Can a chick "wife" a dude up?

Good Afternoon Y'all!

Anybody that knows me knows that I LOVE me some reality tv shows. RHOA is my Sunday addiction. If you watch the show, you know a little bit about Phaedra and Apollo. Phaedra is a college educated attorney w/her own firm who is married to Apollo, a man that she grew up with who has a criminal record. For the sake of time, I won't get into detail into his past, which is nonviolent. Anyway, after Apollo got out of prison, him and Phaedra got married and began working on their family; they currently have two boys, a newborn and toddler.

Anyway, I gave you the background for this couple because it relates to my blog topic for the day:

 

CAN YOU "WIFE" A DUDE?????

 

 

Me and my friends used to joke about about 'wife'-ing a dude when we were younger. Basically, we meant in the context of "I would be in a committed relationship with him. I would pursue him. He may not be on my level (ie financially, educationally, mentally, etc..) and I can take on the task of getting him on my level." Not necessarily saying, "I will be a sugar mama" but basically guiding him to upgrade himself on his dollar, not ours.

 

Back to Phae-Phae and her hubby....

 

She is the breadwinner, she makes the decisions, she pays the bills, she has her career, husband and family (as it appears on tv), however, it looks like she does/says a lot to emasculate him as a man to "keep him in line", which is NOT COOL, no matter what the situation. Apollo is still trying to find his professional niche (again, as it appears on tv). Phaedra constantly makes reference that Apollo "knows what side his bread is buttered on", on national tv to the millions (and millions!) of at home viewers. Granted, she makes more money, but she makes NO QUALMS in making it known that Apollo is a "kept" man. People consistently point out the "upperhand" she has in her marriage...
 
..... but is it a fair title?

In a sense, is Phaedra supporting her husband,  being a sugah mama or "wife"ing a dude?

However, on the other side of the coin.....

When dudes "wife" a chick, he is admirable. He is "looking out" or "holding her down". Yes, some women get a bad rep if she jumps from peen to peen for financial support, but does the guy get a bad rep? Not often and we can attribute this to the popular saying "It ain't trickin' if you got it!"...
 
................I suppose..

Ladies, have you "wifed" a dude? Dudes, have you been "wifed"? Would you or would you be down for the cause?

Weigh in if you want...

Unti next ime....

 

Luckily, I grew up and realized you should never add pressure for a man to change himself; a man (or a person in general) changes themselves for the better or "upgrades" on their own free will. Also, I am BLESSED that my fiancé came as a TOTAL AND COMPLETE package that complements me. 

Good afternoon everybody!

I know I haven't posted in awhile, but it's a good reason, so let me catch y'all up :-)

1- I left Nashville, TN to come back to MI (I'm in Lansing, instead of Detroit)

     I'm excited to be back home. I can go see my family and friends when I want to. I don't have to deal with a superior who DENIES bereavement and tries to get me to do her work (no shade- just facts!)

2- My loving boyfriend is now my loving fiancé (yesssss- we were engaged September 18, 2013)

      He took a lot of things into consideration while planning how he would propose. All I will say for now is that I will NEVER forget that day.

3- Wedding Planning is EXCITED, now that it is no longer stressful and confusing!

     I am loving every second of planning the ceremony w/the man of my dreams. However, I would marry Will in a cardboard box, dressed in potato sack- that's how much I love him. I'm marriage minded, not wedding-obsessed. There is a difference.

4- Lansing isn't that bad lol

    P Sqaured. Deluca's. College tailgating. What more can I say?

5- I got a new job that's better than my last job in TN (no shade at all!)

     More money, better opportunity, in MI and better, more disciplined leadership in place. No place is perfect, but I am happy.

6- My hair is THRIVING and GROWING like a weed!!

    My hair is now at the top of collarbone when stretched. I still am scared to put heat on it, but whateves.... Im glad my hair is healthy.

7- It feels good to be back home near friends, family and loved ones, esp during the holidays #HoneyBoom

     I am excited to be back w/my family during the holidays and not having to use my PTO to travel so I am not alone on the holidays.

8- As of yesterday, I was recruited to start blogging for Delphine Publications.

     I will be doing book reviews, Author Q&As, GIVEAWAYS (ie products, books, CASH, etc...) SO IF YOU ARE NOT SUBSCRIBED - PLEASE SUBSCRIBE SO YOU DON'T MISS OUT!!!!!

9- Weight has been down

     Still in the gym. 4 days a week consistently. Eating better, cooking better.... getting FINE and healthy, okayyyy?

More blog posts to come later..... you can be sure of it..

STAY TUNED Y'ALL!

In Love

Good Morning Y'all!

Since yesterday was my third or fouth reintroduction post, I decided to come back and grace y'all with an actual post *cues trumpet*

So, yesterday, I caught you up on the high level things that I have been up to.. And one of them was me being in love *tunes up my AWWWWWWW chorale*

Being in love is one thing. Being in love and being long distance is something else.

Long distance relationships are great if the two people involved are loyal and devoted enough to remain faithful to one another. I'm sooooo happy that I picked a good one y'all! No little whispering from that voice inside (s/o to the spirit of discernment!) that he is up to something he has no business of doing.

I appreciate being apart of a relationship where the man is honest and genuine. In return, I give him 150% of what he gives me, so I feel this is a balanced, fulfilling relationship and he agrees.

However.... (You know this post wouldn't have spice without my 'howevers')

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU SETTLE DOWN FOR REAL ALL TYPES OF RANDOMS THROW THEMSELVES AT YOU (i.e. both parties)???? THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMM..

I mean, when I was single, nobody (and I do mean, nobody) tried to holler at me. I mean, there were guys here and there every now and again, but it seems like EVERYDAY, I catch myself saying "No, I'm not interested at all. I'm in a relationship. Have a good day!" and that's the NICE version..

Guys, why do you think it's ok to holla at a woman? I mean, literally HOLLA at a woman!

Random Guy#1: (yells) AYYYY YOU FINE AS HE** GUH!
Me: (keeps walking, ignoring random guy#1)
Random Guy #1: (yells) SHE FINE AS FU**

See what I mean. How about the 'hollering' friend and the 'good guy' sidekick. Ugh!

RanRandom Guy#1: (yells) AYYYY YOU FINE AS HE** GUH!
Me: (keeps walking, ignoring random guy#1)
Random Guy #1: (yells) SHE FINE AS FU**
Random Guy #2: (walks over) Sorry, about my friend, but you are quite attractive.
Me: Thanks, but I'm not interested. Goodbye.
Random Guy#2: I just want to be your friend.
Me: I am a friend of God and Jesus is my friend.
Random Guy #2: *confused*

I say all of this to say, men, if a woman is NOT making eye contact, please TRUST that we aren't playing the shy/coy role. Some of us don't buy into the "thirst" and are truly content in our situations. Don't bum rush us, don't yell at us, don't draw unneeded attention our way for we carry mace for that. Just chill - if a lady is interested - fellas, you will KNOW.

Until next time,

March 14, 2001 - 11 years later

Good Morning All!

I need to work on time management, but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with my post. I want to take the time to say THANK YOU to everyone who reads this blog everyday, who supports me and this blog, as well as the people that do not know me (including the people that could care less about me) but still faithfully read the blog. No, that was not a dig towards anybody (gotta issue disclaimers ever since the first blog post which was muy controversial (http://realrawuncuttruth.blogspot.com/2009/03/march-2-2009-confused.html) <--- CLICK HERE if you would like to see what I mean.

After that blog post, I got a lot of texts about "where you talking about me? Is that about me?" Whoa hoes! lol Anybody that knows me knows that I am direct.....

Anyway, after I say all that SMH, this blog is about my Father, Joe Louis Patton. If you have seen me tweeting #3.14.01, it relates to my dad. He died today 11 years ago and sometimes I still cry. I actually have randomly been crying late at night because I still hear his voice clear as day in my head. Sometimes, I do feel his spirit, especially around his birthday (near Thanksgiving), around my birthday and around the date he died.

Maybe that's why when I was watching the OWN Interview with Whitney Houston's family and daughter, I felt it was totally invasive and I was participating in the disrespect by tuning in. Honestly, I felt my dad's spirit the whole night after watching that interview. I could not go to sleep and the tears were just coming down. I can not explain why though. Maybe because I could feel Bobbi's pain. No, she was not breaking down and crying, cooning it up for TV, but at some point, you become numb and are all cried out at that point.

I feel like I should be all cried out, and sometimes I am, but other times, it feels as real and as fresh as March 14, 2001.

My dad died due to kidney failure. My stepmother found him in their bed gasping for her and called 911, who took forever to come. She called my mom as soon as they pronounced him dead, which was 9am. My mom did not tell me until 8pm that evening.

My dad lived in Philly, but I spoke to him everyday. It's crazy because he taught me a lot. And I didn't realize it so much 11 years ago, but me and him are so much alike. People that know my father and has met my dad and mom, know that I look more like him. And I have his drive, ambition and independence.

Today is always a somber day for me because I always wonder what he'd be like today, what my situation would be, if I would have made the same collegiate choices, would I be married, would I have children, etc... if my father were still alive.

Today is a day of reflection. 11 years ago, my life changed forever.

Today you should sit back and be thankful for your many blessings. God did not have to wake you up this morning. HE did not have to bless you with your home, your job or your mode of transportation. You are healthy, you are blessed, you are a child of God and you are LOVED. However "messed up" you feel your situation, it could ALWAYS be worse. So, watch that complaining. Life and death is in the power of the tongue.

Tell somebody you love them today. Pray for somebody today. Smile today, even if you feel you have nothing to smile about.

Life is not promised, just like tomorrow is not a guarantee.

UNTIL NEXT TIME....