Good Morning Everybody!
Yesterday, I took a day off.. I felt it was needed, however, I got a lot of emails and texts asking me where my daily blog was. Sorry guys.. I will do better.. Please know and trust that I will slack off like I previously did.
Anyway, I got a blog topic request the other day that I have been thinking about. I'm really excited to give my opinion on it and I appreciate the love and support being shown that people want to read what I have to say on certain topics..
The topic is THE ULTIMATUM, more specifically, when women force marriage proposals out of their men.. mm hmm, basically pulling a "Chrissy" out of that a** and buckling down your Jim Jones....
What is the ultimatum, and in this case, pulling a "Chrissy"?
For those that have been living under a rock, that ultimatum is "give me this or I'm leaving" type attitude or resolve to a disagreement in a relationship, in this situation.
I've never had to give the ultimatum because honestly if I can't get my significant other to at least meet me halfway, then ADIOS hombre. I may love you, but I love me wayy more. I've heard of women giving THE ULTIMATUM for several reasons which include the following, but are not limited to these areas: Years spent together, relationship has stalled, would like a higher, more specific type of commitment, would like kids with this person, feels unfulfilled/bored with themselves or their accomplishments. That's just IMO. Again, that's just IMO. I could be wrong.
Pulling a "Chissy" is a phrase I have coined. Yup, that's all me, boo-boo. If you have ever seen Love & Hip-Hop on Vh1, then you know EXACTLY what I mean!! If you do not watch that tv show, I will explain a bit further. Pulling a "Chrissy" is the ultimate wench/coat tail rider move in my eyes. You can kick, scratch, bi**h, nag and moan in your relationship for the type of commitment you feel is needed or entitled to you at this point. You give reasons on top of reasons on top of explanations of why what you want is best for all parties involved. At one point, you start acting out for attention, i.e. fighting, being standoff-ish, over protective of friendships, material things, getting up in arms and defensive about situations that don't even concern you. You're crying all the time, feeling sad, until you realize you have to play that "trump" card: You drop the bomb and say "I need time to reevaluate us. I'm not happy."
Honestly, maybe I am stretching it, because I actually like Chrissy's character and I feel for her, but I really feel that she could have communicated better. It was NEVER what she wanted in the end, it was her way of approaching the issue to find her resolve, which a selfish at times. For instance, it was never an issue that she felt she deserved some type of commitment from Jim Jones, but it was the way in which it was approached. The Mom issue, the manager issue, the Kimbella (misdirected anger) issue by way of Emily B. (which I feel is a whole 'nother TWO blogs; one for Em and one for Chrissy's misdirected anger or frustration) and a whole other bunch of thangs.
I said it before and I will say it again: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I repeat: Women, you can not make a man do anything that his heart is not ready to offer you. I am tired of women saying, "Well, if we were [married/together/in a relationship/etc], this is how we would act anyway. I mean, it's kinda like the same thing, just without being [married/together/in a relationship/etc].
No, Dumbelina!!!! If it was the same thing, what you are doing would be the same word or a synonym for what you would like to be doing. smh..
Honestly, we have all been there one time or another.. Where we have wanted something so bad.. But, sometimes we as human beings, will hold to the very same things that God himself is trying to rid us of, but we are too ignorant or blind to realize how toxic and detrimental "our wants" can be to us. Mmm, that's deep.. But real..
If a guy wants to be with you (or if a girl wants to be with you), there is nothing and no one that can stop them from doing so, besides God himself. If that attraction or love is so strong (like Jim professed his to be for Chrissy), what was the real deal Holyfield for him being just her boyfriend for 8 years?? I mean, honestly, if she holds you down like says you do, why wouldn't you put a ring on it? All jokes aside, you're not on the team until you have a ring. So, for Chrissy, to hold him down with such fevered allegiance is not ridiculous, but it is a risky investment of her life and time. Time waits for no (wo)man.
In summation, if you are at the point of issuing your significant other an ultimatum, then you need to keep it moving and drop them. Because obviously, they are not at the level you are on in terms of commitment.
What do you think? Have you ever issued ultimatums to anyone in your life? If so, how did it go? If not, why not? Do you feel ultimatums are a move of desperation?
Until next time, CIAO BABIES!
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