Under the weather.... Random-osity

Hi All..

I have the absolute WORST migraine today..

I had a topic all set, but I will save that for Monday.. Maybe, I will post a bonus blog this weekend.. Wait, I will have my niece this weekend.. Scratch that pimping lol

Anyway, today we are random, since my brain feels like scrambled mo-fo'ing eggs, you are going to get treated to some random facts about me.. Random thoughts..

1 - Where do migraines come from? From the bowels of hell

2- I hate when people call you on the phone and are whispering.. WTF.. IDK what the hell you saying? You sound like a serial killer

3- Somebody just had to tell me what "DTF" means LOL LOL

4- Also, if you are not DTF, you should not take shots on a first date lol lol

5- Bobby Brown's oldest son, Landon Brown, is pretty FOINE

6- I can not see when people subscribe to my blog, but to all of you out there that do, THANKS BOOKIE BOOs.

7- I still don't know anybody in Nashville, which sucks MAJOR titty balls

8- The few people I DO know in Nashville are too busy for life, let alone being social

9- I'm glad I blocked so-and-so's number lol lol S/O to T-Mobile

10- Today was the shaft. And not the good kind. I left my lunch at home, in my bedroom.

11- Jill Scott voice is like liquid aspirin

12- Not certain why people still knock on my office door when I am at lunch and CLEARLY there is a sign on my door that announces this

13- This bottled water is giving me life, just in small baby doses.

14- I can't wait to go home and cuddle up with my.... body pillow, pillow pet and/or Snuggie

15- My birthday is February 22nd and somebody today told me that I looked like I was born on February 28th.. whatttt??!!!

Anyhow, that is about all I can muster up today.. Didn't want to fall off and not post, plus some of y'all love my random banter, so hey, why not?

Until next time..........

For The Ladies: How To DECODE If A Guy Is Feeling You

Good Morning!

Even though this blog reads that it is for the ladies, men, please feel free to read this and add ANYTHING I may have missed in my covert research :-)


I got the following urgent request from one of my fellow faithful subscribers. Please read below:

Hi Jay,

Girl, good job with the blog so far. You are dead on and
I look forward to the daily inspiration and various topics that you are so
accurate on. Kudos lady! I know that you write blogs based on personal
experience or by request and today I have an urgent request. Can you write an
honest blog on how to tell if a "guy friend" is feeling a chick? I think this
guy is giving me the green light, but I really do not know. I mean, who wants to
make a fool of themselves.

Thanks,


(Hopeful) Budding Romance

Well, first off, Budding Romance, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading the blogs and enjoying the content. I try to keep it as real as possible. Well, I have been in your situation, but I try to be a straight shooter, especially if I am reading some non verbal chemistry. There is not a true sign for reading nonverbal chemistry, but if you are around and he's all giddy, smiling and such, then just ask him is he interested in getting to know one another, maybe as something more than friends.

Second, I did ask a few guys for their opinions. Being a guy is like being in a "members only" club because you guys' actions, words and such are so covert and secretive sometimes lol. Anyway, you will find my research below:

Guy #1 is 26 y/o, African American, FOINE, no kids, no girlfriend, no prospects.... He is taking time out to focus on his career, on the graduate school track. He is open to the opportunity for love and marriage down the line.

Guy #1 says this to you:

"You know us guys are simple. If a guy really likes you, it's two things to out for. First thing is if he goes out his way to do things for you. Things that are just really out the way for them. [Things can vary from guy to guy... It can be picking up your women personal items or something that the guy does NOT have to do] The second thing is when they REALLY pay attention to the small things that you like. When a woman says smalls things, she often times thinks that he wouldn't remember and when he does, that effort goes a long way in showing you are. Overall, the guy will always put your needs and feelings over his. That's how she should know."

Well, well, well! Well dayum said Guy #1..... *e-winks*

Guy #2 is a 30 y/o businessman and a FOINE professional IT whiz. He is steady in his career track and a "socialite" in the making. He has no kids, no girlfriends and is evasive if he is looking or not. However, he is careful, when it comes to handing out his heart.

Guy #2 says:

"Well, it's really different case by case. It kind of all goes back to knowing your guy or your man. If you know him as well as he can be known, if that friendship is genuine, sharing and on an honest foundation, then you will know intuitively. However, if I am feeling somebody, I verbally let her know and then I show it through my actions."

Well said Guy #2..... Kinda short, but I guess, that will do, because it is straight to the point.. lol

Ok, now that we got the guys' opinions out of the way, I'm sure you, Hopeful Budding Romance, and the rest of my readers want to know what I think, hmmmm.... kay!

Here goes nothing....

If a guy really likes you, I mean really, really likes you, then nothing and nobody can keep him from at least telling you. Even if he is shy. I mean, if the guy is shy and you make the first move, then either way, you are good. You will either A- Confirm his feelings and go forth to having some blissful whirlwind romance or B- Stop your feelings in the tracks cuz he ain't feeling you, bookie. Honestly, if he is not feeling you, that is his loss and your gain. You won't have wasted your time and energy on somebody that was not right for you and you are not occupied when Mr. Right finally DOES come along. Please keep in mind, I am single, so err umm, maybe you should listen to the guys.. lol jk.. I truly hope that helps out..

I hope that Hopeful Budding Romance found some wisdom between myself, Guy #1 and Guy #2..

So, guys, I pose this question to you: How do you show a gal you're ga-ga for her? Were we dead on? Dead wrong? Lost with no hope of getting back even with a talking GPS?

Until next time, CIAO!!!!!!

Guy, Girls and the Shake-Shake Club

Good Afternoon to all you

S/O to the new guy who told me he was following my blog :-)

S/O to Wednesdays! lol

I've had a VERY interesting morning.... I'll leave it at that lol.. Still laughing from some of the personal, yet harmless, tomfoolery. Cheese and bread guys, cheese and bread...

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!

Today's topic is Guys inviting their girls/female friends to the Shake-Shake Club (i.e. Female Ta-Ta Bar, Female "Scrip" Club, etc)

What?!?!?! IKR.. If you don't know, you better call & ask somebody *picks up ringing cell* "Helllloooo..." lol I'm so corny.. anyway.

Apparently, the new phenomenon is girls going to the strip club with their guy friends, boyfriends or husband.... When did this happen?

When I was a young gal, a few summers past, back in high school, all of us seniors used to look forward to turning 18 to go the "shake-shake" clubs for the first time. It was kind of like a "rites of passage" type deal at my high school.

It was always a group of us girls that turned 18 around the same time. My friend's birthday was in December, my cousin's birthday was in January, my birthday was in late February and another good friend of mine's birthday was in early March, so right after that March, we went to a popular Detroit 'male' strip club to see some fine gentlemen in the nighttime hour lol.. Strippers words, not mine lol

Anyhow, we had a blast, hanging out, tipping a few bucks, even sneaking some wine because checking ID's for alcohol was unheard of at this place, which were unaware of.

Anyway, that was the good ol' days, when girls hung out at the strip club for a laugh in the name of sisterhood and fun lol

However, I must have missed the memo because the new "joint" hangout spot is at the women's shake-em-up club.

Now, I have heard about husbands and wives going there for a bit of "inspiration" to spice up a weak date night, which is a bit weird to me, but hey, if that is your cup o'tea, sip on people.

However, guys inviting girls their as "dates" or "hangout spots" seems a bit raunchy and tacky.. Like, do I have to be in the presence of another chick's tig-o-bitties to get your attention? If so, then maybe I am not flaunting the right biz-ait lol I mean, that seems as if you are trying to make a bad first impression.. Better yet, I'll tell you my first impression of you when you actually "impress" me, boo

Back to this married people nonsense.. If my husband were to say "Hey baby, let's go to *insert name of female shake joint*. I think that would spice up our date night and maybe give us ideas for later. Are you down?" If I were this guy's wife, I would feel like this is what he is saying: "Hey wife, let's go to this ti**y bar. You're wack in the sack and could learn a hot trick or two from these chicks. Also, tonight, when we do it, I am probably going to be thinking about that hot piece of a**. Are you down for my visual cheat?"

Ok, maybe that is a bit extreme, but c'mon son... Somebody's dramatic woman read that scenario and "heard" part 2 only. You know I'm right..

But, what's wrong with guy wanting to spice it up with his woman? If it works for him and her, then as previously said, tip away my brother. However, if the woman is only going to: 1- spy on her man or 2- check out other women on the sly *insert side eye*, this duo is diz-oomed for destruction.

I think a woman going to the strip club to "keep an eye on her man" is holding on to something wayy too tight that she knows deep down is not hers. Im just saying... If I got to keep a pair of eyes on my man always, that should not be my man and I would have to re-evaluate this relationship.

So, in summation, ladies and fellas, let's be honest with one another and communicate.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!!!!

Talk to your lady (or man) before heading out to see some shake'em Mc Shake'Ems lol No need to set "rules" because everyone involved should be an adult, however, make sure that you both are clear with your expectations with night of "semi" voyeurism...

Until next time, CIAO!!!

What do you think? Is communication key? Are people turning into general slore bags obsessed with sex?

Honesty, Liars and all that other miggity mess

Good Morning to all you out there!

First off, a very belated Happy Founder's Day to the women of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated (Especially my gal Rashae and my sis, Amber)

Second off, a very belated Happy Birthday to MLK!

Thirdly, a VERY Happy Birthday to the First Lady, Michelle Obama aka Chelly O!

Last, but certainly not least, a very, very Happy Founder's Day to all those oh sooo pretty girls of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated! Skee wee, my sorors, skee wee!

S/O to Beta Eta (UofM), Xi (EMU), Beta Mu (WSU), Beta Pi (B'ham), Theta Tau (MG/UDM), Delta Zeta (MSU), Iota Iota (BGSU), Delta Chi (WMU), Pi (Fisk) and of course, the LOVELY sorors from my chapter, Nu Theta (GVSU).

Whoo..

Now, that I got that out of the wayyyy.... Today's topic is HONESTY.. Yup, I said it: HONESTY..

Now, we as humans are infallible and we are programmed to eff up, make mistakes and not be perfect.

Does this mean that we are programmed to tell "untruths" and be sneaky as well? Are little white lies a factor or a non mother- *bleep* -ing factor, to quote Evelyn? I guess that is personal opinion.

Me on the other hand, I try my BEST to tell the truth at all times, especially on important matters. Yes, I may tell the white lie from time to time ("Cute sweater", "That is a cute baby", "Your head isn't that big", etc) But I really can not think of times where I have told a whopper of a lie and not come clean.... Still pondering....

Anywho, women lie. Men Lie. It's that simple and it doesn't get any simpler than that..

However, I think the severity of the lies told between the two genders are equal and it all depends on the person.

For example, when I was in high school, I lied to ALL of my boyfriends... It's true, it's true.. It was ALWAYS about me and getting a "one up" on somebody, but TRUST, they were all small white lies ("No, I don't like such-and-such", "Yes, we can go to prom together", "Yes, you are muscular", etc....) I'm sure they lied to me too.. But, Whatev..

I'm sure that is why my luck with my male counterparts has not been the best.. My karma wasn't right.. *shrugs*

However, as a grown woman, I would and could NEVER look a man in the eye and tell him a falsehood, if I cared about him or not, but especially if I cared about him.. On the other hand, some of my male counterparts may not be ready to be honest with me or themselves. I'm very direct, I try not to assume and I ask direct questions. If I have the balls to do that, please have the same balls to be honest in answering my question. I was grown enough to ask, so be an adult and reciprocate some honesty.. IJS

I do know some adults (men and women) that lie on the daily to their friends, family and/or significant other and I think it is pretty disgusting that they can claim how "grown" and independent you are, but you are lying to somebody you claim to care about.. You are manipulating and playing with peoples' lives.. and it is not right.. Honestly, that kind of karma that you are putting out in the atmosphere is not good and once it comes back around on that booty of yours, all I will have to say is "Holy Moly Donut Shop.." lol

Somebody once told me, "Why lie when the truth is so much MORE interesting?" That's the realest ish I NEVER wrote..

But, with every good lie, you have to continue the deceit and web of lies with more lying to cover up and account for the original lie.. It's pretty stressful, I would think..

Just do everyone a favor: Be Honest.


Until next time, CIAO Babies!

What do you think? Am I right, wrong, or indifferent? Have you ever told any whoppers or white lies? Is the truth that much more interesting?

Too Loyal??

Good Morning to all of you out there in e-world *e-airkisses*

S/O to alllll of the people out there who are faithful and read my blogs daily....
Big Ups to the personal texts I receive making sure I keep this up lol

ALSO, a MAJOR S/O to the Devastating Divas of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated..... Especially my mother :-D

Anyhow, today's topic will be LOYALTY

I read something today that made me question the loyalty sisters give to the brothers. Are we to loyal to the men that do not deserve our allegiance?

Situation #1- Girls befriends Dude. Dude proclaims to be her ride or die. Dude and Girl start kicking it. Dude e-cheats with skuzzbucket slore, then lies about what Girls' eyes saw *insert side eye* Girl dumps Dude, but still holds Dude down and is Dude friend.

Situation #2- Guy professes to not want to date to Girl. Girl tells Guy she understands. Guy askes Girl out more than once. Girl starts liking Guy and think Guy likes her too. Girl wants to confront Guy on his feelings, but does not want to lose Guy's friendship. Girl continues to play the friend "role".

Situation #3- Chick meets Boy. Boy and Chick go out a few weeks. Boy asks Chick for exclusivity, but says he is not ready for a relationship. Chick agrees to exclusivity. Chick and Boy share "intimate goody parts". Chick waits for Boy. Boy leaves Chick for Woman 6 months later.

Based on these basic yet real-life scenarios, the answer would be yes. In CERTAIN situations, woman are too loyal when pledging their allegiance to somebody that does not deserve that type of loyalty.

Sometimes, we as women are so anxious to feel "wanted" that we unconsciously lower our standards. We sometimes think "something is better than nothing", when sometimes, nothing is better than just any old thing.

Plainly put *grabs e-bullhorn* TOO MANY WOMEN ARE SETTLING AND MEN HAVE GOTTEN THE MEMO

Thats my honest opinion....

When you settle for less than what you deserve, you end up getting even less than what you thought you had settled for. (Let that marinate.. Repeat as OFTEN as needed..)

...I CAN ATTEST TO THIS RIGHT 'CHEA!

We as women need to realize that it is US who sometimes hold ALL of the cards and we do not even realize it. True, sometimes we need to fall back, but sometimes, we need to step up and be honest. I'd rather be honest with my feelings and let a guy leave out of my life. That means he was not meant for me and he is done wasting my time. I'd rather not waste my time guessing, hoping, waiting and assuming that what a guy wants, needs, requires and dreams of is merely waiting in the comfort of my arms alone.

I know we as women are not perfect, but we are the givers of life. The nurturers. The lovers. The leaders. The teachers. However, we are falling short on giving, nurturing, loving, leading and teaching our STAR pupils: OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.

I hope all of you can take something meaningful from this post.. I know I did..

Until next time, CIAO!!

General Rambling - 16 Random Thoughts from Me

Good Morning All

Well, today is an awesome day.. I went out with a friend last night and we had a blasty.. S/O to those margaritas....

Today's topic will basically be a lot of rambling- no real specific topic.. To keep a tad bit of organization, I will number my riggity-rants....

Sidenote: Yes, I was asked to do a blog on my random rambling.. People want to try to figure out my thought process.. I suppose.. tee-hee-hee..

1- BET's 'The Game' Season 5 premiere started off with loads of driggy-drama.. IJS.. The best part of the episode was him punching Trey Wiggs, taking the present and leaving ol' boy comatose in the driveway.. Again, that's just IMO..

2- I don't know about you, but Pretty Little Liars is THAT DEAL.. All jokes aside.. The show can do NO wrong in my eyes.. S/O to ABC Family..

3- I really can not wait for The Secret Life of the American Teenager to come back on TV.. Yay March!

4- I'm really homesick for Detroit :-(

5- Downtown Nashville has NO WHERE to park

6- I think I have a type for the type of guy I like, but I have a different type for the guy I actually date.. Weird..

7- I will be 26 on February 22, 2011, which means in 2015, I will be 30.. Maybe I won't be man-less then too lol

8- I really love Anita Baker's voice... It's like a warm red velvet cake that is miggity-moist

9- I do not drink pop, unless I am sick, then it is some ginger ale, which I love.. Not Vernor's, but Canada Dry

10- Leggings were like the coolest and most comfy thing ever invented, next to skinny jeans..

11-Miracle Whip is the BombDotCom

12- I love myself, but I can always do a better job of loving myself more.

13- To gain a true friend, you must be a true friend first.

14- Footrubs are the way to my heart.. And if you add a sandwich and a flavored tea, I may propose marriage lol

15- Reality TV is THEE most funniest thing I have been able to indulge in in quite some time.... That dayum Chrissy and Yandy (i.e. Love & Hip-Hop- Vh1)

16- From what I hear, Nashville will have its' very first snowfall since I have been a resident.. a whole half of an inch and people are going B-A-N-A-N-A-S! lol

Ok, I think I just emptied my brain....

Until next time, Too-Da-Loo!

The next topic (by request, of course) will be Interracial Relationships.... Let's ALLL cross our fingers, toes and eyes to see if my bestest male buddy will collaborate with me on this topic....

Top 3 Types of Women that EVERY Good Man Should Avoid

Good Morning to everybody tuning in this morning!

S/O to everyone that has been a faithful follower of the blog.. Writing has alwyas been a passion of mine, especially when it is on my terms, just wanted to put that out there.

Also, a major S/O to everyone that is UBER excited for the new season of The Game (BOOM BOOM CLAP, BOOM BOOM CLAP!) It comes on tonight on at 10/9c... IJS..

Back to the regularly scheduled programming....

Since I went hard on the men yesterday, I hope the ladies KNEW that today was their turn.. I mean, we are ALL about fairness and equality.. The name of the blog IS 100% Real, Raw and UnCut Truth.. Not 50%, 98%, Not 47.5%, but 100%... If this was Maury, I would be 1,000% sure.. Well maybe not, because when those chicks say "Maury, I'm 1,000% sure that he is my baby's father" those dudes are not even the father.... But, I digress!

Today, we are going to identify the Top 3 types of women that a GOOD man should AVOID..

First off, let's define a GOOD woman, since EVERYBODY wants to classify themselves as such, even the slores and skuzzbucket chicks..

Good Woman - Educated, financially independent, hustler, proud, with or without children BUT is she has them, she doesn't accept having kids as being a "setback" or a "tax write-off" but a cherished blessing and investment of love :-)

I think that covers it..

BUT...

If you are still confused, I will do a BLATANT "CATCH" and "FUMBLE" example again.... I know you guys loved them yesterday :-D

Example #1- Gina just got her MBA, is working towards opening her own boutique temp agency that caters to a special population/clientele. Currently, she is a legal assistant at a moderately sized firm. She has her own loft, her own mode of transportation and she has a 4 year old son who's father chooses to not be in his life.

Example #2- Tish dropped out of high school 8 years ago. She refuses to get her GED, even though a she knows of a few programs that would not charge her anything in pursuing this opportunity. Tish is content living off of the government. She has 6 babies and is currently 2 month pregnant with twins. She is still stripping before she starts showing. Tish lives with her friend, Lena, who is also a stripper and mother of 4.

If you guessed that Gina was the "CATCH" and Tish was the "FUMBLE", then you were right. Tish is a BLATANT fumble because she can get a program to pay for her to better herself by getting a GED but chooses not to. By doing this, it does not set a good example for her children. Her being a stripper and on government aid is not the BLATANT fumble part, but the fact that she does not WANT more for herself and her children solidifies her "FUMBLE"-osity-ness. lol Yes, I make up words from time to time..

Sidenote: There is nothing wrong with dating somebody with kids, especially if they have their stuff together. But if the person is a hot mess and adds kids to the mix, RUN! AS. FAST. AS. YOU. CAN. IJS

Now, like yesterday, this list is NOT all inclusive for the "undateable" women, but this list does highlight the top 3 women that a good man should stay away from, unless he wants to be tainted and scarred for years to come....

Type #1- The Dashiki

Who is she? The Dashiki is the women with so many kids that she puts Mrs. Wayans and Mrs. Jackson to shame... The thing is, The Dashiki has so many baby fathers, her bedroom door has to be revolving one. The Dashiki is also known as "The Panty-less One".

How to spot her? You can spot her ANYWHERE with the tightest, most revealing outfit. Walmart, Target, Doctor's Office, The Club, etc.. Unitard and heels is her uniform and she is looking for a sponsor. The type of outfit that if she burps, her ovaries will be visible. The thing is, she NEVER takes her kids anywhere, so you may not know she is "The Dashiki". Another way to spot her would be to ask her, but she is trained to deflect and avoid these direct questions.

How to get rid of her? You can out her and get rid of her by hinting around how much you have always wanted a big family and you don't mind taking care of other people's responsibilities. After awhile, she will confess and you can show her the door for living that "trife life".

Type #2- The Stalker

Who is she? This Creepy Mc Creeperton is just a weirdo to the max. She is also known as the delusional one. She stalks Facebook and Twitter pages.. Subscribing to every tweet and status update. The bad thing is... most men do not know this h** is stalking that a** until you dump her.

How to spot her? The Stalker is a REAL chameleon. She will camouflage her crazy-ness until it is too late for you to realize that this h** is crazier than a fish with titties.. IJS lol.. Anyhow, you can spot her because she is toooo emotionally needy. She wants you to spend every waking moment calling, texting, tweeting, fb'ing her.. Or at least updating her on your location, who you are with, how long you will be there, who are there with, etc.. And if you miss an update, she will "spazz out irrationally". She is always speaking "long term" with dudes, she is EXTREMELY passive-aggressive.

How to get rid of her? Honestly, I am not sure. Once you dump her, she is going to believe that you are playing hard to get. She also is going to stalk that a**. *Kanye West Shrug* I would say when you break up with her, do it in a public place, have a tape recorder on you and witnesses on hand because this crazy fruit doesn't play fair.

Type #3- The Lazy Lounger

Who is she? This lady is lazy to the TEE. She doesn't like to go to work, she doesn't like to go to school (whether it is free or not), she has questionable hygiene and she wants to be a mooch. This chick prefers handouts and people (guys, friends, family, etc) doing stuff for her to make things easier for her.

How to spot her? This chick is forever whining about "What have you done for me lately?!!" and her last name is MOST CERTAINLY not JACKSON! You can spot her asking for something.. Always.. "Can I have .15?" "Can I have a $1?" "Can you pay for my gas?" "Can you do my homework for me?" "Can you get me a gift card?" etc.. You never will hear this person asking for what they REALLY need: "CAN I BORROW A JOB?" You can easily spot this chick because everytime you text her WYD, her reply is ALWAYS the SAME: Just Chillin' *insert side eye*

How to get rid of her? Everytime she comes over, start asking her to help clean up, pitch in with bills, etc.. Also, stop helping her out and complain of a "most recent cash flow issue." She will bolt faster than an aspiring model after leaving a buffet line LOL

Well, I hope I answered your question..... Please feel free to weigh in below.. What do you think? Was I dead on? Was I dead wrong?

Until next time, CIAO BABIES!!!!