gel.. IJS)
Now, my break is going to be my break until a suitor comes along willing and able to take the time to court me.. Yes, courting is still something we women want, need and require in this day and age.
Until next time, HOLLLAAA!! Next topic will be... Single Motherhood!
Again, I am fulfilling my promise of coming back to my true love, writing. This blog really helps me with expressing the thoughts I have.
Today the topic is Single in the City..
I know all of you can not help but to be compare the title of my blog to the infamous tv show, Sex in the City, but ya girl is Single (Sing-gahl-lay as the Croatians pronounce it LOL) and I am okay with it.
It seems as if the types of guys that are interested in me right now are not on my level or caliber. Now, I am not one to judge, but... Just MARVEL at some of these HotMesses.com recently approaching me..
You can not be MARRIED trying to date me, saying, "My girlfriend and wife gave me permission via text message to take you out for drinks!"
You also can not STILL BE IN LOVE with your EX-girlfriend, talking about "Take a chance on me; I'm not as bitter as I used to be!"
You also can not proclaim to be moving on being SINGLE, but you are with your EX-wife saying, "This is my Queen; everyone else is secondary!"
People I could not make this stuff up if I tried.. *side eye to the max*
These are ALLLLLLL situations that have been presented to me..
Honestly, it probably should have soured me on dating completely, but it has not.
However, I am opting to take a break. On dating. I am focusing on me again.
Most guys at my age are in love with life or their career/career aspirations; maybe I should learn to "Think Like A Man" in this instance... (That book was stupid as waterproof hair gel.. IJS)
Now, my break is going to be my break until a suitor comes along willing and able to take the time to court me.. Yes, courting is still something we women want, need and require in this day and age.
Until next time, HOLLLAAA!! Next topic will be... Single Motherhood!
Ok, this is real cute y'all lol
Wow... Guess who is biz-ack?!?! It is I!
So, kind of got locked out of the account and the powers that be did not want to transfer all of my old blogs over to the new account.. I call bullshiggity.. Aren't you glad I did not give up?!?
Anyway, I vow to do much better this year with blogging.. At least one blog a week - that I can promise you.
However, a lot has taken place and changed, so let's see if I can catch you up as soon as possible, mm-kay?!
Even though I had already "graduated" with my M.A., I actually waited to walk because my mother wanted me to.. YAY ME!
A week after walking, I moved to Spring Hill, TN. 3 months after that, I migrated a smidgen further north in Nashville, TN.
The guy I was dating back in 2009? Yea, I dumped him because he said "my ambitions and education made him feel like less of a man" then he turns around and sleeps with his best friends girlfriend o_O
Started dating a new guy in February 2010 - I dumped him in July 2011 for reasons I choose not to pontificate further on lol Let's just say..... Side EYE to the miggity-max!
However, it is 2012! I am doing me this year, like every year.. Progress is the result of being stagnant, I say.
I think you guys are caught up... Nashville has been interesting, but with great struggle comes great reward..
Since I have neglected my blog for so long, I think I will post again later today.. Topic for the next post will be Single in the City: Yes, that's me!
Until next time.... Hollllaaaa!!!!
So, kind of got locked out of the account and the powers that be did not want to transfer all of my old blogs over to the new account.. I call bullshiggity.. Aren't you glad I did not give up?!?
Anyway, I vow to do much better this year with blogging.. At least one blog a week - that I can promise you.
However, a lot has taken place and changed, so let's see if I can catch you up as soon as possible, mm-kay?!
Even though I had already "graduated" with my M.A., I actually waited to walk because my mother wanted me to.. YAY ME!
A week after walking, I moved to Spring Hill, TN. 3 months after that, I migrated a smidgen further north in Nashville, TN.
The guy I was dating back in 2009? Yea, I dumped him because he said "my ambitions and education made him feel like less of a man" then he turns around and sleeps with his best friends girlfriend o_O
Started dating a new guy in February 2010 - I dumped him in July 2011 for reasons I choose not to pontificate further on lol Let's just say..... Side EYE to the miggity-max!
However, it is 2012! I am doing me this year, like every year.. Progress is the result of being stagnant, I say.
I think you guys are caught up... Nashville has been interesting, but with great struggle comes great reward..
Since I have neglected my blog for so long, I think I will post again later today.. Topic for the next post will be Single in the City: Yes, that's me!
Until next time.... Hollllaaaa!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)