Letter Advice - We Aren't Compatible, but I still want him..

Good afternoon good people..

Last night, I went to Zumi.. Nice spot, but I gotta go back when I'm not tired and when I have some time to bliggity blow..

S/O to KP- my homey may have the flu.. Feel better hunny....

S/O to this thunderstorm watch going on in the Nash right now.. Dude, when it rains here, IT RAINS!.. NO WAY JOSE!

Anyway, let's get into another letter....

Dear Jen,

Love the blog. Great job. I've known you for quite a  bit and I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your level of writing, expertise, humor and candor. Anyway, I write to you because I am interested in this guy but it seems like we are incompatible. We are still in the 'getting to know you' phase after 5 months of hanging out, getting drinks or grabbing dinner. Is that normal? He seems to be a bit more reserved and I'm not shy by far, but he seems to make me shy. What does that mean? I really don't know if he is interested or not. He wants me to go out and meet people, but when I do, he always has a crass opinion or comment about any of the other guys I may have dates with. I've come to the understanding that he is not interested in me, but then he will try to flirt with me and encouraging me to flirt back with him. Please help.

Sincerely,
Confused & Not Compatible

Dear Confused & Not Compatible,

Thanks for the love and support. You have known me for awhile, but I am glad this blog is taking you a level deeper into my own insight. Refreshing, isn't it? Wow, still in the 'getting to know you' phase after 5 months? Sounds like the friend zone to me, unless this guy is socially retarded or awkward. IJS. Maybe that is normal for him, but obviously it is not normal for you based on your past or preconceived notions. Maybe you should talk to him about. Even if you are friends, you need to be able to communicate freely with him. So, ask him are you guys friends? If he responds yes, then tell him you don't understand why you two are still in the "getting to know you" phase after 5 months. If he makes you shy, then maybe you like him and are feeding into the insecurities that he may not feel the same. Sounds like he definitely sending you mixed signals. Le Sigh. Call bullshiggity and place your cards on the table. He can't suggest you go on dates, but then act super salty when you bring it up... C'mon son!!!

What do you think? Does Confused have a reason to be confused? Is he suitor sending mixed signals?

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

Letter Advice - My Boyfriend is fading away....

Good Morning....

Daily double people..... And I'm tired lol

This letter was sent to me asking for advice. With their permission, I have posted the following:

Dear Jen,

I love the blog. Love your writing style and quirky ways of keeping it real. Please stick with the blog this time. It is very refreshing and the highlight of my day. Anyway, I write to you as a 28 year old AA woman who has her stuff together. I have a career and I pay my bills on time with no assistance. That alone is simple enough, but rare to find. You know what I mean? Anyway, my boyfriend is 26 and it seems like our fire has fizzled. We have been together for about 3 years and we are content. He has not mentioned marriage, but we both agree that long term commitment is something that we both would like to work on together. However, he is still struggling to make his mark on the world professionally, if you get my drift. As of late, it seems that the romance in our union has fizzled. He kisses me and we go through the motions, but he seems distant. He seems as if his mind is elsewhere. When I called him on it, he said he had a lot on his mind and he was stressed out. He did apologize, saying he would do better. What should I do? Should I give him time? Should I give him space? Is he telling me the truth? Please help.

Thanks,
Neglected & Not Happy About It

Dear Neglected & Not Happy About It,

Thanks for showing the blog love. I appreciate it greatly.... However, after 3 years, you and your man have discussed long term commitment, but not marriage specifically. Are you worried that you have invested 3 years and you may not get that return on your investment? I ask that because you mentioned the long-term commitment talk and stated not marriage specifically piece first, before you went in to explain how the romance has fizzled. Maybe you should examine that with yourself a bit deeper.

Now, maybe your man is telling the truth. When a man is stressed out about he can provide for himself and future, that becomes his main focus, especially at his ago. He can't even begin to fathom marriage, commitment, kids, etc until he knows he can provide financially. Sometimes, a man can't feel like a man unless he is the breadwinner and provider, so why take a wife when you are not together.. A man wants to offer his best, not his subpar. Yes, give him time. Yes, give him some space. Yes, communicate this to him. Say something like "I know you are going through a lot. I'm here if you need to talk. I love you. I appreciate everything you are doing right now. I just want to let you know that I feel your stress and I really want to help. Just know that I'm here and I love you." That will speak volumes because you aren't prying, you aren't mandating a confession, you're not being accusatory or nagging..... It opens the door of communication and leaves the ball in his court.

BEST OF LUCK,
JEN

What do you think? Any words for Neglected & Not Happy About It? Was I dead on or dead wrong?

UNTIL NEXT TIME....

Food Review - McDougall's

Good Morning All!

Still recharging my dead battery.... Going home - Sleep + Partying EXTRA hard = 1 Drained Chick

Yea, Yea, I know....

Over the weekend, I did some tutoring and yesterday, I had my orientation to begin volunteering at a women's crisis center. When you get, you give. When you learn, you teach. Thus, why I am doing both.

Anyway, Sunday, I was driving around and got hungry. When I put "good food" in my GPS, a place called McDougall's came up.

When I got there, I realized that the place was a hole in the wall student wing joint. O..k..

I ordered my food and waited about 15 minutes.

OMG - THIS FOOD WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!! SIMPLY PUT, A-MAY-ZA-ZING!

I got the HoneyBee sauce and the BBQ with plain fries and ranch on the side. LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY!

They have earned the Jennifer Stamp of Approval.. IJS

This is NOT a date establishment, but it is a nice place to grab food with friends. They even give away free ice cream for customers.. (How awesome is that?!)

I think they also sold beer, tenders, salads and sandwiches....

Right next door is a sushi place called Zumi's and my friend, Sharese, had previously told me about that place, so that is next on my schedule of "quick - yet fulfilling- eats"..

NEXT TOPIC IS A LETTER FROM A FOLLOWER, Relationship advice.....

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

....Recharging.... (Birthday Post)

Good Morning to all of you!!!!

Just a quick few check-ins..

Yes, I had an awesome time visiting home..

Yes, I partied hard..

YES, TODAY IS MY 26TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE!!!!

No, I did not get enough rest..

Yes, I sound just like Mama Jones or Frankie (Keyshia Cole's mom)

Yes, my hair still looks good..

Yes, my mom drove back with me..

No, I'm not doing anything remotely special for my birthday..

Yes, I am homesick..

Yes, I realize I have been slacking on posting...

Yes, I will get rest and do better..

Yes, my battery is diggity dead to the miggity max....

Yes, I got GREAT presents for my birthday....

Yes, I only wanted ONE THING for my birthday and I may not get it..

UNTIL NEXT TIME........

This is ME right now.... I need to some riggity rest before I kiggity collapse! lol

3 Necessities for A Fun-Filled Weekend

Good Morning To All Of You Out There In E-World *e-air kisses*

Well, I colored my hair.. To see pictures, you have to go to my twitter... Follow me @ImPattyWag Yup, that is my alias.. Im thinking of a twitter name change, but we shall see.. Im debating @ImPattyMelt or @JayP Hmm, Idk, but PLEASE send suggestions.....

Tomorrow, I go home to visit my Detroit and all of my family...

My Hometown ~ Yes, I'm proud!

In a previous blog, I went over some of the places I would go. Some of you who follow me on twitter or Facebook have messaged me places I should try - THANKS!!!! I will definitely try to go to those places, possible post reviews..

This post will cover the NECESSITIES for a fun-filled long weekend..

1 - Cell Phone Chargers (Wall and Car)

I don't think I need to outline why this a necessity, but for people who are having a fun-filled weekend, you must expect the unexpected. Yes, your phone is fully charged, but who knows how many calls, tweets, texts and facebooks you will get (especially if its your birthday weekend like me.. heyyyyy!!) Always, always, always.... Keep that phone charged!! Who wants to miss out on socializing because that there battery is dead???????????

Don't you just HATE it when this happens? AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS?!

Grandma says, "Oh no, you didn't Mr. Celly Cell!" lol

2 - Always pack extra outfits (Lounging and Party Wear)

Again, expect the unexpected. You never know what could happen. You could have a spill, something could not fit right, wardrobe malfunction, attires and weather can change and comfort is always the most important. Dude, channel your inner Barbie (Mattel not Nicki Minaj....) and think of her wardrobe.. She had an outfit for EVERYTHING.. So why shouldn't you?

This chick has an outfit, a back-up, an alternate and some....

3 - Makeup

Okay, sometimes we ladies love to play up our features (i.e. eyes, lips, cheekbones, etc.) with makeup. If you will be out and about all day, think neutral. You dont want to go overkill at high noon. Think neutral or eye highlights (no dark colors), neutral blush or a bronzer with a simple gloss. Mascara is a must. Stay away from smoky eyes until later in the evening. Don't cake on, but have enough makeup on to keep the shine off and make your face and features glow with excitement.

This is a BIT much for an afternoon tea with Grandma.

This is a fresh and clean look..

So, now you know what I find most important for my trip home.... But, you can feel free to use these tips for an amazing time on vacation or a Girls Weekend Getaway, maybe a night out.

What do you think?? What are your three must haves or necessities?

UNTIL NEXT TIME.........

First Date Etiquette - 4 MAJOR Rules of Adherence

Good Morning,

Today is Wednesday and I am UBER excited about going home this weekend.. Whooo hoo!

Anyway, happy belated Valentines Day to all of you out there.. Yesterday was a bit much for me. I'm single, but ironically, I had a pretty awesome Valentines Day. I got a bunch of texts and tweets wishing me a Happy Valentines Day, I made $100 using my intelligence / math skills and I went go workout.

However, when I got to the gym, a guy strolled up on me and said, "Girl, you are wayy too cute to be working out on Valentines Day."

.... Gee, thanks! >_<

This topic is in light of Spring and Summer (and all these NEW romances that are awaiting on your horizon..... ohhh kayyy?!)

Anyway, today covers first date etiquette... For guys and girls..

Since I have been on quite a few first dates, some good, some bad, and some were gut-wrenchingly terrible!!!!

Rule #1 - Be Aware of Attire and Presentation

Please make a good impression by wearing something suitable, cleaned and pressed. Nothing too clingy, too sparkly, too tight, too little, or too big. lol Please people, let's wear our right size.

Ladies watch for "over-cleave" (too much cleavage), ass cleavage :-( and painting on the makeup. No one wants to be out with an extra from UniverSoul Circus.

Men, watch for the ass cleavage *insert side eye*, grooming tactics and the controlling of bodily functions at the table. THANK YOU!




Not only is this a NO, it's an "Oh He** Naw!"



This is just nasty.. Should be illegal.. IJS..

.. which leads me to....

Rule #2 - Offensive Behavior

Ladies, you have no right to be offended about a guy using a groupon or discount of some sort when you go out. Are you paying? Um, well, HELLO then.. Shut up and enjoy being treated.... Also, ladies, texting the whole time on the date.. Can you say rude?! Muy mal, muy mal.. (Thats Spanish for 'very bad')..

Men, please do not, I repeat DO NOT talk about your ex girlfriend and her issues allllll night, especially if you are not asked. This is a first date.. Please don't unleash the crazy.... on the first date at least.. TRUST< we take note of these things and change your name to "CRAY-CRAY" or "DO NOT ANSWER" in our phone book..




JUST SAY NO takes on a WHOLE new meaning!


Yes, 'Ye, that sh** cray!

Rule # 3 Smooching

Smooching on the first date is no longer a bad thing. For me, it depends if our first date is our first meeting, or if our first date is our first romantic date, given we have known each other and were acquaintances of some sort.

I guess this is an independent thing. To each their own. However, I will say that smooching should be done in good taste. Don't wolf down a sh**load of onions, then not pop a mint/piece of gum, when your breath is humming and coming at me.. Now, this is OFFENSIVE. Then, on top of that, your lips are chapped, your biting my lips in an aggressive, non sexual and hunger-like manner... Um, stop.. Please.. I want to live without getting a blood transfusion.. Please check that breath, read for non verbal cues.. Because if you go in and Im not feeling it, I will back the he** up with a NINJA LIKE QUICKNESS!! lol

Do you need one of these when you go in for sweet lip??

Face should not look like this trying to get some sweet lip!!

Rule #4 - Eating Styles

Please, please, please take heed to this one....! LAWDY, LAWDY, MY LAWDY!!!!

Do not slurp ANYTHING! Do not lick your plate. Do not scrape your silverware. Do not take with a mouthful of food. Do you lick your fingers and make that popping noise. As a matter of fact, all that hoody hood stuff you do when nobody is looking, just don't.. You are in public.. with somebody who you are trying to learn more about. Don't ruin your chances before they even have a decent chance..

Please don't be "that person".. It's embarrassing.

Well, I think that covers 4 major rules. This list is not all inclusive.... Just 4 things which I wanted to highlight..

What do you think? What are your rules on a date? Have you done anything of these? Are these too blatant? Should people have common sense that this is a NO NO?

Until next time..........

Moment of Silence

Good Morning..

Sorry for my brief hiatus.. I got my eyes dilated and I couldn't friggin' see at ALL yesterday..

PLEASE.... Let's get a moment of silence out of RESPECT for the late, great. multi-talented, multi-faceted, uber-beautful and stunning- Whitney Houston..

She is so stunning.... Receiving her Grammy at the 30th celebration, I think..

Out of respect, I want to say that Whitney was the epitome of black soul-stirring music. Music that crawls inside you and is welcomed to stay awhile. Comfort music. Feel good music. Mad as he** music.

Shoop Shoop. You Give Good Love. I will Always Love You. Greatest Love of All. Saving All My Love. How Will I Know. I Want to Dance with Somebody. Why Does It Hurt So Bad. I have Nothing. Run to You. I'm Every Woman. Your Love is My Love. Heartbreak Hotel. I Look To You. I Didnt Know My Own Strength. Who Could Imagine a King. I Believe In You and Me. It's Not Right But Its Ok. Gosh, I really could go on and on.. And On and On.

She is so elegant and regal.

We have lost an Icon. A mother. A sista. A wife. An activist. A sister in Christ.

I remember MANY a Saturday morning my dad (RIP) or my mom would get up and be cleaning or cooking to some Whitney. My mom would alternate between Whitney and Anita Baker before dragging us to the skating rink with her..

Rest In Peace, Ms. Whitney Houston. I hope you see my father and grandmothers on the other side. They ALL loved you.